Beyond Ordinary

Sophomore!!

2011-07-15T16:25:00.001-04:00

Well, here I am, getting ready to go back to school! I am a sophomore.

I went to school in the fall with much anticipation. I can remember riding down to school thinking, "This is insane. This is just insane. Let's just turn around and go back home. This is impossible. This is never going to work." My stomach was in knots, and I was so nervous. My first day at school my cell phone broke, and I was a wreck. It took a couple of months for me to get used to life at school, but I finally adjusted. I made it through the end of the semester and came out with my GPA where I wanted it, and had a great group of friends. I went back to school and worked for 3 weeks of Christmas break before school started. Second semester was FANTASTIC. My group of friends grew, and we found our "core" group. We had fun, we studied, we wrote research papers, we laughed, we cried, we fought (some of us), we ate french fries, and we conquered finals! I made it into the nursing program!!! I'm going to nursing school in one of the top 10 nursing school in the nation! SO exciting. We all parted ways to get summer jobs, but as the weeks passed by, I still had no job.

As I was praying, God lead me to stop searching for a job. He told me to wait on him. So I waited - impatiently. "Okay, God! Bring me a job! Drop it in my lap! I'm waiting!!" One night as I was praying I told him, "Lord, you know I need a job! All you have to do is give your word. One word and I have a job. It's in your hands, Lord. Please!" Sometimes God will reach down from heaven and give me a clear word, or a phrase, or a sentence. He'll send a thought, and I know it's not my own. He said, "Laura, you don't need a job. You only need for me to provide for you." So I stewed for a few days. Huffed and puffed. "I can't believe this. I'm sitting here all summer, not doing ANYTHING, when I could be working! I don't understand! I want to work. I'm WILLING to work!! I will work HARD and LONG. I'll do what it takes to accomplish my goals! I'm not lazy! I don't want people to think I'm lazy. I want to go back to school! This is my dream! What am I going to do?!" When I realized that I was hating God's will for my life, I was a little schocked. Romans 12:1-2 talks about renewing the mind so that one can accomplish the "good, perfect, and acceptable" will of God. If God's will is really perfect, then how can I hate it. I started praying that God would change my heart, and I also started thinking about all the pros of not having a job. First of all, how cool is it that God would send me to college, but not make me pay for it? How cool is it that I get to stay home without a job this summer? I've been able to spend a lot of time with friends, and family, help with VBS at church, and I even held a yard sale at home. Very cool. I'm getting SO MUCH REST this summer. At school, rest is like...unheard of.
Most of all, God is teaching me to have faith, and stretching the faith I have. I don't understand why he works the way he works, not at all. It is hard, to believe that he will provide for me through this journey. Now that I'm a nursing student, I have even more costs than if I were pursuing some other study. I have to have health insurance, a background check, uniform, tools (stethoscope&hemostat, etc.), my books are going to be very expensive, and then there is the normal tuition, room, and board, as well as other expenses during the school year. Going into this with NO MONEY and trusting God to provide is extremely difficult. The Lord has reminded me though, that this is his idea, not mine. Last year he told me he would make it "painfully clear" that this is his idea, not mine, and that there is no way I can accomplish this without him.

So, here we go. Not too long, and I'll be setting out for school, once again, pretty much penniless. Not destitute, though, because I have God as my father and he will provide for me. He loves to take care of me, and to prove himself.

Just a walk, but now I'm changed.

2010-04-03T19:41:00.001-04:00

I took a walk today. I wanted help. I wanted healing, and I wanted to forgive.
You see, earlier, all the anger and hurt I was pushing back came welling up inside of me with a force that overwhelmed me. I wanted to forgive, and I didnt want the anger I could feel poisoning me. I couldn't help it though. I had been wronged, again and again and again. I had forgiven, again and again and again, and now I was facing a frustrating situation which, while not very important, made me realize just how upset I was. Abandoned, I was now helpess to fix my problem. A problem that could wait for a solution, but presented me with a terrible thought. What if it had been a much bigger problem? What if it had been life changing? No matter the problem, the one who was supposed to protect me and care for me was gone, wasting time and money on things that do not matter. Unprotected and uncared for, there I stood, trying to fight for myself, for those I love, and for the one leaving us vulnerable.
I was helpless to put away my anger. I was powerless to forgive. I couldn't do it on my own. So I took a walk. I cried out to the One who will never leave me. I gave Him my anger and asked Him to wash me clean. I asked for help so I could forgive and love again. The One who is eternally faithful heard my cries, took my heart, and made me clean. He forgave my sin, washed it away, and gave me His strength so that I could forgive.
I took a walk today, down my best friend's driveway. And when I came back, I was changed.

Dear Blog

2010-02-28T21:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog,
48 hour work weeks are crazy. Especially when it includes all day at church Sunday, Wednesday all evening at church, and possibly 2 more nights out all evening.
My dad's dad passed away in January. He was buried on his birthday. It was bittersweet. So glad he got to go home, though.
Family is going through some issues. I won't lie, it's tough. I've decided to save my money so I can go to Pensacola Christian College.
I get really tired of all the teasing at work......the youngest white girl, pretty, single, innocent, naive, etc......
it's so dirty at work....dirt, and vulgar people. *sigh*
I want to go to college!
Lord, help me be a light in the midst of the darkness at work.
I'm always tired. But the next 4 saturdays are mandatory.
I love my church SO MUCH. My kids in children's church, youth choir, adult choir, the Easter program, Sunday School...it's all so good and refreshing.
Good night, blog world.

And so the new year begins

2010-01-03T23:23:00.000-05:00

My dear friends, it is now 2010! And for this I am extremely grateful. I think this calls for a bit of retrospect.

2009

I got my driver's license! w00t!
I went to the beach
I graduated
I was an assistant counselor at camp with one of my best friends
I was a camper for three weeks
I drove -out of state- to North Carolina, accompanied by a dear friend
I turned 19
I moved back to the city where my mom grew up
I drove, alone, to Kentucky to meet my best friend in person for the very first time, and attend her wedding.
I went to VA for a short week and got to see Washington D.C. for the first time!
I got my first full-time job
I only got sick three times! Astounding!

It was a good year, but the end of it was very frustrating. I had no job, no routine, and life was feeling rather stagnant. Thanks to my Heavenly Father for providing a job! I'm looking forward to enjoying routine in 2010!

I have made a couple of goals for myself, so far.

I want to read more books. At least one book a month.
I want to work out at least three times a week with my best friend, Alicia.
I want to take the SAT in March.
I want to wear all of my jewelry, instead of just a few pieces.
I want to celebrate all the the reasons for all the different holidays on days OTHER than their designated national holiday.

SO, here are some pictures from 2009 to finish up my posty.

2009-12-03T15:01:00.000-05:00

Oh dear blog, I ask thy forgiveness for I surely dropped off the face of the earth for half of November.
Things were just a bit .... tough is a good word. And I just didn't feel like posting. Not that I wasn't grateful for something every day, but I didn't feel like posting, so I didn't.

Would you like an update on life?
Thanksgiving was a wonderful day. We had almost all the food prepared beforehand, so there wasn't much to do but bake on Thanksgiving. We watched the parade and the dog show, I made a souffle with as much topping as there was souffle. =) It was very awesome. We sat down to dinner together and ate, and then later that night our best friends came over and had leftovers and coffee with us! It was magical. =P

I am currently scheduled to start working a new job on Wednesday. It is a full-time, first shift job, and I am very grateful for it! It's going to be interesting.

I finished painting and cleaning my room. Now I'm on project Get Everything Organized Before I Go To Work. Its going really well! I'm about halfway to completion.
I finally got a bookshelf to display all my lovely books on, and perhaps I shall take some pictures and show you all!

I've decided that it is time for me to take the SAT. SO, I'm borrowing a book from a friend until I can buy my own, and then I shall be able to write in it. I plan on studying it for an hour or more every day, and hopefully taking the SAT in January. I may wait until March, though.

I was cleaning my bed room today, and picking up some glass that I was planning on throwing away, but it had falled out of my trash bin. In the process I pulled my lamp off the desk and shattered one of the glass plates on it. It's pretty much history now. I need to buy a new lamp. =l I've gotten plenty of use out of it, though.

And now I must depart and clean up the glass. <3

=D

2009-11-16T16:04:00.000-05:00

You know, I'm just not any good at posting every day. Good thing I am good at making up when I forget! I have 3 thankfuls today. Saturday, Sunday, and today.

I have some amazing grandparents. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but they love me. They let me go over to their house pretty much whenever I feel like it. They let me eat their food, and sleep in their bed. They don't even mind if I leave a little mess, once in awhile. I am so grateful for them! <3

I also have an amazing church. I am infinitely grateful for it! I've never been to a place like this before. I have the opportunity to serve, and be served. I'm part of a family there. There are people who have become like family to me. Ladies who take time to mentor me, friends who take time to love me..... My choirs are FANTASTIC. This is our second Christmas with Tyler and Janson, and they have really done a lot for the music at Belmont. The music ministries have blossomed under their care. =) It has also been encouraging to watch THEM grow in Christ as they lead us.

Today I am thankful for my sister, Caiti. She wrote a hilarious blog post about a game my siblings and I used to play as children, based on a NatGeo documentary. Caiti has such a different perspective on life than I do, and it shocks me sometimes. We are pretty different, but I love her to death. She is amazing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

What if you and I went for a walk out in the rain
And you turned to me and you said you’d like to share Just a little of your pain
Well my brother I thought you’d never say
I’ve been waiting forever for this day

What if you were to call me up and ask
For a minute of my time’
And you cried and said you were different from the rest
Like it was some kind of crime
Well my sister I hoped that you might come
And I promise that you are not the only one

Look me in the eye and tell me honestly
What ever lies behind your broken heart
Is too complex for me
Come and talk to me if for only for a while
I am reaching for you

What if you were to tell me you were through
With the way that you live
Cause you take so much from an empty world outside
You've got nothing left to give
Well my brother I’ve felt the same way too
But someone changed me and He’s got his eye on you

What if you remembered who you were
Before people broke you down
And you realized you were someones little girl
And he loves when you’re around
We'll my sister, your dad has seen you hurt
And He’s waiting for you with open arms

Nothing hurts Him more than seeing you in pain
Just to see you come so close to Him
And turn and walk away
Hide yourself in Him, He will make you brand new
He is reaching out for you
Your God is reaching out for you
He's reaching out for you

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I have been getting back into doing some deeper devotions this past week, and actually DOING them. It is SO easy not to. I was thinking, like I do a lot, and my train of thought was going all over the place. I eventually ended up thinking about a set of tapes a dear lady gave me. In the tapes she talked about how important it is for girls to protect the purity of their brothers in Christ, instead of being a stumbling block to them in dress or conversation. She talked about being the kind of girl that is respected by her guy friends, and makes them want to be more like Christ. In my "growing-up" as a Christian since then, it has been one of my unspoken goals to be that girl. I wonder if I have achieved my goal?

On a lighter note, I'm hungry.......
=P

<3 Laura

My Bible

2009-11-13T13:05:00.001-05:00

Latish last year I bought something I have grown to treasure immensely.

There are many reasons why I love this Bible so very much. First of all, it's God's personal letter to me! Wow. I don't grasp the truth of that statement the way I want to, but I hope that God will help me to, in time. The translation is English Standard Version, and I have to say I plan on raising my kids with the ESV.
I do appreciate the King James Version, and up to the past year it is the version I have used my whole life. I checked out the ESV online before I bought a hard copy. Alex and Brett Harris from the Rebelution used the ESV, so I figured it was worth checking out. I fell in love with it! I can understand it so much quicker than I can understand the King James. I love how poetic "thee" and "thou" and etc. sound, but when it comes down to every day life I am thrilled to have a version I can trust that says "you" instead. I know what the fancy words mean, but when I'm reading to myself having my Bible in language I regularly speak makes it so much easier for me to comprehend and apply it to my life.
In so many ways I can understand and comprehend what I am reading in the ESV sooner than I do reading it in the KJV. The content is exactly the same, just using slightly different words/wording.
For example, take Romans 6:22 in KJV
22 But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
Now in ESV
22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.

Wow. Reading it in the ESV brings it to life - makes it real for me.

I read a verse in James that confused me when I first read it. James 3:1 (KJV)
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.
Then I read it in the ESV and said, "Duh!'
1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

Just a couple of examples.

Another reason I LOVE my Bible so much is the style. It's small, flexible, the text is a great size, and it has a great concordance in the back! It has footnotes at the bottom, too. It's also terribly pretty. It's a beautiful cranberry red. I love cranberry red. There is only one color I love almost as much as blue, and that is red. However, I am very picky about my shades of red, and this Bible is a beautiful shade. And the filigree design on it is just gorgeous.

The reason I love my Bible that inspired me to write this post today is this: it is laid out in paragraph form with small numbers noting the different verse numbers INSTEAD of each new verse starting on a new line. I can follow the train of thought so much better this way.

So, for today, I am so grateful for my Bible. Thank you Lord for letting me live in a country where I have such easy access to a Bible, and the freedom to read it wherever I please!

Beautiful Savior

2009-11-13T00:08:00.000-05:00

Jesus is such a beautiful savior. Our God is so almighty and the earth is truly filled with his glory. Even though the world glorifies Satan and sin, the beauty of creation will always glorify God.
I took my brother to school today, and had time to kill before choir practice. I spent a blissful hour and a half sitting on the back of my car directly facing the setting sun, drinking it in. I pulled out my CIT book of notes and started reading them aloud. I realized today that it is very important for me to read things aloud. Speaking it and hearing it while I am reading it give me such a better level of comprehension. So, I read aloud. I was so very convicted of how I've spent the last few months pretending to be close to God. I read a statement I had written, "That I may know Him - this is the greatest goal of my life.", and realized that I have not been true to that goal. I have spent more time pursuing friends than my sweet savior. How could I? But I did. And I will again in the future. No matter, what's done is done, I will strive to do better, and with the help of my dear savior, each time I fall he will help me back up and further on down this narrow path he is leading me on. It was such a beautiful time. I am so grateful for Jesus...for everything about him.

=)

2009-11-11T15:58:00.000-05:00

I am SO GRATEFUL for sunshine!!! It's a beautiful thing. It has been raining today, and that makes me kinda sad. Sunshine makes me so very happy. I thrive on sunshine. Sunshine makes life happy! It casts such a cheeriness over the world. With sunshine, the sky is a beautiful, deep blue. It's just happy.

=)

In other news the bathroom is finally painted, and the bedroom is beginning to get into some order. Slowly but surely it will be accomplished.
<3

=D

2009-11-11T00:50:00.000-05:00

So, I have a VERY good excuse for forgetting Monday and not posting until midnight Tuesday.

I was very, very tired and slept a lot of Monday. Today I took my brother to school, painted my bathroom and one wall of my bedroom, and went to church to pray for an hour with some friends.

Monday I am thankful for a family who understands and lets me rest when I am devoid of energy. So kind of them!

Today I am thankful for the Holy Spirit who prompts me to pray for friends, and be understanding to their situations.

I am beat. <3

btw, next week is the meteor shower!

Thankfulness

2009-11-07T12:08:00.000-05:00

I missed a couple days, I know!
So, I have three things to be thankful for today.

For Thursday I'm thankful for life. Just the ability to live, and be, and do. I got a lot accomplished in the bathroom, and then we went to church. I really do enjoy my life, with all of its craziness.

For Friday I'm thankful for travel. We took our trip a week early, and my mom came. I love driving and going places. It was fun.

For today I'm thankful for relationships. I spent a lot of time with my cousin, Allie, yesterday. I babysat her and we had a great time. Also my friend, Sarah, came over and we went to the mall and walked around with coffee. Then we came and sat in the grass and talked for quite awhile. It was good fellowship.

I know I'm not going to get around to blogging tomorrow, so I'm just going to say thankful for church, and the opportunity to serve. It is such a blessing to be involved in ministry. =) God is good!

Room Makeovers!

2009-11-04T09:53:00.000-05:00

Today's "grateful" of the day is a little hard to put into one word.
I am so grateful that I have the means to make this room better. There was a leak from the toilet upstairs, and my daddy fixed it. I'm about to coat the carpet in baking soda and leave it for a few days. (Yes, it is that bad.)
Hopefully I can find the air fresheners, because it's really smelly. I'm about to pain the bathroom, and hopefully the bedroom as well. Soon I hope to get a nice-ish rug for the bathroom. Once the ceiling dries up from the leak (it may be dry already), and I finish painting, we can put Emmie's bed where it belongs and get all the furniture in place.

I've been listening to The Three Musketeers on cd lately. I'm on disc 6 out of 20. Heh. This dude reads SO SLOW and I can figure out a way to make him play faster. :(

My Christmas lights are up, and cheerful!

<3

Today I am Thankful for Good Surprises

2009-11-03T14:57:00.000-05:00

I walked into the family area by our kitchen today with lunch and my mom asked me if I wanted to drive my two younger sisters out-of-state for a cousin's birthday party at a theme park! It's about an 8-9 hour drive, and I'll be going down next Thursday (early) and coming back on Saturday(afternoon). =D I'm so excited! I thought I was done with trips for 2009. I've been on quite a few. Ski trip in February, vacation in April, camp in June, camp twice in July/August, trip to a friends wedding in October, and a trip to a small retreat just last week (October).
I have confirmed my suspicion this year that I LOVE traveling! =D It's the best. I love driving, and I have been wanting to spend some time with my little sisters. This is going to be a blast.
I am so thankful for good surprises. Yesterday was really tough, so this is great. =)
God is good!
Shout out to J.G. - I hope you're doing well, and I said a prayer for you today.

Thankful in November - the 1st and 2nd

2009-11-02T18:03:00.000-05:00

So, friendies, I am going to try and post something I am grateful for every day of November.
I was very uber tired yesterday, so I did not post, but I'll make it up today.

1 - I am SO THANKFUL for my bed.
I just got home from VA, and I was so tired Sunday that I actually came home from church. I took a nap in my bed. It was wonderful to be back in my own bed. *happiness*

2 - I am grateful for God's grace in my life - the power and ability to do right.
We're having some difficult situations with my Granddad, and he's moving upstairs. He's taking my room. My somewhat ugly, but very nice room. My room with a closet, my room with two windows, my room with nice carpet, my room next to a wonderful bathroom. My warm room, my room that feels connected to the rest of the house, my clean room.

I'm moving downstairs into his room. His dirty, smelly, cold room with no windows, flat, hard carpet. I got up this morning to this dilemma first thing. My mom said either we could move around 4 bedrooms upstairs, or we could move 2 rooms, that being moving Pawpaw upstairs, and my sister and me downstairs. I didn't want to, and don't like it, but its best for everyone except for me and my sister that we move downstairs. So, I did it. Once I realized what I was doing I stopped and went to the bathroom for just a second, prayed, and shed a few tears. It's hard, going against my flesh. God extended his grace, though, and I accepted, and together, we got things done.

I had to clean a lot of Pawpaw's things. They are disgusting. He dips snuff, and wets his bed. I am pretty sure he relieved himself in a corner of his bedroom downstairs at some point. All of his furniture was covered in a layer of grease and dirt, but it is clean now. I steam cleaned some of the carpet in the bedroom downstairs that is now mine.

I have to figure out how to put all of the furniture in my new room, and sometime this week we're going to put up some shelves and install a new ceiling fan. Eventually we're going to paint it a lighter color. It's kind of dark and dingy right now.

God is good, and I am tired!
<3

Cold = holidays!

2009-10-19T15:53:00.000-04:00

Cold weather is upon us, and cold weather has a very special association in my mind!

HOLIDAYS!!

I love the holiday season. I am none too fond of cold weather; it hurts! However, there's nothing like family, warm fires, lovely dishes of delicious foods, friends, ahhh. The holidays are extremely wonderful. Is there really anything as good as sitting down to a table bursting with food and family?

Green bean casserole, turkey, dressing and gravy, sweet potato souffle.....*happiness*

I can just smell the sweet potato souffle. (This is making me hungry.)

I can't wait for Thanksgiving, because it is such a beautiful season of thankfulness. This November I'm going to try to do something new. I'm going to write in my journal one thing I'm thankful for for every day. I may miss a few days, but I'm going to try and make it a daily thing.

One of the reasons I love Thanksgiving so much is because it means Christmas is right around the corner. Some of my absolute most favorite things in life are Christmas lights. I love sitting down to a desk full of homework with a candle, Christmas music, and Christmas lights. I love shopping for Christmas presents with my little bit of money, and I love Christmas parties with friends. I love baking gifts for my guy friends, and the smell of scotch tape and wrapping paper!

I'm waiting on my Daddy to get home so I can go run some errands. I need to deposit a check into my checking account, drop off a job application, and possibly get some tennis shoes. I may just skip on that errand. I really don't have the money. I also need to take my siblings to the library. Maybe I'll pick up some new cds or movies, if they have anything good. =D

Happy October, dearies!

by the way, if Elizabeth who left me a comment a couple blog posts ago would please email me because I LOST her email address, that would be mahvelous. =)

Convicted

2009-10-16T01:08:00.003-04:00

Tonight I sat down and worked on memorizing a piece of music. I spent around half an hour to forty-five minutes memorizing the piece. I would start from the beginning and play until I messed up; once I messed up I started over. Ever time I messed up I started from the beginning. Each time I played longer and longer until I came to a spot I realized I had to work on separately from the whole song. I stopped my "game", worked on that spot, and then started my game up again for awhile.

You see, this music is accompaniment to a song the Youth Choir at my church is learning. It is very important that I am able to play it perfectly, so that I don't mess up the choir, and so that I don't draw attention away from them drawing attention to God. I'm only there to support and add to their music. Accompaniment is not necessary to a song, but it is a pleasant addition. I definitely don't want to take away from the song. However, I haven't been doing very well, and I am struggling very much to make it perfect.

Often when I learn a song I learn it with the sheet music in front of me, and within about 3 weeks of steady practice I can play it at performance level, with the music. I went about learning my choir music the same way, but for some reason or other it just isn't cutting it. After 5 or so weeks of steady practice I was getting worse and tripping up on the easier parts of the song, even though I had pretty much mastered some of the places that seemed very hard in the beginning. I decided it was time to memorize the song, and now I have almost completely memorized every note of this 11 page song. I am going to play this song over and over and over again until not only can I play every note perfectly, but until it flows out of me, as if it were a part of me. I will play this song until it becomes a part of me.

As I was practicing tonight, it hit me. I was meditating on that song. I was mulling it over, going over every tiny detail, playing it over and over and over again. Why don't I ever do that with scripture? Why don't I ever go over a verse time and time again until it becomes a part of me?

I was very convicted.

God told me tonight, "Laura, how can I bless your music when you are playing a part? How can you serve me at church when you do not serve me at home? Just because you were serving me before doesn't mean you can ride on that. You must serve me continually."

I have been a very disobedient child, and I have served myself very much more than I even want to realize these past weeks. Lord, forgive me. You have given me the grace to be obedient and I have rejected it! And I have asked you to bless me, anyway. How selfish of me. And in my selfishness I have missed out on so much of his wonderfulness. How is is that serving myself is really robbing myself? My logic is SO messed up.

I'm so grateful that my Father is gracious, merciful God, slow to anger, and of great kindness. <3

2009-10-02T11:13:00.001-04:00

I went to the most amazing spiritual boot camp this summer, and learned heaps upon heaps of amazing truths. I was sent home with notes of my own, and notes that I had not even read yet! My mind was absolutely full of good scripture, and I had memorized plenty by the end of my three weeks of camp. It's amazing how much you can memorize. One of the things they asked us, point blank, was, "When you go home, and it's not a requirement, are you gonna keep it up?" I wanted to, and I have a scripture memory book just for it! It's a beautiful little blank book my friend sent me. I worked on it halfheartedly when I got home, and then I quit putting it in priority, and I haven't been doing scripture memory in awhile.
I had a routine going for about two weeks ,but then we started moving, and things have been crazy ever since. I don't know what it is, but when I don't have a routine I stop putting God first. This is something I really must conquer.....I live a day or two by His strength, and then I go to sleep and default back to my own strength without even realizing it (maybe it is because I don't take the time each day to humble myself before God and ask for grace to live by His strength to accomplish His will).
While I was at camp I took all my scripture verses on my colored index cards with me, to put up on my bed. I didn't get them back up on my wall once I got home, especially with the move and everything. This weekend it is top priority on my list to get them back up, because I have REALLY needed them, and the way I think about myself has started sliding back into what it used to be. I guess I have found out the reality of the fact that when you're not constantly surrounded by and immersed in scripture you don't change, or you revert back if you have changed. Matt Collier said, "Without serious decision and commitment to be constantly exposed to God's Word I can have no lasting change." and he wasn't kidding.
I'm doing lots of praying these days. God has been doing lots of answering prayers, too. It feels so good to humble myself in his sight and say, "Daddy, help! I need this! Please, please, would you supply it for me?" As much as God is answering so many of my prayers I'm still afraid of being let down........, but I'm still holding on, too.
God is good, and life goes on, and I'm going to see my Jojo in person FINALLY very very soon. There's something about dreams coming true that makes me laugh out loud....=D

2009-09-22T09:04:00.001-04:00

So, I have plans to wash, dry, and fold over 18 loads of laundry today. I washed a few last night, so I have 3 ready to fold, one in the dryer.
Guess which room of the house is the most convenient for me to pick up internet today?
Laundry room!! =D I think that's pretty funny. Guess I'll be stopping for email breaks during my laundry. ;) lol Hopefully after all the rain goes away I can get access throughout the whole house.
<3

Turns out I'm going to be at the library for a few hours, today, too. Fun stuff!

Wow guys, it has been a long time!!

2009-08-18T21:31:00.002-04:00

My dear blog readers,
I apologize for how long it has been since my last post! Life is most amazingly full and crazy.

I am pretty much devastated that summer is over. =( It's the ultimate sadness. I need to fly south for the winter. However, God has work for me at home, and I serve him, not me.

I posted the following on my facebook - it's pretty much what I learned at camp.

This summer I spent 4 weeks at camp. God taught me a lot over the spring semester, but around May I had started floundering spiritually. I was taking my spiritual growth into my hands and trying to figure out what I needed to do to keep the ball rolling. I knew that camp was God's will for me and that he had something specific to teach me, so I was pretty much excited to be there!!!!!
The first week of camp I spent as an assistant counselor at camp sunrise. I really realized how selfish I was for the first time. Then first week at the Wilds was really a good week of encouragement. God used everything to show me that I had been using other peoples shortcomings as an excuse for my bad attitudes and selfishness. He really taught me that my attitude is my own choice, and that in order to be like Christ I must be constantly immersed in God's Word.
The second week was a lot of learning how to/more about denying myself. God had shown me that I was selfish/focused on myself, and now it was time to learn about it and how to deal with it. Mostly learning that my purpose in life is not anything about myself, it's about glorifying God, and causing others to come to right opinions about him so that they in turn will give him his proper place and worth in their lives. It was also a lot of learning that in order to have the right fruits in my life I have to believe the truth about God, and act on it. That really fit in with being constantly immersed in God's Word - if I am not constantly in God's Word there is no way I can know the truth about him, much less believe it! God really cracked down on me in one of the sessions about having a tender heart. Scott mentioned that hurt in life comes from faulty logic - people should be treating me right, and when they don't I get hurt. I really struggle with forgiving others, and this particular session showed me that my lack of forgiveness is a sin against God. When people do things that hurt me I have to take my eyes off myself and forgive. They are accountable to God for what they did, and I am accountable to God to respond correctly. My counselor mentioned that I am the only person I can control, so I had better control myself!
We talked a lot about how a Christian's role in life is to be a servant leader, memorized a bunch of character quailities, and verses to back them up, and really looked at examples of that in the new testament. We also talked about what it requires to walk in the Spirit. It totally requires dependence and submission, and somehow I TOTALLY missed the point of this session. I heard it all, but it didn't sink in and hit home.
I went home and was able to use the things God had taught me to not freak out when a couple big issues came up. That was really encouraging!!!
I went back and learned a lot more, and I had a good week, but I was frustrated. I felt like I couldn't live up to what was expected of me, and I was struggling with wanting to spend time and be with my CIT friends, and getting to know the girls in my cabin, as well as going t my extra sessions and regular camp activities. It's a lot. I got upset with my counselor at one point because I felt like she was upset at me for a miscommunication. For some reason or other,as hard as I tried I couldn't let it go. So, for the next 24 hours I had a bad attitude. I ended up having an emotional melt down, and after that I was mostly better, but things still didn't feel exactly right. I was definitely ready to go home. Friday night, the last sermon, and the last point of the last sermon was about how in order to be on God's side you have to be dependent on God. The speaker made the point that we pretty much just have to say, "Okay God, I give up! I quit! I can't do it.", and then the light came on. I realized that I had been trying to do and be everything I had learned in my own strength, which really, really, really did not work. I went out during the invitation with my counselor and talked to her about everything and prayed with her.I asked God to really keep me humble and to give me the strength I need to live like him, since I most certainly can't.One of the neat things that was pointed out in one of the sessions was the fact that in Isaiah 40:31 where it says, "they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." it doesn't mean that God will fill our strength back up when its empty. God doesnt begin where we end, but he exchanges our strength for his strength so that it never has to end. =D That is SO COOL. So, I apologized to Bethany for my attitude, and apologized to my cabin for not being more of a servant to them. It felt so much like a huge backpack had been taken off me. I was really sad that I was so dense that God had to let me go through that whole entire week of trying to do things in my own strength so that he could correct me. I am just disappointed at all the opportunities for ministry that I missed bcause I was so focused on myself.
Another thing I really learned was how proud I am/tend to be and didn't even realize it, and how terrible I am at taking constructive, kind criticism! Wow. So humbling.
All of this is pretty choppy, but it's a wonder I got it all out. Hopefully soon I will post about camp, the fun stuff, but right now after taking in so much info at camp, stuff at home, and life, my brain is mUSH and it is a wonder I got this all out. =P

I am really looking forward to taking everything I have learned and living accordingly now. I'm going to compile a list of quotes/statements that impacted me the most, and hopefully post some of my notes, as well.

Since camp I have been oodles of busy. I just posted some of this on a different blog. (www.thegiveawaytree.xanga.com - check it out! I give away things. mmhm. free things. what's better?)

Since I've been home life has been a lot crazy. My granddad is going to be moving into the house with my family soon. There are 7 of us kids, 3 bedrooms, and a storage room. Well, we've decided to put the 4 of us girls in one room, the 3 guys in another, and the medium sized bedroom beside the bathroom will be for my granddad. Well, this involves using the storage room as a closet for the four of us girls. We have a LOT of stuff. In order to use it as a closet we had to pretty much completely reorganize and declutter that room. It was ..well, you couldn't walk through it for anything. =D
I'm looking for a part time job in town. Praying that God will provide so I can pay off some money I owe, and get the funds to take a small road trip in October. (My best friend a few states away is getting married.) I'm also highly involved in keeping the household running, and homeschooling my younger siblings. I haven't had a whole lot of time for extra stuff lately. =) It has been nice getting so much accomplished, and getting into practical application with everything I've learned at camp.

I was really hoping I'd be in college this semester. Funny thing, whenever I looked forward to being 19 years old I always thought I would be starting my second year of college, probably have a boyfriend, and I'd generally be a lot more on top of life. hehe! God has such different plans, and I am learning to love his plans that are so beautiful for me.

My family is going through something of a rough time right now. I can't really expound on that, but keep us in your prayers if you will. Especially my dad! My parents both work full time, and my sister is going to start working mornings in September, so my parents need me at home in the morning to keep the house running, and help homeschool the kids. Mostly I just teach my little brother to read, and math. More of what I do with the older kids is just accountability to get their work done, and a little help with things they don't understand. I also have the fun job of cooking/serving breakfast and lunch, and making sure chores get done. I enjoy the meals, and I need the practice with cooking. The making sure things get done gets tough, though. Since I'm not the parent my sibings tend to feel I haven't got a right to keep on telling them what to do. Also, Mama and Daddy don't generally make sure as many things get done as need to be done. It's a hard job, and I'm going to have to be very careful as I go about it. I think God has me here for a reason, though, and I'm gonna give it all I've got.

My favorite quote right now is, "what you do with the first two hours of your day shows a lot about who you love most."
I've been getting up at 6 and doing devos, then around 6:45-7 I start cooking breakfast for the fam. Once 8 gets here I go on my morning run. If I can keep up this routine, I'll be doing pretty good. =D

This has been an ENTIRELY too long post, so I will save the rest of my quotes for another day. <3
Laura Ansley Loshie or whatever you want to call me.
;)

June already! Yes!!!

2009-06-12T20:08:00.005-04:00

So, it's June! Yes, it is. =) And I am LOVING the summer heat! Driving down the road, 90 degrees, doing 55 with the windows down, radio playing, and an icy dr. pepper...oh yes! One of my absolute FAVORITE things to do. My family thinks I'm crazy - 90 degrees and no ac - but it's just the way I am, part of who I am. Gotta love it.

Buckle up, this is gonna be a long post!

VBS is soon! I can't wait. I'm supposed to be helping! I am excited about it.

So, I had a wonderful graduation party on May the 29th. I was really nervous - everyone was going to be paying attention to ME. That's a little crazy! We were running a little bit late, and I was rushing to get ready and get everything together with Mama and Caiti. They were AMAZING and they made my party so special. <3 style="width: 194px;">

My Graduation

My graduation ceremony was Tuesday May 19th, and I was really nervous, then! I had my cap and gown, and all I had to do was walk across a huge stage to get my diploma in front of a billion people and NOT TRIP. SUCESS. =D It went really well. One of my best friends gave a speech, and it was just neat. I am now an officially graduated high school student, and my diploma is beautiful. =D

I also went to the Calvary graduation, last Saturday. At my old church all the homeschooler graduates have a ceremony together. It gets kinda long, because all the dads give a little speech about/to their kids, congratulating them, and giving them their diploma. When there are 13 graduates it gets a bit long, and the Calvary pews are COMPLETELY horrendously uncomfortable. What's with that?! It gave me a horrible crick in my neck. HOWEVER, it was amazing anyway! I went to see my friends Taylor and John. Taylor sang a duet with another girl, and I almost cried. They sang 'O Wondrous Love', and that's one of my favorite songs! A dear friend of mine dedicated it to me when I was going through a really rough spell, and it has just been a super encouragement to me over the past year. It was spectacular. John carried the flag in, I guess that's pretty spectacular, too. =P After the ceremony there was a reception and I had a most AMAZING time being with Tay and John, and seeing all my old peeps. It was....spectacular. =D

This past Sunday our church had 'senior recognition day', and it was kinda crazy! I went and taught children's church in the early service, played the offertory, went to choir practice, Sunday school, sang in the choir, sat in the front pew (bleh) for Pastor's .....charge to the seniors, played the offertory, had lunch, got all my stuff for my display table, went to church early to set up my table, had choir practice, had YOUTH choir practice, sang w/ the youth choir in the evening service, listened to an awesome sermon about Peter, and then had the reception. THEN I went and spent some time with a friend, JULIE, who came from Calvary to come to my reception. =P It was fun and tiring. Pics from my display table ( <---hint, link!) (it was really neat, I had all my favorite books, movies, cds, and pictures (on my laptop), I had my favorite Bible verses and some pictures from vcation taped up, and my 'bottles of the ocean', also my three beloved Willow Tree dolls. It was really awesome!!)

I am really excited about the future...the next 5 years......I don't know what it's going to hold but I know God has big plans and dreams for me!!! I'm planning on working at least a semester before going to college. I can't exactly go to college without a car, and I have to work to buy one, so that will be cool. I'll be getting a full time job when I get back from camp in August. I don't know where, but God has something picked out for me already, so I'll figure it out when it gets here. I am definitely still going into nursing, but I don't know if I'm going any further than just getting my associates degree in nursing....since I don't really want to specialize or work in a hospital, I don't know if I really want to go as far as getting a BSN....*shrug* I'll decide as God leads. I would really like to get some training in Christian counseling, as well. And, I hope maybe I'll get married in the next 5 years. =P I would like that. lol. I don't want to be an old maid! =P Not that once you get past 23 you're an old maid, but yeah. There's lots I'm praying about for the future, but bottom line, I want what God has for me, and I'm trusting him to lead me as I step out in faith and obedience.

9 days until I leave for Camp Sunrise!!! Guys I cannot tell you HOW excited I am!!! Summer is here, and I am going to be an assistant counselor for a week of jr. camp at Camp Sunrise. My best friend, Tay is ALSO going to be an assistant counselor, so we are going to spend a whole stinking week together! AH! I am SO so so so so very excited. In exactly a month I will be leaving to go to the WILDS Christian camp for 3 whole long, wonderful, stretching, amazing weeks!!! Oh man oh man. I am so excited. God has been nudging me about this summer, and oh I don't know what he has in store for me but I know it's going to be AMAZING. I am so excited about it I feel sick. =P

Work lately has been interesting. I thought I would be done working at the boy scout camp the 3rd weekend of May, but up until last weekend they kept me busy! I am officially done working there now, but God is still keeping me busy with babysitting and I'm also going in to work as a receptionist at Great Clips where my mom works for awhile. =) It's really exciting, God just keeps throwing things together.

Mid-may I hadn't any of the money I needed for camp, and I was getting a little worried. I prayed and asked God for 100 dollars before the end of May, or I was going to call and cancel my registration so someone else could go in my place. I was really second guessing myself, and praying. I was praying and talking to God... I was like, 'I really prayed about this, why isn't it working out? I told you, and you know that I only want your will - if you don't want me there, please let me know! I really thought you wanted me to go, and now it's looking like you might not provide, God, I need you to come through for me!" I really searched my heart and my motives - I did NOT want to just think God wanted me to go just because I wanted to, and it was kinda scary. God TOTALLY came through for me, though, and the confirmation was amazing.

So, my mom is buying a little white car from my grandparents. It's an old 1993 pontiac grand prix. It's great! I love it. However, I was driving home from babysitting at the church tuesday, and the alternator died. The car was running off the battery, and it freaked me out. Fortunately, and God totally worked this out, Daddy was coming through the same intersection I was at about thirty seconds behind me from a different direction, and he was able to get me home. We had to pull over and charge the battery back up some more....it actually died again in the driveway. I bought an alternator Wednesday (he went and got it, I payed for it. lol) and he put it in the car. Thursday I drove about an hour out to babysit for a couple at my church, and the car refused to idle. That was an adventure, especially when I drove the wrong way down the square, and couldn't get the car turned around. heh. SCARINESS. God totally protected me! Once I got to my destination I sat out in the car and finally got it to idle, and it has been doing just fine ever since.

SO, that has been my life lately. Sorry I haven't blogged in so long!
God is so good and he has taught me so much. Over the past 6 months he has transformed my mind. I now believe that I am holy, righteous, and beautiful. I am precious to my Jesus, and it is a beautiful privelege to be a Christian! Before I knew it all, but didn't grasp or really understand it. God has shown me some pain from the past that I haven't dealt with, and I was able to excersize forgiveness and let God heal the pain. As he brings things to the surface that I have shoved down and forgotten, I am learning to deal with them. Through this semester I realized that I was praying for God to HELP me trust him, but I didn't even know how! So I changed my prayer from HELP me to TEACH me to how to trust you God, I don't know how!!! He is teaching me so much!! He showed me that I didn't trust him with my heart -romantically- and I am learning to trust him in that area of my life as well, now. It's really astounding everything he has done in my life this year so far. I can't wait, He's been preparing me for something big this summer, or maybe this summer is the icing on the cake? What if it's just the tip of the iceberg? Hey, I'm ready! Bring it on. I just want to do my savior's will, and learn to love him more and glorify him!
He is GOOD!
<3
Laura

=)

2009-05-10T18:53:00.004-04:00

God is so good. I am so grateful for his work in my life. He has really been stretching me this semester, and as it has FLOWN by I have really been able to see His hand more clearly than ever before.

Right now I'm going through a huge putting-to-proof stage. I am really needy, financially, right now, and I am so having to trust God. I tithed this morning, even though I don't technically have the money to be tithing...... :\ I admit I struggle with being afraid that He's going to drop me and leave me here, and then I'll be sitting here looking like a poor fool for trusting that God was going to provide for me, and he didn't. I know he will, but the Tempter knows just where to 'press my button' and it is a struggle to fight him off. So often I don't realize where it is him.

I have been also struggling with staying in the Word lately, which isn't helping. The less truth I am absorbing, the easier it is to become blind to the lies.

- So, I was writing all that and talking to a friend, and I felt Jesus calling me to go spend some time with him. So, I ended my convos and grabbed my Bible and ran out to my happy place, which is where I always go to meet Jesus. My siblings aren't allowed to come down there and bother me. It's a really neat place, actually. Back in Winter 07 I was spending a lot of time teaching the kids and taking care of the house. It was pretty tough, and at times I just needed to get AWAY from the kids, or things would get ugly. There were three trees in the old dog pen, and someone had started building a tree house there, so I had Nicholas help me (Actually, I helped him ;] ) build a little 'happy place'. I have a triangular platform with rails on two of the sides, a good ways up in the tree...I guess about 6ish feet up in the tree. Just high enough, and not too high. Then I have a swing. =)
Anyway, so I ran out there and spent some time reading my Bible, and praying. Then I just spent some time being still and at peace (which is a big deal for me. =P I've not had much be still/peace time lately, which is my own fault).

I've spent a lot of time praying these past few days, which has been super refreshing. I love investing in my friends by praying for them. It's so cool! And I just love communing with God.

Anyway. God is good, life is stretching me, and I am ready for summer and to see what God is about to do!
<3
Laura

Under Construction

2009-04-19T13:51:00.003-04:00

So, I have a lot of thoughts running through my head, and I figured I'd write them out before I get to work on some homework.
First of all, today is Sunday. =) I love Sunday.
Friday and Saturday were just not cool...work and all.......
I taught on forgiveness in children's church this morning. We had several neat object lessons to illustrate forgiveness. I'll tell you about my favorite. Using my sisters oil pastels I drew(copied) a pretty picture of a mountain/lake sunset with beautiful trees. During the lesson I had my brother come and make a big black mark in the picture. I was "upset" but I "chose to forgive him" and then I illustrated how God takes bad things in our lives and makes them beautiful by drawing a beautiful tree in the picture out of the black mark. =)

I am so grateful for God's forgiveness in my life.

There are few things as amazing as long, soft, flowy skirts. =)

I'm learning an arrangement of The Old Rugged Cross, and it is beautiful. I am so grateful I can worship God by playing the piano. "The emblem of suffering and shame."
There are so many times, as I get older, that lines of hymns jump out at me, and for the first time I grasp what it really means. Learning them as a child I never really understood some stuff, and it became cliche. When I share the gospel, I often tell people how God solved our problem of sin by sending Jesus. I like to tell them how beautiful what he did for us was - he chose the most awful death to illustrate the most amazing love. And truly, it was a horrible, terrible death. The cross in my life stands for forgiveness, love, beauty, and points me to the man I love more than anything else - Jesus. That's not how it was during the time Jesus was crucified. The cross stood for shame, death, punishment, cruelty, and pain. The very emblem of suffering and shame. Realizing and grasping the truth is so important in life.

You know, it's funny, I keep realizing how backwards we are as humans. The things that God says for us to do to suceed are so backwards to us! The way I see myself is not who I am. I have a hard time accepting who God tells me I am, and that's because I think I am horrible. The truth is Christ saved me from my horribleness, and so I am in the process of renewing my mind through scripture, and removing the negative thought patterns/habits I've had. I put up scripture verses around my mirror and on my wall and make it a point to read them and say them aloud a few times a week at least. It is amazing! When I start getting angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared, upset, discouraged, anything, I go and read all my index cards.

I've been hungry lately. I keep thinking, hm. I want something...., so I go and get something to eat. (smart, right?) It's weird, because I don't normally eat a lot. Pastor said something this morning about spiritual hunger and thirst, and the Holy Spirit must have poked me then, because it dawned on me, I bet I've been so hungry because I'm hungering after the WORD, but I am mistaking it for physical hunger! I feel silly for not seeing that before, and I'm going to make it a point to go to the Word first, when I think I'm hungry, but am not really. (Funny thing, the food never really satisfied me.....I have still wanted something a lot of times, but wasn't sure what it was I wanted.)

I hugged a lot of people at church today, and their perfume and cologne is still lingering on my shirt. It's a little weird. =P

I was thinking about our society, and how we are taught to make wrong choices because we don't have to pay the consequences. You know, people choose to have sex before they are ready to have children, and they can just go get an abortion. That tiny baby has to bear the consequences of the parents mistake. How messed up. (Now, the parents have to carry the consequences of taking the life of an innocent human, but somehow that never catches up with a lot of people.)
I heard a commercial on the radio that screamed, "if you're in credit card debt, don't worry about it! The government is bailing everyone out, why not you too? Get out of paying off your debt!!!" I was shocked. It's a shame. However, God is still in control, and Christ will make all things right in the end.

Now it's time for me to go do my evangelism class homework. =)

<3

Beautiful??

2009-03-22T21:38:00.000-04:00

It has been a long week you guys. Drama drama drama, life is changing, God is changing me, and I'm just coming to realize a lot of things......
one of which being the fact that I have previously found my worth in the things I accomplish and how I look. That has made me so tired. I have been so driven to accomplish things the right way, and when I don't do it the way I think I should I get upset and discourage. When I don't look just right in an outfit, or have a bad hair/makeup day I just get in a bad mood.

I grasped last night that what I think isn't what I know. Like someone will ask, "what do you think?" and I'll respond with what I know to be the truth. But for some reason when it's just the thoughts in my head no one is asking to know, somehow, what I think is so far from what I know. And, I also realized that what I think is what makes me. Y'all, what I think is so messed up.

I have a hard time not focusing on my faults and failures, and just being down on myself in general. I was thinking about some stuff the other day and I was like, "psh. nothing like that would ever happen to me." and God kinda gave me a look and was like, "Um, you're talking to me, and I'm God. You are praying for this specific thing, and you're telling me that it can't ever happen to you because you're not worth it? First of all, I am GOD! Where is your faith? And, I made you! You are beautiful."
I was doing my devotions tonight, and it just hit me. I'm beautiful. That is profound. Like, not my looks, but me. Me beautiful??? Me. Beautiful. I really don't get it...but what Jesus tells me, I believe. And that makes me feel special. That I am beautiful. I've never really felt beautiful before.......not like this. I've known I looked pretty, or that I was a nice person and that people liked me, people have told me I'm beautiful, and I knew that Jesus loves me and thought I was beautiful (but that was not anything special because he thinks that about everyone). But this is much different. I am worth so much to Jesus, as a unique individual, and he loves me for my personality, my quirks, my flaws, me. This is such a different and wonderful feeling, to know and believe how much Jesus loves me! I don't know why I didn't ever see it like this before.

God is good. =) And he is changing me.

2009-02-23T09:08:00.000-05:00

I have always loved talking to Jesus. Prayer has been a part of my life I would not want to do without.
Right now God is teaching me how powerful prayer is. There is a point where you know something, and then a point where you understand it and your understanding of it becomes a part of who you are. That's where I am with prayer now. I am beginning to learn how powerful it is. I did a search for Bible verses that had any variation of the word, "pray", like, "pray, prayer, praying, prayed." Right now I've gone through any verses in the OT up to Nehemiah.
Why was Nehemiah able to rebuild the wall? Prayer He prayed constantly. Read the book of Nehemiah again, or if you haven't ever read it, read it!!! It's good! A beautiful display of God's forgiveness, and his great love and power.

It is SO HUGE that the God of Heaven would change something down here on earth just because I asked Him to! !!! Think about those little bitty organisms that you pretty much can't see. germs. whatever else is too small to see. In comparison with God, I am even less that a germ is in comparison with a human. I am nothing, and He is everything. And he changes things down here on earth just because I ask him to. Because I prayed, my life, and other's lives will be, and have been changed. I don't say that pridefully, just incredulously!

I can't quite list all the things I've prayed for lately and God has answered those prayers. Things as little as finding a lost pair of scissors, and things as big as Katie's chalk talk and Joe's job. Things like getting my school done on time, getting home safe in potentially terrible weather. Things like the power coming back on this morning. Things I haven't even completely prayed for, like getting a new piano student.I'll have half-prayer/thoughts about things like, "man. I really need some new clothes this season....", or, "it would be really nice to have some more piano students" and then within a week or so, God has provided!

As I was reading through the verses, I found this one, and it really stuck with me.

1Sa 12:23 Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way.

Sin, that he should cease to pray for them. Not even just sin against them, but sin against GOD. As the prophet, Samuel's intercession for the children of Israel was so important. He was a picture of Christ, and he brought those people before God in prayer when they had sinned, and asked God that they should be allowed to live.

Another verse that struck me was 1Ki 8:54. Now as Solomon finished offering all this prayer and plea to the LORD, he arose from before the altar of the LORD, where he had knelt with hands outstretched toward heaven.
There were actually a lot of verses so far that have mentioned the people who were praying having their hands stretched towards heaven, or the temple. I haven't figured the significance of the hands out yet, but I hope to figure it out soon. Any thoughts/verses on this are welcomed. =P

So, this was my Bible study this morning, and probably will be what I do for the next few days. I've got 289 verses on prayer to go through. =D

I'm really looking forward to being able to pray more effectively. Prayer without faith is not effective, and it is harder to have faith when you don't understand the true power of prayer.
Jas 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. Jas 1:6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. Jas 1:7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

If I pray without faith, I might as well not have prayed at all. But you know, I think the neat thing is that sometimes even when we pray without faith, our God is SO GOOD that he STILL answers those prayers. To have a God that answers faithless prayers, and prayers that we don't even take the time to pray, I'm just blown away. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. (Ps. 136:9)

I know now

2009-02-08T13:03:00.002-05:00

There were so many things I didn't know before about Jesus. I wanted to trust him and love him, but I didn't know how. I prayed for faith, love, trust, hope, and I waited, I watched, I lived.
I asked him to reveal himself to me, and teach me who he was. I never knew that He would ask me to go through such painful experiences. I never knew how sweet he was. I never knew who he was, until then.

He took me through the storms, and he is leading me now through a rough trail. It has been discouraging, and it will be, and there has been so much frustration and misunderstanding. Through it all he has revealed himself to me. I didn't know before, how to lay my burdens down, how to heal, how to trust, how to love . I'm still learning, but I do know now what it is like to give my burdens to him and to have peace. I know what it is to hurt and bleed, and have my savior pick me up, and heal me. I know what it is to trust that even though I feel like he's making things worse, he's working it out for my good! I know what it is to love Jesus, and to love others like HE loves them.

This past weekend I went with my college and career group at church to NC. We went skiing. It was so much fun. It was the neatest thing though, how God worked things out for me to go, and how encouraging it was. Being able to step out of life for a little while, just to have fun and laugh, and forget about everything else, it was what I needed.

I know what it's like to serve a God who deeply loves me, and it's indescribable. I beg him to never let me leave him, and for him to never leave me. If he ever left,....but I know he will NEVER leave me or forsake me, and that is a promise that totally transcends my human understanding and ability. He's so beautiful.

Balance

2009-01-20T08:16:00.002-05:00

God is so good, and I am so small. I am constantly amazed at his beautiful fluidity. He is so balanced, so constant, so the same. I change, oh so very much. Which, is a good and a bad thing! I don't want to stay the same, I want to become more like Christ. But in everyday life I change. I am happy one minute, depressed the next, calm on, angry the next, lazy one, motivated the next. One day I am beating myself up about how weak and small I am as a Christian, and another day I am praising God for this because it means He is glorified in me, as I go to the Cross and receive His grace and strength.

This morning I am getting ready to go to school, and I will be at school for a long day! If you read this today, please do say a prayer for me. The metal chairs at school are really uncomfortable for my back, and the long hours of concentration, well, my attention span isn't extremely long, and my dyslexia kicks in the longer I must force myself to focus. =P

I am praying that God will help me remember to seek His joy. I haven't had that joy for a week or so, I have been so worried about college and this semester, I've been so upset with myself for being such a failure and on top of that, NOT going to the Cross to receive grace and strength (and forgiveness!!!) He is so beautiful, and this Sunday he gave me a big hug, through the lessons, the music, everything. He's showing me that I am a hypocrite, even when I think I am not. It is so important to be on my knees and seek God fervently in prayer every day. I want to be like Jesus so much, and it is so hard, but so worth it.

<3 Laura

Romans 8:28

I know that God is working all things together for my good and his glory!

Every day life

2009-01-12T20:55:00.002-05:00

Well, living out the Christian life is so challenging sometimes! I'm currently stuck on chores. =)
I get frustrated that my siblings don't do what they're supposed to do, and are so resistant to doing the things that need to be done. It's super hard to let go of the frustration, and to let go of my right to only have to do my set chore, and not theirs, as well. It's so hard to be a servant and do and do and give and give, asking nothing in return. I've got to get this though, or my life will be miserable, and I will make a no-good missionary. Pray for me?

Sad Story at 5AM

2009-01-05T05:21:00.001-05:00

ou may wonder what in the world I thought I was doing online at 5 AM in the morning. I may be wondering the same thing myself. However, I have a very good reason. Let me tell you a story.

It all started Saturday, when I woke up feeling crummy. Well, Sunday, I woke up feeling even crummier, and around 12 PM I discovered that my temperature was a lovely 102 degrees fahrenheit. After tossing and turning all day, I had eventually coughed my poor throat into a terrible state. I took some sudafed 'severe cold' around 12 AM, and it put me to sleep quick, but there was a problem. I had also put on some hot water and made myself a cup of tea. It was much too hot to drink when I first poured it, besides, it needed to steep for a few minutes. I decided to lay down for a few minutes while I waited for my tea to cool of. A few minutes later I woke up, and was a little worried that I had slept too long, and my tea would be stone cold. Well, it was still a little too hot. Next time I woke up, however, it was 3 AM, not 12 anymore, and my tea was undoubtedly stone cold. I was really sad, but I was really sleepy. I rolled over, and slept again until I woke up at 5 because I've been coughing so bad. (And my medicine wore off.) I wanted some hot tea very badly, so here I am, waiting for my tea to cool, and occupying myself so that I do not go to sleep until I have had my cup of tea.

I have a lot to do this week, so if you guys could pray for me to get better soon, I would appreciate it very much.

What's in your heart?

2008-12-28T12:50:00.009-05:00

Luke 6:45
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

I wanted to begin this post with something witty, something intelligent, or something that at least sounded nice. I can't think of any good ways to start this though, so I'll just talk to you like we were talking in person. I want to talk about the way Christians talk. What kind of communication goes on when you get together with your Christian friends?

I've been in a few different youth groups, and I've been in a church without an official youth group, but youth group or no, I always get together with the people my age and talk. When I was 10-14 I talked about whatever was going on in my life. School, siblings, grandparents, etc. When I was 14 God called me to a personal relationship with Him, and that really did change my heart. I began to want to talk about Him and what He was doing for me, what He has done for others, what we can do through Him for others - He is my focus, and what I want to talk about. I was scared to talk about Him with my friends though. They were "Christians", but I was afraid they'd laugh at me or make fun of me for being a goody-goody little miss Jesus-girl. (Some of them already did, so why I was afraid of that, I'm not so sure.) Not long after that we went back to our old church, where I felt more comfortable (though not completely) talking about what was going on with me spiritually. I found out that my true friends didn't think it was odd of me to talk about those things, and that we all actually enjoyed the conversations about God, when they were brought up.

Getting older, going to a new church, getting to spend more time with friends I have become a little taken aback at the way our conversations tend to go, and not go. When we gather to learn about our savior,conversation rarely goes beyond, "Hi, how are you?" and "Oh, great. Not much going on!" Christians are a network of believers there to help each other grow and become more like Christ. It's okay, and good - at fitting times - to share your burdens, or just ask for prayer and a hug. It's always good to share what God is teaching you! More than likely you will end up encouraging the person you are talking to.

The thing that shocks me even more than the lack of depth in our conversation, however, is the amount of ridicule. One moment we're in Sunday School learning about the greatness of our God, and the next, cracking jokes at homosexuals, Mexicans, and Obama. Ephesians 5:4 says, "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving."

I admit, I am just as guilty of everything I am writing about today as my friends are. This is something God has been working in me about. Just because I'm not perfect at it though, doesn't mean I shouldn't share with you all what I am learning.

When we go to church, shouldn't we talk about the One in who's name we are gathered? Why do we end up talking about everything that doesn't matter, and making racist jokes, disrespecting our authorities, and laughing at sin? How can we laugh at what put Jesus on the cross?! What's the point in crude swear words, and why don't we understand the blasphemy in profaning God's name?

As I thought about all these things, talked to friends, and prayed, God showed me the issue isn't so much what we talk about, but the heart. I know what is in my friends hearts because of what they do and don't talk about, and the words they use, and that makes me sad. The Bible has a lot to say about how we talk.

Pro 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Col 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

So, your speech is a problem? What can you do about it? Get your heart right. If you recognize that there is a problem in the way you communicate and you really want to fix it, pray for God to change your heart. Take wrong thoughts captive through the power of God - the power that brought Christ out of the grip of death. Confess your sin to God and be willing and humble for him to change you, and he will!

So this may not be the most sophisticated, clear, coherent post in the world, but it has been on my heart. I'd like to see my "Christian" friends turn into friends with a passion for Jesus, -friends who don't find it strange that I always go back to one topic - God. I truly am tired of hearing jokes about Barack Obama, Mexicans, and gay people.

To disrespect Barack Obama is wrong. We are not called to agree with out authorities, but we are called to respect them, and to pray for them, and NOT to mock and ridicule them. How can we expect to show them the power of Christ if we act like the rest of the world?

So there are homosexuals and people of different skin color and culture in the world. Why do we make fun of their sin? How can we make fun, make light of sin? Why don't we focus on sharing the Light with them?

I challenge you to find ways to talk about God and make Him a totally relevant part of your life. I challenge you to see the error in the ugly jokes and leave them behind, instead, taking time with your friends to pray for our president-elect, and the sinners we live with. If we do this, we can rock your world and make a huge difference for Christ.

Cousin Fun

2008-12-26T22:14:00.002-05:00

Today was a long day. I sat with an elderly lady from around 10-6. I was really tired from yesterday, and battling a migraine. I watched 3 movies, and crocheted a good bit. I got home, tucked in the kids, and laid down the no giggling, no whispering, no talking rule. You see, my little cousins Sarah and Anna are sleeping over, while they are in town. I was stressed out from being tired, and no one would cooperate with bed-getting-ready rituals and what-not. I was thinking, "If they make another noise I am SO separating them!!" until I remembered what it's like to go to bed when your friends are with you. =) It is SO HARD not to giggle and talk the night away, and it's really really frustrating because you think of something you are going to say and then the moment before it comes out of your mouth - --- ! You're not allowed to talk! Augh! Good thing you remembered. =)
So, they just finished a 30 second spell of whispering/giggling, and I didn't bust them. They get to do this once a year.

Christmas is so sweet because we remember what Christ did for us, by coming to earth in the most horrible place - a stable!, and dying for us in the most horrible death - crucifixion, and the gift he has given us - eternal life. What wondrous love! And, in celebration of that, families come together and spend time with each other. That is sweet.

Hooray for siblings, cousins, grandparents - family! And Hallelujah to my sweet Jesus, who has given us eternal.

Life

2008-12-23T17:14:00.002-05:00

So, since I got on break, things have been soooo busy! That's okay, it's still all cool.

Lately I got depressed over some stuff. A lot of it had to do with the fact that I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough Christian to forgive the way I'm supposed to, I'm not good enough at this, or that, etc. Well, then I was thinking about it, and remembered that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in my weaknesses, and that I am to glory in my infirmities, because through them God is glorified!!! So, I'm happy again. =)

I got my teeth cleaned today. =P That's always nice. I am going to the orthodontist on the 7th of Jan. , and hopefully that day we can get some friends together to go see a movie. Funness!

15 Things, Grades, and a real post coming SOON I promise.

2008-12-10T22:07:00.002-05:00

So, I was tagged to list 15 things I am not afraid to say on my blog. I'm breaking the rules and not tagging anyone, but I am doing it! =P
1. I want to have 15 kids.
2. I want to get married.
3. I don't like dogs, or any other animals, really. I don't hate them, but I'd rather not be around them.
4.I got super attached to my aquarium fish, and cried when they died last year. (I love fish)
5. I don't really have any talents. (God has blessed me with a knack for the piano, but he kinda took that away.)
6.I have decided to quit drinking soda after Christmas. no soda for me in 2009. at all. not even a sip.
7. I tend to be super possessive and jealous of my friends.
8. I also tend to be a slob.
9. I'm super picky. I don't like onions, bell peppers, bananas, honey, root beer, sweet pickles, citrus fruits (like the juices, not the flesh), cherries, and lots of other things.
10. I'm not afraid to admit what I believe/think/feel about life.
11.I'm not as faithful to pray as I should be.
12. I am a people pleaser, and I criticize myself when I'm not as good at things as my mom and sister are.
13. when I'm with people I know I have to keep myself from talking way too much.
14. I do not like french.
15. I'm a bad photographer.
16. - for good measure. I'm super nosey.

Final Grades
English : 108% - Overall grade of 99%
Geometry B : 96% - Overall grade of 97%
Algebra 3 A : 102% - Overall grade of 96%
Chemistry B : 104% - Overall grade of 100%
U.S. History B : 106% - Overall grade of 98%
Spanish 1 B : 108% - Overall grade of 96%

What I've been up to

2008-12-06T22:06:00.002-05:00

So, stuff has been crazy!

Today I pushed around a mop for about 6 hours. Lately I've been waxing the floors, and it's been a real workout, pushing that mop! I end up using all my muscles. Waxing also involves moving around lots of furniture. Woohoo. So, I am super duper tired.

Yesterday we went to an awesomely fun party. I only have one picture, but it's lovely. I love my friends! I edited it. =)

There were a lot more interesting things I was going to say, but I am so tired I can not remember them. =) Goodnight!

2008-11-25T00:10:00.002-05:00

Two things God has taught me lately -

Live in the future. What's past is past; thank Him for it, enjoy the memories, and purpose to live life for today and rejoice in each day that God gives you.

I am not ugly, and I am beautiful because of Christ within me.
The other Wednesday I went to church on with practically no makeup. Just a touch of face powder to cover up some red spots from acne. No mascara, no blush, just lip balm and a little powder. I was SURE people were going to be saying, "OH you look so tired! Are you okay? Are you sick?!" But no one said a word. =P I actually looked just fine without any makeup on.
This past Sunday I looked pretty bad. My hair went totally flat, my makeup was weird, I had a couple of scabs on my face from some acne, it was just an off day. Normally I feel self-conscious and miserable, but I was like, "Ya know, Christ is my only true beauty, and I'm not ugly, even if I do look pretty bad. " So I just enjoyed my day and didn't worry about how I looked.

How to Win My Heart : Some girls turn their noses up at chocolate and flowers.

2008-11-20T10:49:00.003-05:00

However, I don't. =)
If you want to win my heart with chocolate, there are a few kinds of the best chocolate in the world, but there is one particular chocolate that I have only had twice in my life, and I will be absolutely in love with you if you buy it for me.

Guylian Chocolate Sea Shells.
Oh I can not tell you, these chocolates are heavenly. They taste SO yummy and the creaminess is exquisitely delicious.

Another chocolate that will win my heart - but not so easily - are Lindt Chocolate and White Chocolate truffles. These are the most delicious chocolates in the world, next to the Guylian shells.

I like flowers, too! I think the tradition of giving flowers with meanings is beautiful, so if you give me flowers, make sure it means something good.

And then who doesn't love silver jewelry? Anything small and delicate, maybe a small diamond somewhere in it. No gold. =P

So, this, is how anyone can go about winning my heart.
=D

(disclaimer : no, not seriously. but yes, I absolutely adore that chocolate and I will love you forever if you give some to me. lol)

Lala - a cool musical webby

2008-11-14T23:31:00.001-05:00

So, lala is my new best friend. Check it out!

2008-11-13T12:34:00.001-05:00

"Miss Stacy took all us girls who are in our teens down to the brook last Wednesday, and talked to us about it. She said we couldn't be too careful what habits we formed and what ideals we acquired in our teens, because by the time we were twenty our characters would be developed and the foundation laid for our whole future life. And she said if the foundation was shaky we could never build anything really worth while on it. Diana and I talked the matter over coming home from school. We felt extremely solemn, Marilla. And we decided that we would try to be very careful indeed and form respectable habits and learn all we could and be as sensible as possible, so that by the time we were twenty our characters would be properly developed. It's perfectly appalling to think of being twenty, Marilla. It sounds so fearfully old and grown up." - Anne Shirley

So, my "life theme" for Summer 08 and being 18 is "Grow Up" to put it simply. Over the Summer I did a ton of Bible reading trying to finish reading it ALL the way through. I got so burnt out that By September when school really started getting more intense I just flopped and kinda ..quit everything. One of the things I have done in my campaign for "growing up" is start pursuing evangelism. I am going to be a missionary, and I am going to start that NOW. And then being a good active role model to younger girls is something I've been working on, too. Concluding that Africa is definitely where God wants me is another one of the steps I've taken.
My next big step is to form consistent habits.
I'm trying to get realistic about having a real, consistent life in God's Word, consistent prayer life, and waaaaay less consistent computer life.

You guys, that is HARD!!!

I've enlisted a couple friends and Caiti to call me out when I'm on the computer too much. I'm going to start really being accountable to Tay again (things simmer out so gradually sometimes you forget they ever existed).

I want to establish good life habits by the time college gets here, and I graduate this May. So, 18 is my designated year for habit and character development. Actually, habit will automatically flow to character, because when I get my habits straight (reading God's Word, memorizing and meditating, and praying) that totally changes my character. I need this. It is so easy to sit down and look at all the what-if's and then totally get flung further off track. What if I don't get married before I go to Africa? What if I don't go until I'm 40? What if I don't make a good mom! (Okay, so I plan on going and working in an orphanage. I don't think bad moms would do so good at that!) What if I really am stupid? What if I really am ugly? But it doesn't matter if I will make a good mom and if I am stupid and if I am ugly, because when Jesus Christ shines through me I will become the best mom I can ever be, the most brilliant I can ever be, and the most beautiful I can ever be. I need God's Word to totally transform my mind because I really do struggle with the whole "I'm not good enough" thing. It makes me feel stupid to admit that I struggle with it because it seems like everybody in the whole word struggles with it and I'M a mature, wonderful Christian so I shouldn't, and I feel even more like a failure. *pride alert*
*augh*

I can do all things through Jesus who strengthens me.
I can be consistent in reading/memorizing/meditat

ing/chores/school/praying
I can be a good mom (okay, yes, it is one of my biggest fears in life that I'm gonna be a horrible mom! even though I want to have like 15 kids.....maybe Satan knows it's crucial for me to be a good mom in the future and is trying to scare me and whatever....)
I can be really and truly intelligent
and, I can be beautiful.

Now unto him who is able to do far more abundantly than all I could ask or think, according to the power that works in me, to HIM be glory forever and ever.

100 Things and Africa

2008-11-10T11:53:00.002-05:00

1. last beverage→ Ummm...water last night
2. last phone call→ Kim - my piano student's mom
3. last text message → I don't txt
4. last song listened to→ Ave Maria
5. last time you cried→ yesterday when we sang "lead me Lord" in church
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. dated someone twice→ never dated
2. been cheated on?→ no
3. kissed someone & regretted it? → maybe when kissing a sticky, gross toddler
4. lost someone special?→ Yes
5. been depressed? yes
6. been drunk and threw up?→ haha uh no. don't ever plan on it
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
Blue!
Teal
Red
THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Made a new friend → no
2. Fallen out of love → no
3. Laughed until you cried → YES!
4. Met someone who changed your life → Um, not this month
5. Found out who your true friends were → I've always known
6. Found out someone was talking about you→ yes =P
7. Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list→ don't have a friends list around here really
8. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → umm n/a
9. How many kids do you want to have→ either 5 or 15. Probaby 15
11. Do you want to change your name → Not at all. until I get married and my last name changes. that'll be fine.
12. What did you do for your last birthday→ went and visited all my friends at my old church
13. what time did you wake up today → 9:30
14. What were you doing at midnight last night → Um. dunno.
15. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Thanksgiving!!!!!!I get a break from school!!!
1 6. Last time you saw your father → last night
17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → I wish my right hand wwasn't messed up
18. What are you listening to right now → my mom and sisters listening to Christmas Music
19. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → yeah our next door neighbor was Tom
20. Who's getting on your nerves right now → no one
21. Most visited webpage → facebook, gmail,

001. Whats your fulll name → I don't have a fulll name.
002. Nicknames → tons.
003. Status? "Laura is going to watch Mr. Imperium again soon"
004. Zodiac sign → don't observe horoscopes
006. Elementary → Homeschool
007. Middle School? Homeschool
008. Highschool → homeschool and Faith Academy
010. Hair color → Brown
011. Long or short --> longish
012. Are you health freak → no
016. Height → 5'4.5"
017. Do you like someone → I LOVE a lot of people
018. What do you like about yourself →the fact that Christ lives in me, and I like my eyes. lol
019. Piercings → ears
020. Tattoos → no
021. Righty or lefty → Right
FIRSTS :
022. First surgery →wisdom teeth
023. First piercing → earrings..I was 8
025. First award → haha probably an AWANAs award
026. First sport you joined → none
027. First pet → a gerbil I think
028. First vacation→ florida, I think
029. First concert → the Christmas concerts my best friend does
030. First crush → oh boy. there was an adorable little boy at church named tyler, and I'm positive he thought I was cute, too. Word was he said he wanted to marry me when we grew up.
CURRENTLY :
049. Eating → nothing
050. Drinking → nothing
052. I'm about to → answer this question.
055. Waiting for → nothing....
YOUR FUTURE :
058. Want kids? absolutely
059. Want to get married? most definitely
060. Careers in mind? Yes =P
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
069. Hugs or kisses → Hugs!
070. Shorter or taller → Taller, most definitely
071. Older or Younger→ doesn't really matter
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Both!
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Haha, both. =D
074. Sensitive or loud → good grief ...someone who can be sensitive, and someone who can be loud. whichever the situation calls for. not loud as in obnoxious though.
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship duh
077. Trouble maker or hesitant→ um. neither.
HAVE YOU EVER :
078. Kissed a stranger → no
080. Lost glasses/contacts → no
081. Ran away from home → I have gotten to the edge of the woods before, but not really.
084. Broken someone's heart → Afraid so. =P Hopefully not seriously, though.
085. Been arrested → no
086. Turned someone down → pretty much, yeah.
087. Cried when someone died → Yes
088. Liked a guy/girl friend → duh if I didn't like them they wouldn't be my friends
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me
090. Miracles → totally
091. Love at first sight → infatuation
092. Heaven → Yes
093. Santa Claus → heh, no, sorry
095. Kiss on the first date → nopers
096. Angels → absolutely
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? not in the way this stupid questionnaire is asking.
098. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? Never had a boyfriend (thank goodness)
099. Do you believe in God? with all my heart
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? No

So, for all you who haven't figured this out from my status message, or want to know more about it, I'm going to be a missionary to Africa. My dream is to be a nurse/music teacher/counselor in an orphanage.

It's a bit of a long story. I'll see if I can start from the beginning and keep things coherent and in order.
When I was 5 I received the gift of eternal life. When I was 8 I started reading a missionary biography of Gladys Aylward. I read that book over and over and over. I thought it would be so amazing if I could be a missionary one day. Then one day at the Turner's house I started reading the Cherry Ames books. =) The Turner's had a magnificent library, and they let me borrow their books. That was when I decided it would be amazingly cool to be a nurse. I was afraid it was just some phase I was going through, because everyone goes through "phases" of wanting to be a ballerina, actress, nurse, vet, etc. SO, I was fiercely determined that my desire to be a nurse was NOT going to be a phase. I don't think I really needed to worry about that, though. My dream of being a nurse has stuck quite fast.
When I was around 14 years old I finally found assurance that I was saved, and someone told me that Jesus should be my identity - something I hadn't realized or thought of before. I was amazing to experience how Jesus became a reality to me. After my family came to the church we're at now, Belmont, God showed me that He wanted me to be a nurse. It was like He told me, "You want to be a nurse because I want you to be a nurse." That was an amazing thing to me. At the time my biggest fear in life was that I'd wreck things because I didn't know for sure what God wanted me to do. Someone had told me that if we give God our lives, then HE will give us dreams. Special dreams - dreams that are His plans for us. I've found this to be so true.
The thought of being a missionary has stuck with me. It's always been something back there in my head. Pastor Jackson preached a sermon sometime in early/mid 07, I believe, and in the invitation he talked about how God was asking us if we would go serve Him. God clearly asked me, "Will you go?" and I told Him, "Yes, Lord, I'll go! I want to go! I'd be devastated if you didn't let me go."
I asked some of my friends, "So, if I were to ever be a missionary, where do you think I might go?" and most of them said Africa. I'd had Africa in the back of my mind, but I had never mentioned it to any of these friends, so it was pretty funny to me when they all said the same thing. Caiti said China, maybe. Most of my heroes were missionaries to China and I have been afraid that God would send me there. I'm willing to go there, but its not something I'm dying to do. =P

Recently I've been learning Spanish, and it's an amazing language! I totally fell in love with it, and at some point I want to go to Mexico and become fluent. So, that made me wonder, does God want me somewhere like Mexico, or Peru, or Guatemala?
Before I was sure about missions I thought a lot about being a level 3 neonatal nurse(one of the nurses that takes care of the youngest, smallest, sickest newborns). I just love little babies- they're so sweet and miraculous- and what an amazing job that would be. It would be tragic, so many of the babies die, but I would have the chance of sharing my hope with parents who had no hope, or being an encouragement to the parents who did have the hope of Christ. However, if I stay in the United States I want to have a family and homeschool my kids, and I can't have a career and a family.
So, I've been rolling all these ideas around in my head and finally I just said, "Ya know what, I've gotta get this straightened out!" and last week I spent a lot of time praying about it. Obviously He said yes to Africa.

Now I'm just working on finishing highschool (oh this is taking forever!) so I can go to college. I want to get my bachelor's degree in nursing, and get some instruction on music teaching and counseling. I already teach some music, but I could definitely stand to be taught how to do it better. As far as counseling, well, that's a big thing and I definitely need teaching on that one.

So there it is. =) I can't wait to see where in Africa, when I get to go, and who I go with. =P (I'm not going single, that's for sure. First of all I don't think my Dad would let me, and second, well, I'm far too independent to go alone.)

God is good!

2008-11-07T23:24:00.003-05:00

So, I've been praying about two things this week. 1, whether or not to send in an application to CIT, and 2, whether or not God wants me to be a missionary specifically in Africa.
Well, He does want me to send in my application, and
this is the exciting one
He wants me in AFRICA!!!!!
I was praying, "God, I want to go to Africa, but, I want to go where YOU want me to go." It was as if He replied, "Laura, I gave you this dream. I want you to go to Africa. "
So, it's good on all parts. I do what God wants me to do, I get to do what I want to do, and I get to help other people find Christ!

So yeah, things are very cool. =)

So, it's been awhile

2008-11-01T16:42:00.002-04:00

And now it's November. Tomorrow I am going to cast my vote for our next president.

The month of October was crazy busy, and I ended up coming down with the cold that everyone has been passing around. It pretty much ruined the last week of my life. I've struggled to stay on top of my homework and work. I have a lot of school to do Monday and Tuesday, but if I work really hard Monday I should be able to get it all.

Church yesterday was really good. It was good to be back at church. Singing was a bit hard because my throat is al messed up, but it was still fun.

I've discovered the joy of tithing. I never really LOVED tithing before, but it was something I always did. I had to, and I didn't dislike it, but I didn't like it. It was a duty before God, so I did it. Well, I don't know when the change came, but now I love to tithe. I just love it! It gives me so much joy.

I'm getting back into the Word, and getting that real connection with God. From Monday- Friday I am really seeking God's leading on two different things, and so I am going to be really praying and listening for His heart each night, as well as doing a fast. I won't be drinking anything at all but water for this time period. No coffee, no hot tea, no hot cocoa, no soda, no iced tea, just water.

I got my application for Summer camp at the Wilds! I have to fill it out and get my mom to sign it, and write the check, and give it to Bro. Johnny( my youth pastor).
The week we are going we'll be hearing Rand Hummel speak! YAY! I am super excited. He is such a good preacher, with such a passion for young people. I love listening to speakers whose heart is to lead young people to Christ -not just in salvation, but in ever day life. It makes me feel like I have worth when they show how much they care by giving their lives to help me and my generation.

God is good!
10 things I am thankful for
Warm socks
beautiful trees
amazing friends!
good food
education
God's provision
the Bible
humor(you know how boring life would be without humor?)
my grandparents
Health!

-Laura

All things work together for good, to them that love God, and are called according to His purpose

2008-10-13T10:13:00.003-04:00

I was thinking yesterday, about how all things work together for good in my life. God has promised me this.
Later in the day I was thinking about life. Different circumstances bring different emotions; emotions that sometimes I wish I didn't feel. My heart is so fickle, and so hypocritical. I have a tendency to beat myself up for things I've done/am doing wrong. God has been reminding me that I am only human, and I can only be righteous because of him. He also reminded me that whatever my emotions are at any given time, they can be changed for His glory.
That goes for everything! Whatever my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs, my foundations, friends, habits, whatever anything is at any given time, for any amount of time, because my God is good, he will either change it, or give me the grace to change it for his glory and for my good! Wow!

One of the things I'm really needing to work on is beating myself up for things, and making/letting myself feel stupid for small things that I have a hard time controlling (for example, dyslexic mistakes in math), or even things like making a mistake when I'm playing the piano. Somehow I've trained my brain to automatically respond with a rather belittling, "Idiot!" when I mess up. As you can imagine that does NOT help me concentrate on doing better, or glorifying God through all my work. I don't exactly know how to go about fixing this problem, though.

On a happier note, I've been doing much better in devotions lately! I've been reading my Spanish Bible a lot. I'll pick it up, open up to a familiar passage like, a Psalm, or James, or something like that. I'll read one verse, try to understand it, and whip out my Spanish-English dictionary, and try and put all the pieces together. Once I have it all together then I will read the English, and it is phenomenal to see the meaning fall together. I absolutely love the Spanish language. I seriously want to go to Mexico for a few months. I'd like to be there long enough to become fluent in the language. =P

I wanted to go to a John Regier conference at my church this week. It should be good. (We're not going, though.) One of these days I'd love to get training to be a counselor. If I could get my R.N., training in counseling and learn a little child psychology to help me in my counseling, well, there we go. I can go be a nurse/piano teacher/counselor at an orphanage for the rest of my life. =P I don't know if that's really what God wants me to do or not, but it's a good dream. =)

-Loshie

2008-10-09T11:00:00.002-04:00

English - 94
Geometry - 96
Algebra 3/Trig - 90
Chemistry - 93
U.S. History - 94
Spanish - 92

So, this is my report card, so far. After 7 graded weeks of school, and midterms in English and History. It's looking like my extra credit will end up going to Algebra. I really need to work on bringing that up. Spanish will come up when I have my midterm/final, and so will Chemistry. Actually, I think everything except for possibly the maths will come up with midterms/finals. I have math/science midterms the end of this month. I have completed all of week 8, but none of it has been graded yet. I'm going to turn in over half of week 9 today. =) Yay! Normally I wouldn't turn in week 9 until next Tuesday. I'm going to pick up week 10 today, if I can. I think I can. Not quite sure. =)

I've been tagged - Priorities

2008-10-02T21:09:00.003-04:00

I was tagged by a blogging friend of mine, and I'm not following all the rules, or tagging anyone. (sorry!)
Six Random Things about Me
1. People have said I remind them of a bird.
2. I love to jump rope.
3. I plan on getting my R.N.
4. I'm eating yogurt
5. my favorite color is blue. Sky blue, deep blue, ocean blue, jewel blue, royal blue, light blue, baby blue, teal-blue, etc.
6. I want to visit Mexico, Italy, Rome, and Africa
7. I hate bananas

I was doing my English homework today and had to write a poem - this is what came out:

Piano
Ivory keys, ebony souls
Deep and striking. Each one's role
Vital. Lightly haunting,
Dark, they go. Taunting
Now, gleeful next. Manipulated
Abbreviated, belated, concatenated
At the whim of him
Who plays the song.

I really like it! Normally I dislike the results of my poet-ical efforts. =P My favorite line is, "Manipulated, abbreviated, belated, concatenated....." I didn't know "concatenated" was a word before today, when I was searching for "-ated" words. It means to connect or link in a series or chain. I thought it was perfect for the context of the poem, because the word has a wonderful sound to it, and the meaning is just perfect for the poem.

In youth group lately we've talked a lot about priorities. I have to work on keeping mine straight, and pulling God back to the top. Devotions are getting back to where they belong. I'm gonna start working on a Titus study I have. =)

In other news, life is good! =P

-Loshie <3

Spending Time With Jesus

2008-10-01T12:29:00.003-04:00

Last night I was talking to some people online, and had this sudden urge just to go spend some time with Jesus. So, I got offline, and read the first 8 chapters of Acts. It's just neat to see how Jesus changed so many lives.
It's an amazing thing to know that wherever I go, whatever I do, Jesus is right there urging me to follow him.
It's so assuring to know that even when I have trouble being consistent to spend time with him, he's always the same. What is sad is when I lose the benefits I could have from spending time with him.
I am really trying to get back into the Word! Pray for me as I really work on this.
<3

:EDIT:
Leave your name and :
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your own blog

Ownership

2008-09-26T17:44:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow I think I will take the camera to work and get some pictures of me and Nicholas and the beautiful camp I am working on. =)

There's this amazing thing that happens when I become familiar with a place. First, you walk in, and you see it for the first time. Then, you look around, and get familiar with it, Then, you clean it. You get to know every nook and cranny while sweeping, dusting, wiping, brushing, polishing. You know every little detail of it. It is now a part of you - you own it.

Or at least, that's how I feel about the places I clean. It's just cool. I guess it's just what comes naturally when you put time and effort into something, and when you really do care if a place is kept nice.

I'm hungry!
<3
Taste and see that the Lord is good. =)
Loshie

A good night of sleep works wonders

2008-09-25T11:02:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was just a bad day. It just was. I had to tell Mrs. Amy that I can't work for her anymore, until I'm driving.
Mrs. Amy is my mentor. I used to take piano lessons from her. I've been working for her since I was 13. So, that was disappointing. I mean, who knows how long it will be until I can drive?
I ended up not getting home until 6 yesterday, and we were supposed to leave at 6. =P We were late to get to church, but it was okay. Fortunately my hair did right for me. I threw it up all wet in a ponytail and fixed it kinda curly with mousse on the way to church. =D
Once we got home last night I ate some popcorn and went to sleep. I love going to bed! I slept a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful 10 hours. My body is thanking me for it this morning! Some people can go 48 hours without sleep. I can't even go 24, without some serious physical consequences for the next week. When I don't get 10 hours of sleep every night, I'll be fine, but I can tell. So, when I don't get to catch up and get 10 hours once or twice a week, things start going downhill. My dyslexic tendencies really flare up. =P It can be amusing, and annoying.

Today I need to deep clean the bathrooms and the floors, clean my room, pull out my winter clothes, and do half of my algebra homework, all of my Spanish homework, and start on my English homework.

Man. I was just going to eat some leftover mashed potatoes for lunch, but there are none. :( I'm so sad! :( Oh well. I'll live.

Happiness is: sleeping with 5 blankets and 5 pillows
warm, cozy mickey mouse sweatshirts
comfy blue jeans
cozy warm socks
scarves!

Okay, so it doesn't get THAT cold in the south, but I'm always cold, so when it gets cold outside I freeze.

Toodles!

What do you do?

2008-09-21T20:17:00.004-04:00

Dear Readers,
I have a question for you all, something I really want you to answer. If you read this, even just in passing, or a quick read through, give me some feedback!

In every family, there tends to be that one person that you just don't find a middle ground with. Either they're wrong, or you're wrong, and most of the time you're wrong. =) You try and try to please them, to find that ever elusive middle ground. It frustrates you and you don't know what to do, so you try talking to them. Bad idea! So, all that's left to do is keep on trucking. Just keep on keeping on keeping on. You forgive, and forgive, and forgive. You love, even when you do not want to, because we only love others because of Christ in them - and they only love us because of Christ in us.

How do you cope with that? How do you find encouragement in that situation? The frustration and the discouragement of meeting criticism at every corner when you're desperately trying to please is withering! It can make a girl just want to give up and cry, be upset and GROUCHY all day long.

Or maybe it's not even a close family member, maybe it's just someone in your life that you just have to learn to deal with, without a "resolve". What helps you "just deal", and still thrive?

Frustration

2008-09-13T21:55:00.004-04:00

I've been struggling in one particular area of my life for three years now. Three long, hard years. It seems really small, but the issues beneath the surface are anything but small.

When I was 15 I was so excited about driving. My parents, however, weren't planning on my driving any time soon. 2 months after my birthday I got my permit, but barely used it. (Nov. 05) Then, in an accident, my mom failed to turn in the home school attendance records on time, and our social worker failed to remind her -twice-, so my permit was suspended for a year on the grounds that I had dropped out of school. (preposterous, right? I thought so, too.) That was March 06.
So, in March 07, I got my permit back! I was overjoyed, but once again, I didn't get to drive much at all. I really, really wanted to, and I was very impatient. Then I was supposed to go to my Aunt's house in the fall, but that trip got ruined, and my mom promised (before we were sure if it would work out or not) that if it didn't work, we would get my driver's license before my permit expired that November. Well, I didn't go on the trip, and I didn't get my driver's license. I guess my mom forgot. I don't really know what happened, but I struggled with that for quite awhile.
In Feb. 08 I had my permit renewed, and I have had a good bit of driving practice since then, but not nearly enough to be ready for a driver's test. The Spring semester of this year, I was very anxious to get my license so I could drive myself to school and work. I had been getting up at 4 AM to go to work with my dad in the mornings (he dropped me off at my former piano teacher's house where I clean, and I would go back to sleep until 8:30), and working out a schedule for school and needing a driver was frustrating for everyone. I prayed about things and surrendered it to God, and he worked things out. So I've tried to sit tight for the most part, and not ask to drive too often.
A lot of things have changed, and I have to be dropped off at work instead of going with my dad (but my dad still picks me up on the way home), I have to be dropped off and picked up from a new job, and school. Now I have become a burden to my older sister, because she's ended up bearing the responsibility of chauffeuring me around. So, here in September 08, 3 years down the road, I am still struggling with this whole driving thing. (Rather, not-driving thing.) I want to learn from it, and I am trying, truly I am, but I am tired. Having a battle with something for three years is not something I enjoy. For now the battle-strategy is to continue praying about it, confessing wrong attitudes about it, ask God to show me what he wants me to learn from it, and keep on sticking it out.

Another thing I continue to struggle with is my independent streak. (Whatever it's labeled as, pretty much it's just plain sin: pride and selfishness.) I have a lot of goals that I want to accomplish, and a lot of obligations at the present, so it's very inconvenient to have to rely on my family to take me places(tying in with driving frustration), and it's also very inconvenient to be part of a large family who need my help, support, and cooperation. All they ask of me is that I keep the bathrooms and floors clean(tomorrow's project). Lately I've been really having to work to keep my attitudes to my parents in the right place. I want to be a submissive, gentle, helpful daughter. Instead I am proud, unkind, and not helpful - and even if I am helpful, not in the right way.

I'm just generally frustrated because even though I've seen a lot of personal growth lately, it's never over. For as long as I serve my Jesus on this sin-cursed earth in this sin-cursed body, I will be struggling with sin. The encouraging thing to know is that I can always progress, and that Jesus will ALWAYS give me the grace I need to move forward. I only have to step out in faith and follow him.

<3 Loshie

Goals

2008-09-08T12:00:00.003-04:00

Today I am 18. Wow. I'm really getting older! It's really tempting to worry about how life will go, as I get older. The topic of my goals after graduation has come up recently. I had to write a short essay for an English exercise about my goals after I graduate from Faith Academy.

The gist of what I wrote was, " I plan on going to college and getting my bachelor's degree in nursing, and I want to go on a missions trip Summer '10. Further than that, I don't know what God has in store for me, but I'm willing to follow whenever, wherever. "

There are so many things I want to do, but really my only goal is to follow the path of life He shows me. (Psalm 16:11)
I know I'm called to some sort of mission...God has called me to be a "fisher-woman", and yes I know all Christians are supposed to evangelize, but God personally called me to follow him in this area. I also know that I am supposed to become an R.N. Getting a bachelors degree in nursing means four years of school. !!!!
I want to work with kids at some point, in an orphanage. I'm really praying about going to the Uzima Children's Center in Nairobi, Kenya for a month or two in Summer '10. I think it would be amazing to go to Mexico in '11. I love the Spanish language.
I want to be a neonatal nurse. It would be absolutely amazing to be a nurse taking care of sick little babies who might die, and get the change to be a witness to the dear soul's parents. They might not have hope, but I do and I could share it with them! And if they did have hope in Christ, I could encourage them. Wow. That would make it worth it, even if I had to deal with some of the little ones I took care of dying.
I want to learn some child/young-teen psychology and counseling stuff. This would probably take years of schooling, too.
And then, of course, I'm not against the idea of getting married one day. =P Still, I'm not so sure about the whole raising kids thing. All I know is I'm glad that that isn't my place in life right now, because I certainly couldn't do it! =P Watching my mom home school my siblings is scary. Besides for the whole "being a mom is a biiiiiig responsibility thing" and being afraid that I'd totally mess up my kids (as if I were the one who would make them good???), it would also be really amazing to have kids. Just, not too many, and not too close together.
I'd like to stay involved with music. Teaching, singing....maybe one day playing again to my full capability.

There are so many possibilities, so many choices, so many roads! I am infinitely glad that I have a Father who has chosen one road for me. Even though I can't see down that road, I can see him, and I'm going to follow him down that road. I don't have to worry about what I'm going to do, or where I'm going to school, or what occupation to choose, whether or not I should get married or stay single, how I could ever raise children, etc. He has it all planned out for me, and all I have to do is trust him, step out, and follow! wow.

Some of my favorite verses about God's plan for my life:

Psalm 16:11Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Psalm 25:5&6 Shew me thy ways, O LORD; teach me thy paths.
Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.
Psalm 27:4,5,8,11,14
One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path,.... Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
37:4&5
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Isaiah 55 - this WHOLE chapter is absolutely amazing.

Here are some pictures of me and my dear accountability partner, Taylor.

Being ReTarDed

View The Rest Here - as well as some pics of my siblings

God is good.
<3 Loshie

Busy, busy, busy!

2008-09-04T09:15:00.002-04:00

This Summer and this last year of high school I decided I wanted to grow up. Find ways to become more mature. Well, I have a pretty specific goal now, and that is to work on time management. I'm doing something every day of the week now, I think. It depends on if I get the weekend job, and what days I can do that on, if I get it.

Monday I have to teach piano.
Tuesday I am at school for most of the day.
Wednesday I'm at church for a few hours.
Thursday - Friday - Saturday are the days for working at Mrs. Amy's, and the weekend job. We'll see how that all works out.
Sunday is church. =)

One of my students referred a couple other kids to me, so hopefully I will get some more students. If I do, I will teach them Tuesdays, at my church. My church is just a minute down the road from my school.

Last night on the way home from church I was listening to this song,

Jesus, King of angels, heaven's light,
Shine Your face upon this house tonight.
Let no evil come into my dreams;
Light of heaven, keep me in Your peace.

Remind me how You made dark spirits flee, And spoke Your power to the raging sea.
And spoke Your mercy to a sinful man;
Remind me, Jesus, this is what I am.

CHORUS:
The universe is vast beyond the stars,
But You are mindful when the sparrow falls, And mindful of the anxious thoughts That find me, surround me, and bind me . . . .

With all my heart I love You, Sovereign Lord.
Tomorrow, let me love You even more.
And rise to speak the goodness of Your name Until I close my eyes and sleep again.

CHORUS

Jesus, King of angels, heaven's light,
Hold my hand and keep me through this night.

and I have heard it many times, but never listened to the words. I was blown away when I listened to the words.

Just within the past month or two I've had trouble with nightmares, and then very distinctly felt an evil presence once. For awhile I worried about finances and how things were going to go this semester. So, this song just really encouraged my heart.

God is good!!!

Rebeultionaries don't just grow, they produce fruit!

2008-08-30T16:36:00.005-04:00

The life of a tomatillo

It starts out as a beautiful little blossom

grows into a baby lantern
then into a big lanternand then before you know it, you have a million huge lanterns.These are the two plants in rocky soil, and they have around 50 tomatillos now.

And this is the two plants in the good soil. I don't believe it has any tomatillos, at the moment.

Last night I went outside to look at some of my plants, and God showed me a very practical spiritual analogy.

I have four tomatillo plants. Two of them are in a planter box full of good, moist soil, with some tomatoes. Two of them are in a little garden I have. It's an oval shaped bit of ground, outlined with rocks. The soil is rocky, dry, and about a foot deep into the ground there is a huge boulder. There are a few little, scrawny irises in the garden with the tomatillos.

The tomatillo plants in the good soil took off when I planted them. They have grown to a humongous size and have just engulfed the tomato plants they are with. There are bunches of the beautiful, little yellow flowers, yet few of them produce fruit. The few tomatillos I have gotten from the plant have been teeny-tiny.

The plants in the rocky soil took a long time to get big at all. They are still a nice, moderate size, and there are a nice, moderate amount of blossoms. Most of these blossoms, however, are turning into fruit! To my great surprise, the fruit is growing quit large. The papery, green lanterns the tomatillos grow in are a good 3 inches around. There are at least 6 big lanterns, and over 15 smaller ones. I can't wait to harvest the first batch of tomatillos! Then I will get Mama to buy some cilantro, limes, and jalapenos, and we will make salsa verde.

The plants in good soil made me think of the way we Christians tend to be. When we have a good life - lots of friends, money, a good home, a good church - just a good life, we forget to focus on what really matters. Often times we spread ourselves around, hurrying and scurrying everywhere but rarely getting anything truly important done. We may do a lot of little nice things, and occasionally we put forth some effort and accomplish something.

Let me show you how the picture I just gave you would look in my life.
Sunday I go to church, talk with friends, come home, eat, take a nap, browse around online, go back to church, practice with the choir, shake a few hands, jot down a few "fill-in-the-blank notes", come home, and go to bed. Monday I do some school, read a quick Proverb, do my school, do chores. Tuesday I go to school, don't really acknowledge the other kids at school, come home, eat supper, clean up, go to bed. Wednesday, Proverb, school, get ready for church, teach Natalie her piano lesson, rattle off a few verses to keep on the Gold status in my youth group, talk to a few friends, play a game, jot a few notes from the devotion, go home, go to bed. Thursday, and Friday are just like Mondays. Saturday I sleep in, get up, read a Proverb, don't do anything of importance, just whatever is on my agenda for the week.

So I'm involved in church, and I read a Proverb every day. I go to school and have a good reputation - I don't let other's cheat off my answers, and I don't curse. I'm nice to people, and everybody likes me. That's a pretty good life, right?

What if it could be SO MUCH better that that?!

The plants in rocky soil made me think of how Christ wants us to be. Life is hardly ever peaches and cream. Too often there isn't much to go on - finances are tight, friends are scarce, church isn't the best, and health is poor. What should we do? Dig deep anyway! Reach, reach down into the Word and find energy to grow. No matter what circumstances are around us God has given us the grace to grow! Don't do as much, but do what matters and accomplish great things!

Now I will show you what this picture would look like in my life.

Sunday I take in all I can from the sermon and worship, and find practical ways to apply it to my life. Monday I dig into Proverbs, apply it, diligently do my school, help with chores, spend time with siblings. Tuesday at school I make it a point to speak encouraging words to those around me, help anyone I can, and be aware not to miss any opportunities for sharing Christ. Wednesday I don't just quote my verses for the sake of my status in the youth group, but because I love to hide God's word in my heart. I spend time making the new kids in the youth group feel special and loved, as they are, and encourage them to be godly. During the week instead of wasting my time away, I spend it wisely on school, Bible memory and reading, and doing the things a daughter and sister should do. I make goals for personal growth and stick to them. I purpose to find ways to become more like Christ, and share him with those around me.

So I produce the fruit of the Spirit.

This is a convicting post to write!

So, anyway, that was my little spiritual revelation.

God is good!

<3

A sobering realization

2008-08-26T07:50:00.002-04:00

Pro 26:12
Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Wow. The significance of this is astounding. Reading through Proverbs you get a good picture of a fool, and it's not pretty at all. If you asked me what I thought about the fool in Proverbs, I might tell you, "Oh, yeah. Wow. Um, there's pretty much nothing you can do for him. No hope there!" Right here Solomon tells us that there is more hope for a fool that a person who is wise in his own eyes. That's a bit of a wakeup call. If I do not realize how foolish and lowly I truly am, there is so little hope for me! If I think I can make it on my own and that I am wise enough to make my own decisions, I am really deceiving myself.

One thing I love here, though. God is always good and gracious and there is still hope! Not much, but it's still there. :)

An Observation

2008-08-25T12:33:00.002-04:00

Forgiveness is never a one-time action. It is something you always have to do. You can always quit forgiving someone for something. This is one of those things where we have to watch ourselves, or we will think the matter is done. No, no, no. It is only through Christ's power that we ever forgive anyone, and it is only by his power that we will ever continue to forgive them. It is especially hard to continue forgiving someone in the heat of an argument. Sometimes people say, "Oh, well you never really forgave me then if you're mentioning it now!" It's not that they were never forgiven, just that at some point the act of continued forgiveness stopped.
Just a few thoughts....

Keeping on keeping on

2008-08-24T13:03:00.002-04:00

Today I have a lot of Bible reading to do. I'm going to be finished reading my Bible at the end of August. :)
I also have to keep on cleaning my room.

I'm a bit( a lot) frustrated lately because my right hand has been hurting a lot. Back in 2004 I injured my hand while I was trying to start a go-cart. The pull-start jerked back and grabbed my third finger, just pulling it like crazy. Then I had to push the go-cart up the hill. I didn't hurt that day, but the next day it felt like I had pins and needles killing me if I moved my hand at all. I was stupid and didn't say anything, and then when I finally did say anything about it my mom dismissed it and thought I was just being a crybaby. =P (crazy, right? Try to be stoic and don't get the kind of help you need, then your parents don't realize how bad it really is. LOL) For a while I wasn't able to do anything with it - dishes, writing, piano, anything that required wrist movement was pretty much out of the question. It was super hard.
Over the next few years I've always had trouble with it if I do anything too much, or too hard, but sometimes it bothers me less, and sometimes it bothers me more. I haven't been able to take piano lessons ever since, and I've had trouble with writing. This Summer it hasn't bothered me much at all. I haven't used it much, though.
Since I've started school, and I have also been playing my piano quite a bit more than during the Summer, it has started really bothering me. The past three days it has been really painful. So much so that the pain radiates up to my elbow. It hasn't started going up to my shoulder yet, but I won't be surprised it if does. Today I'm trying to keep ice on it, and wear my brace. To me it seems like the brace makes it hurt worse, but I may just be crazy. =P This week my mom is supposed to schedule an appointment for me to see another doctor about it. In 05 or 06(I forget) we saw a doctor, but he was mean, and didn't help at all. He gave me some anti-inflammatory medicine, but it didn't help the pain at all. I am wondering if since it hasn't healed after 4 years, if I am going to need the surgery. =/ I am just hoping and praying that the doctors can find the right way for me to get healing for my hand. Pray with me?

We found out today that our interim music pastor is permanent now!!!!!!! I am sooooo excited!!!! This is just absolutely amazing, and makes our church even better!

:)

Life is so good. <3

Mathemetician's Block

2008-08-16T20:51:00.002-04:00

Tonight I am sitting here, all tired out, trying to factor polynomials. I haven't done any of this in some months, and I haven't been to class yet, either. I am thoroughly befuddled, and my hand is really hurting. I've decided to drop the polynomials. They can wait. I was listening to the Miss Potter soundtrack on my Rhapsody account. They have this thing where you can listen to 25 full songs a month. :) The Miss Potter soundtrack is absolutely enchanting.

Today those of us who joined the choir went to choir practice, and the kids came along. :D It was a great practice. One of those sing-as-good-as-you-can, work really hard practices. I didn't do anything drastically bad either! haha.

I emailed Mrs. Alice today and told her I wasn't going to be able to take piano lessons. That was depressing. I love music, and I wish that I could play piano and violin very well. I know that if my hand wasn't messed up I could. I have juuuust enough talent that with lots and lots of practice and a good teacher I could be rather decent. =P

I have a bunch of my favorite verses sitting in the window behind me. That is a wonderful way to continually meditate on scripture. I need to get some more up there. I wrote the verses in ink, then colored over in crayon, I believe.

I think I'm going to go take a nice hot bath, and take a lovely book friend along.

<3

Laura

And life goes by....

2008-08-14T19:46:00.004-04:00

School has started! I am glad, because of the way life will become systematic again.

Some of the changes I've made in my life lately are inspired by a lot of things. First of all, God. He constantly draws me to him as I draw near to him. It makes me think of a child learning to walk. His mother stands near and encourages him on, slowly walking backwards, calling him on. The child is continually moving forward, but there's always another step to take to get to Mommy.

So, first of all, I decided I wanted to read through my Bible. I had never read it all the way through before.
Then, very recently, a brother-in-Christ made some changes in his life that really challenged me.
After that I went to the Prayer Advance and God gave me a very strong desire to delve into his Word and make it the biggest part of me.
When I got home I shared with my accountability partner the changes I wanted to make, and she wanted to make them with me!

Currently I am :
Reading 15 chapters of my Bible a day, so I can finish in August, and she and I can start in September on a plan to read our Bibles through in 4 months.
Meditating on a different verse every day.
Memorizing two "bits" of scripture a week.
Reading a Proverb every morning.
Making sure to get in the Word before I get on my laptop.

It's amazing the change I feel inside of me! I know that there is probably not much outward change. It is so easy to hide our inner feelings and attitudes. I feel joyful most all of the time, and my attitudes are just so much better. It's great!

The other day I know that there were demons and angels around me, and I was able to quote scripture to fight back against the demons because I actually had been memorizing!

SO now every morning the first thing I do is pull out my Bible and read a Proverb, check and see what my meditation verse is for the day, and go over it. Then I make up my bed and get dressed, eat breakfast, check my internet stuff, and then start school. :)

At the moment I am going to go clean up some pictures off of my laptop. If anyone has any good tips for good, routine laptop up-keep, I would be happy to hear them!

-Laura

Writing Plans

2008-08-09T16:46:00.003-04:00

So I need to write some more. I want to write on the emptiness of other religions, how doing nothing is as bad as doing bad things, and there was something else...oh right, heart purity.

I went to "formal night" last night. My youth group goes to a dinner play every year and they go all dressed up. I thought it was an even for going to in formal attire. Well, heh, it's not. So it was rather weird. However, the play was amazing!!

I am so tired I could go to sleep about now , but I am going to wait until morning. I mean (see?) I am going to wait until tonight so I can go to sleep so I can get up in the morning for church. (wow)

I'm starting school Monday! YAY! I need to get my room clean. I think I'll go eat something soon and then put on some peppy music and clean my room.

I've been really, really aware lately of just how horrible I am. Which is uncomfortable, and I keep expecting that feeling to go away, but really I am just working on realizing that yes I am evil, and GOD is the only thing good in me.

I didn't mean for this post to be published early, but it was so I'll just keep on going.

God showed me today that we don't love people for any other reason that him. I only love people because of God in them and because God made them, and that is the only reason why people love me.
When something that hurts you happens, you keep on. God, for as long as he has made us, has been being hurt. However, he keeps his promises and is always a good God. Wow!
God uses our mistakes and to make good things happen. All things work together for Good to them that love the Lord, and are called according to his purpose.

Power corrupts the best of people.

God is good. All the time.

<3

Lengthy but Worth the Read Sermon Notes

2008-08-06T21:44:00.001-04:00

This is rather long note, and I'm missing Session 2, but I'll get it eventually. Some of the stuff here I put in my first note about all the stuff that happened, but basically this is just my thoughts on each of the sermons and some overall stuff.
-Laura

The first session Bro. Will Galkin preached was a good, rousing beginning to the advance. He preached out of Psalm 119, on the Hebrew word חיה ("khä·yä'" - chayah). It means to live, have life, remain alive, sustain life, live prosperously, live for ever, be quickened, be alive, be restored to life or health. The theme of the sermon was, "Quicken me, Lord!" He gave us a list of verses in Psalm 119 that had that Hebrew word in them, translated either as "quicken" or "live". It was in verses 17, 25, 37, 40, 50, 77, 88, 93, 107, 116, 144, 149, 154, 159, and 175.
Here are some things that I wrote down.
It isn't Biblical Christianity to be enslaved in sin.
"Quicken me" - the goal isn't to be a be a better person, it is to KNOW him.
What I got out of the sermon was a desire to KNOW Christ. To be completely alive in him is my goal. To be completely immersed in Him and alive in him so that I am dead to sin.
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One of the things I really took away from the prayer advance this year was the realization that you don't just purge sin from your life. There are times when you can't just say, "Okay, I'm taking this sin out." You can't just be dead to sin. The only way you can be dead to sin is to be alive in Christ, and the only way you can be alive in Christ is to immerse yourself in him, and the only way to do that is to be constantly in the Word.

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For the second session I do not have notes. Bummer.

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Bro. Sammy Frye preached session 3. I was nervous about him, I didn't know if I would like him or not. I really liked him once I heard him, though.
This session(on confession) was based out of Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
He talked about why we hide our sins. First of all, there is pleasure in sin, and we want to enjoy it. Then there's the pain of being found out. Man, being found out really hurts our pride! We are so arrogant and want everyone to think that we're such good Christians, but really we're all alike. We all struggle with sins and no one of us is any better than the other. None of us don't face temptation, and only the ones of use who daily abide in God's Word have the strength to resist the temptation to sin. That doesn't make us any better, either. It just makes God's grace a wonderful thing!!
Bro. Sammy talked about sin for what it is. It's a revolt, or a rebellion against God.
Some of the ways we try to cover our sin: Blaming others, rationalizing, and justifying. When we try to cover our sins we can have no success. Jeremiah 5:25Your iniquities have turned away these things, and your sins have withholden good things from you.
However, if we confess our sins he will give us mercy, and he'll forgive us freely and then we can enjoy him the way he meant us to! We'll be able to receive the blessings he wants to give us.
Here are a few things he said that I wrote down.
You can't draw near to God with unconfessed sin. You can only come to him with complete honesty and repentance so that he can create a clean heart in you.
It's hard to confess, but it's harder to stay clean. (what a good, sobering reminder.)
(This one I really liked.) The past is never the past until it has been dealt with Biblically.
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This next session was one of my favorites from the whole weekend. Bro. Will preached on purity. I've heard quite a few sessions on purity, but they were the normal, divided sessions. We girls got the "dress so you don't defraud guys and have a pure heart" session, and the guys got whatever the guys get. =D Well, it was different this year. We all stayed together and Bro. Will just got to it.
The focus was having purity by faith. At first I thought that meant more like having faith in God to keep you strong enough to stay pure. Not exactly.
He used the story of Joseph and Mrs. Potiphar. He started off by telling us about Joseph and how he was able to resist the temptation. Joseph believed God. He didn't just believe in God, but he believed God. God gave Joseph a "word" through his dreams(that he would rule over his family one day) and Joseph trusted that God would keep his word. Even when it so looked like God had deserted him, Joseph believed God and stayed faithful. Then he was blessed and given a very high position in a very wealthy man's house, and you all know how the story goes. Potiphar didn't keep ANYTHING from Joseph - except for one thing - his wife.
So one day Temptation comes along in the form of Mrs. Potiphar. Bro Will gave us a whole list of characteristics of temptation.
Temptation is attractive. Obviously. If there's no attraction, there's no temptation.
Its suggestive. It whispers to you to do this or that, and if you don't immediately check those whispers they go on and gain strength.
Temptation is persistent. It comes after you again and again and again.
It is deceptive. It tiells you that if you do ___ you will be happy, which is a lie. Then Bro. Will talked about how immorality is just a big, fat lie.
It is agressive. When you don't check those whispers they grow into shouts.
It is vindictive. Here Bro. Will talked about how Potiphar's wife told lies about Joseph and got him into trouble when he wouldn't do what she wanted.
He told us there are two ways to resist temptation : pine away (which doesn't work anyway) or be preoccupied with Christ(which is the only way that works.)
So then he gave us a strategy for being pure.
1) Be diligent in your work! - if you devote yourself to the work you should be doing then you won't have much time for temptation.
2) Submit to your authority. - authority is God's way of keeping you safe.
3) Practice the presence of God- meaning, be SO preoccupied - so deeply in love with Christ - that nothing else is even attractive to you.
4) View sin for what it is. - it will kill you if you are not killing it.It hurts us and those around us, but it offends God. That's a big deal.
5)Reject sin! Be ruthless and relentless no matter what. (the thing I love about this step is you can't do it unless you are doing the other steps. =P)
6) Avoid the temptation. - just some of my own thoughts here, people try to do this step first, and it doesn't seem to work. Now I know that's because they aren't doing the other steps first. =P Especially step 3 is VITAL.

I really appreciated this session because while it was really focused in on sexual purity it applies just as much to...life purity. Heart purity. I've come to realize that things like anger/impatience/bitterness/etc., these things are just as impure as sexual impurity, and I really want to be pure like Christ was.
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Bro. Sammy Frye preached session 5, "Bitter or Better", obviously on bitterness.* Hebrews 12:14Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
15Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 16Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. 17For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears. * So, this was a really good sermon. Bro. Sammy said a few things off the bat that really caught my attention.
-Bitterness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
-It is to the spiritual life what cancer is to the body.
Bitterness, he said, is failure to release hurt and refusal to trust God & his sovereignty over my life. Bitterness is synonmous with pride. They go hand in hand. Here are some of the consequences of bitterness : 1, it will disturb you, 2) it will depress you, 3)it can kill you, 4)it will defile others, 5) it will defeat God's empowering grace in your life, 6) it delights the devil and invites him into our lives.
Wow. That's, wow. That's pretty awful.
More thoughts:
-God's grace is sufficient to heal every hurt. Doesn't matter how big or how little. God is not limited by our problems at all!
-We have to be willing to suffer for other people's sins, and be willing to pray for our enemies.
-We must be willing to trust God or we can never conquer bitterness!
-If I will respond right to the circumstances God places in my life, he will promote me. (think back to Joseph in the jail.)
and one last, sobering remdinder. If you are bitter you will become not only what you hate, you will become worse than what you hate.
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Session 6 was another great sermon from Bro. Will. He was preaching on how the Christian life demands change. It turned into a sermon on purity as well, apparently there were plenty of people God wanted to get in touch with about that.
Some thoughts:
We need to Seek and Set our affections on the things of God to change our lives.
What do you spend your time on? That's what you love most.
In order to change we must be desperate to know Jesus! It was basically just that theme of being preoccupied with Jesus so that we are changed into his image!
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Bro. Sammy taught session 7, the first session on Saturday morning. It was about loving souls for Christ - going fishing!
A love for souls starts with a love for Christ. Our outreach should be public, and personal. Jesus set this example for us. He preached out in a boat before all the people, and personally talked with Simon and called him to be a fisher of men. Simon was tired and he had failed fishing the night before, AND he was already cleaning up his nets getting ready to go home! However, he had an obedient heart and his willingness to obey Christ brought many, many others to Christ.
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Session 8, the last session of the day was the icing on the cake. It was on Psalm 1.
Thoughts:
-Blessed is the man that separates himself from the world, and saturates himself in the Word.
-Without Christ, in ALL my efforts, I will fail!
-This kind of separation from the world is not just separation from the bad(the vile, the wicked). It's separation from those who just don't care about God.
-If I can't submit to my authorities, I am not spiritual!
-Separation won't last without saturation!!
-What you delight in is what you think and speak.
So, this was the final bit that drove me on to that hunger and thirst to just be totally drowned in God's word!
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I am just so excited that God is going to change me. I really want to be the girl that everyone knows is always in the Word. I want it to just....be evident in me by my actions and my countenance and my demeanor and my conversation and..everything about me! I am already enjoying meditating and memorizing and reading my Bible. There is nothing sweeter.
It was neat because before I went to the prayer advance I was reading my Bible a lot, and drinking a lot of water. Not as much as I should, then I got burnt out on the water and the reading, and had more soda and much less Word! At the prayer advance I committed not to drink anything but water, and I was drinking in so much of the Word through all the prayer and preaching. Now that I am home I can't stop being in the Word or drinking my water. God gave me that wonderful physical illustration of my spiritual life, and for that I am very grateful. It helps me to cement the spiritual concepts in my mind.
I am glad that God's plans are different from mine and that I was given the opportunity to be at the prayer advance. I needed it, and he knew that. I pray that whoever provided for me to go will be richly rewarded by God for their giving beyond any reward they could have ever imagined.
God is good!
-Laura

Home

2008-08-02T20:00:00.005-04:00

I am back. Wow. What a weekend.

So, it all started Wednesday when Megan and Sarah came over. I had never met Megan before, but I'm so glad I got to. We had supper and just really did nothing until 9:00 came and I hadn't packed yet. We were planning on leaving at 6 AM, so I started. =D I stayed up until 1:30 AM because of some laundry I had to finish up, and then got up at 4. heh. Smart, no? I was burning cds, finishing my packing, packing some of Caiti's things, and getting my bedding. 6:00 was approaching fast and I was panicking. We were finally done, so I went to brush my teeth and put in my retainers. I was shaking from lack of sleep, lack of nourishment, and from panicking, so I dropped my retainer case. I saw the one retainer fly out, but I didn't see the other one. I picked up the one I saw and started searching frantically for the missing retainer. I couldn't find it anywhere. Then I really panicked. When I panic, especially over a retainer, I cry. I really cried because I just replaced one!!! So Mama and Nicholas helped me search without any luck. I went to my room to zip up my suitcase and take it to the van and finally Nicholas spotted it on the floor in a spot where it should have been crushed three times! We had all stood in the spot where it was sitting on the ground, but God was VERY good and it is safe and sound now. *sigh* That was too much drama for one morning. And we were off.

The morning went by fast, and with a little difficulty we arrived at the college. Without lunch. =D
However, we all lived until supper just fine. We had the first session at 2, a break, then a session at....3 something? and supper at 5. At 6 the ladies got together to learn a song. Then at 7 we had the night session, sang our song, had a great sermon, and left for our night of prayer. Megan and Bekka were out at the gazebo crying, so I went to pray with them. That was an amazing time. At one point I was praying for them and God was giving me the words. I wasn't stuttering or saying um, and it was all coming out so clear and coherent! haha. I was thinking, wooooww this is cool. =P

It was so sad, praying with them, seeing the pain and hurt that sin causes. Our own sin, sins committed against us, and sins committed against others. So many times there is just nothing you can do about it and it hurts!!! My favorite verse on this topic is Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. I just love how when we have hurts we have give it to him, because he carried it for us already. It doesn't take all the pain away, but it takes the burden of the pain.

Once we finished our prayer time we went and got donuts and had a prayer/sharing party with some friends. =P Fun fun times! We talked about everything from depression to what our parents used to spank us when we were younger! Then we went to bed.

Friday morning was rough. I was grumpy, sore, and cold when I woke up, and my shower was freezing cold. However, since I was the last to take a shower, everyone left and I stayed in the room and got ready. I read Ephesians 1 and Proverbs 1 before I finished getting ready, and that helped my morning a lot! And then feeling and looking much prettier did to. Unfortunately, I took so long that I missed breakfast, so we went to Bojangles and got some food there. haha.

Throughout the day we had our sessions and breaks, and then there was the sweet hour of prayer. I was thrilled that the campus we were on this year was big enough for all of us to be able to find a place to be alone - really alone - for an hour or more of prayer. I went into the laundry room in the dorm on the first floor. At one point I was sure the water heater was going to explode and I would be scalded to death and perish right there. Fortunately that didn't happen!! haha. God was using most of Friday to show me how self-centered I am, and how if I am going to change myself I am going to have to be preoccupied with him. I was very impressed early on (by God, not really by the preachers) that I need to drown myself in the Word. My sweet hour of prayer showed me how sinful I am. It's crazy because for awhile I had been feeling just how sinful and unworthy I am, and then it all came to a really big point during that hour. I was really struggling to accept God's grace and feel cleansed. I knew it, but I still just felt so evil. God is still working on me with that one.

Then there was lunch. *grin* I went to lunch alone, and found the nearest friend to sit with. Quinn!! She was sitting with her brother, Grayson, and some of his buddies. Caleb, Benjamin, Elijah and David. I told Quinn, "PLEASE don't leave me," with this desperate look in my eye, and she looked back with the same look/laugh, and said, "Yeah, PLEASE don't leave me either. " So, haha. Now these are a bunch of redneck southerners, and guys on top of that, so lunch was interesting and fun. At one point all the guys were bragging about all their various wounds and showing off scars. *lol* Poor David gets queasy when they talk about stuff like that, so he was sitting there holding his stomach and groaning. It was really fun. After that some of us trickled to the gazebo and talked about stuff until the next session.

I'm going to post all my notes on the different sessions eventually, but the one I want to mention at the moment was the session on purity. Normally they separate the guys and the girls, but this time we were all together. It was amazing. Bro. Will gave us a very specific plan to be pure. I was really encouraged. People think purity and think more like sexual purity, but it's also about the heart. I mean, anger and impatience and any sin is an impurity in our lives. It was really encouraging.

There was another session, and then supper, and then the last session of the night. After that was testimony time, which is always amazing. I gave my testimony, and I thought it went pretty bad, but apparently I was understandable. I blanked out on what I was saying at one point. :( I finally got through it though. I was amused at the difference between the guys and the girls testimonies. The girls would shake/stutter/mumble/forget what they were saying/be very nervous. MOST of the guys would just go up there and rattle it off like it was nothing else. In front of 300 people! Wow.

I stood around and chit-chatted with a bunch of people. There was a bunch of talking and discussing that went on last night. It was great. This morning a bunch of girls and I went running/jogging/feeling sick to ...my...stomach at 6 AM this morning. It was fun. :D Then we got ready and had breakfast(which I didn't eat cos it was sick), and then there was the first session, and then I got a good apple and some peanuts from the snack shop. The second session started, and then it was all over.

Now it's time for the stuff in random order.

I decided not to drink any soft drinks this weekend, so I have been drinking water. I'm still drinking it. I've refilled my bottle 3 times in the past 2 hours. :D It's getting empty again. I've felt a lot more energetic this year than any other year, and I think it's because I didn't have the lows/highs from the sugar and caffeine. I also tried to eat as healthy as I could (get a fruit and as many fresh veggies as were available at the salad bar =P), so it's been pretty nice.

I "adopted" another sister this weekend. Abby (who is Sarah and Bekka's sister) is a really sweet girl. She got saved last night, as did Bekka! Bekka may have just gotten assurance of her salvation. I'm not sure.

My little sister Abby just got assurance of her salvation tonight, too.

I wanted to ride home the same way the bus was riding home so I could eat lunch with my friends before not seeing them again for months and months, but my mom didn't want to do that because it would mean going a good bit out of our way. I struggled with being okay with that, but decided to really try to be joyful. I didn't do as good as I wanted to, but I did pretty good. Then, the bus ended up stopping at the place we stopped to eat about 15 minutes after we got there! I was able to say goodbye to a few people I hadn't got to say goodbye to when we left the campus. :) That made me happy.

There were more random things I wanted to post but I can't remember what they were. =P

<3
Laura

Prayer Advance

2008-07-28T22:04:00.005-04:00

Early Thursday morning I am leaving to go to the Student Prayer Advance. I wasn't supposed to be going, because I didn't have the money to pay for it this time. School (even high school) really breaks a person's pockets!
God is so good. I was really down about not going, and then my sister was going. I was even more down. Then when my Mom was sponsored to go I was downright depressed about it. The prayer advance has been a really big thing for me, ever since I first went in '05. I am grateful God has different plans than I have, though, because he planned for some dear people at my old church to sponsor me, and now I am going! I am so, so grateful that I am barely even excited compared to my gratefulness.

(John, Heidi, Leah, Me, Hamilton, Daniel, Derek '05)
That was the year that God really got a hold of me and started calling me to a real relationship with him. My two biggest insights that year were that 1) God created us so he could love us, not just so we could be God-glorifying robots, and 2)I can be a spiritual giant- all it requires is a strong, personal relationship with Christ, supported by much prayer and scripture reading.
That year God convicted me of not having daily devotions, and I committed to have devotions every day for a year. God was so good to me that with the exception of two days, I kept that commitment.

(Caiti, Quinn, Me, Heidi, Hamilton, Sam, John, Daniel)
In '06 God taught me to respect him more. One of the preachers preached on Isaiah 6, and that is still one of my most favorite chapters in the Bible. He is my King and I should be so humble before him. He also prepared me for the next year. Towards the end of the advance I started feeling very disconnected from him. This year was also the year that Satan was attacking me. One night during the sermon I thought, "*scoff* You're not really going to go home and change your life from all this, are you?" In horror I thought back, "Uh, YES! *blink*" It was a bit scary, but comforting once I realized that was Satan's thought, not mine.

(Me, Mandy - a friend I met for the first time. We have been online pals. and Hamilton)
Last year, '07, my Mom came with us. I was a bit nervous about how that would go, but it was really awesome having her there, and all my friends love her. I also got to meet Mandy. :) At the beginning of the week I started to feel really disconnected from God again, then he told me to trust him and be close to him. Closeness is not just a feeling, it's a way of life. Heidi got saved last year, as well.

I don't know what is in store for this year, but I am excited and waiting! I'm trying to get back into the habit of spending a lot of time in the Word. It really makes life so much better all around.

In other news, I think it's quite possible that I have a mild case of adrenal fatigue. For now my plan is to start going to bed earlier (failed that tonight), eat much less sugar, and avoid all caffeine. Next time I see my chiropractor I will talk to him about it.

We joined the choir yesterday! I am so happy. I love using my voice as an instrument to praise God, especially since I can't do that so much with the piano anymore. I still can, just not as much as before.

I was hoping to start lessons(piano) again this semester, but we will see. My hand has been aching some lately. Hopefully it will stop.

I have three friends who've broken up with a guy lately, and I was thinking, "Man. An arranged marriage would just be nice." It would be nice if there was a guy, and he and his parents prayed about me for awhile, and then talked to my parents who prayed about it for awhile, and talked to me, and we all kept praying about until God said okay, and then they arranged it all, and we got engaged and then married later! Okay, so it wouldn't be that easy, but I just can't stand the idea of breaking up with someone. I don't want to get in any kind of romantic relationship with a guy unless he's The One. I don't want that pain for me or for him!!!

I had something about arranged marriage set as my status on my Facebook profile for awhile, and that brought some interesting conversation. A few people pointed out that, "I think it's the decision of the couple in question, not the parents. They're adults, they need to make that decision for themselves." I disagree, though. That is a HUGE step in life, and that's when we should really be seeking the counsel of our parents! God gave us parents to lead us in these situations. I would be very uneasy about marrying a guy without my parents' blessing.

My goal this week is to finish Luke, Jeremiah, and the Chronicles. Pray for me as I try to accomplish this task. I am dreading all the heavy reading, but I know it will be worth it.
<3>

Bittersweet Homecoming and an article

2008-07-22T16:48:00.003-04:00

I am home.
It's a very happy thing, but then again it is very sad. I am going to - I already- miss my dear aunt and my cousins so much. *tear*

I had such a good time with my aunt that we went shopping a lot, and I forgot that I dislike shopping! (Until the one time I was wearing shoes that weren't good for shopping. =P)
Spending time with Sarah, Anna, and Allie is such a joy, even if Sarah freaks out over silly things, Anna talks incessantly, and Allie is a big stinker! =P And I'll even miss listening to Uncle Guy tease Aunt Cindy to death =P.

I wrote an article recently on obedience to parents.

Dear Reader,
I want to share with you something God has been teaching me over the past few months. Something I hope you will grasp sooner than I did. If you can grasp this principle while you are young, and learn to live by it, you will not only save yourself and those around you from much trouble; you will gain length of life, and many blessings. The principle is this: honor your parents.

Honoring your parents means a lot of different things in a lot of different situations. It means obeying them in the Lord. (Our parents are sinners, too, and to blindy follow an order when it is out of line with God is wrong.)Honoring your parents means trusting God to lead you through them. It means respecting them even though you think their ideas are old-fashioned and, well, crazy. It means doing what they ask you to do, - or not doing what they ask you not to do - with joy.

As hard as this is, it is completely worth it. Not only does God bless you when you obey him, but he has promised to bless you especially when you honor your parents! Ephesians 6:1-3 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." When you honestly seek to do what's right, even though it's hard, it will really draw you closer to God.

One of the blessings that comes from honoring your parents is peace. If you are trusting God to lead you through your parents, you have a lot less to worry about when it comes to what job you're going to get, what college you're going to, or whether or not you should date that really awesome guy/girl. I'm not saying that you don't have to make these decisions for yourself, but when you're submitting to your parents, you have their guidance, and God's blessings.

As you learn to honor and obey your parents you are cultivating a submissive spirit, and this is a major blessing! All throughout life we have to submit to those over us - husbands, bosses, pastors, teachers, and government authorities. The sooner we learn this, the better it is for us and those over us. If we're not struggling to submit we are free to put 100% of our efforts into the job they've appointed to us.

One final note - If you've given your life to Christ, honoring your parents is not something you can get around. Your Lord commands you to honor and obey them. If you want His blessings and guidance for your life you have to obey the rules he has clearly laid out for you. Ultimately,if you learn to abide by this principle, you'll find that God knew exactly what he was talking about when he put it in the ten commandments. Even when it seems tough and crazy to listen to your parents, and even if it seems like it doesn't affect your life, it does. God notices everything, and will bless your obedience to him.

In Christ,
Laura

Mowing and Tipping

2008-07-13T21:16:00.004-04:00

Once Upon A Time, there was a girl. She had never mowed grass in her life. She had ridden around on the riding lawn-mower once, a very long time ago, but she wasn't cutting any grass. Well, then she went and stayed with her aunt in Florida, and her aunt asked her to mow.
"I've never done this before, I'm going to really mess something up!" she thought, but everything actually went fine.

So now I can't say that I have never mowed grass, ever again. There's a first time for everything!

Saturday we ordered a pizza, but we payed for it with a credit card, and forgot to tip the pizza guy. Well, we were going past the pizza place today, and I told Caiti, "Haha, we should like, go in and leave the tip for the pizza delivery dude." but we were both like, "He's probably not even there."
Well, when we drove around the back of the Publix, lo and behold, behind the pizza place was our pizza guy! And I had a couple of dollars, too. :D So we stopped, and gave him the tip. That totally made my day!

I'm finally almost done writing an article on Parents. I've been working on it for awhile now. I just need some friendly input, and then I'll be able to finish it up.

<3
Loshie

Cousins, Honesty, and Sleep

2008-07-12T09:03:00.002-04:00

There's something absolutely sweet about younger people who look up to you for help. Since I'm staying in Florida I've had plenty of occasions to help all 3 of my cousins. They're 9, 6, and 2.

Alli is the 2 year-old, and she's still in diapers. She can be a holy terror, but she's a cutie. She'll come up to me, sometimes grinning and laughing, sometimes really solemn, and she'll look me in the eyes and say, "Lad-la, will you change me? I has poopies."
hehe!! She's so cute. And when we play together and she puts her hands on my face and says, "Now I need you to listen to me. You need to take a nap. Do you understand? I'm going to close the door now." (Can you tell what her biggest issue is?) it's just so funny how serious she is, and I play along, just so I can watch her.

It's such a weird thing to me that I am a Big Kid now. For years, Big Kids were the sacred influence in my life. I wanted to be like the Big Kids. If the Big Kids talked to me, I was in heaven. If they laughed at me (just because they thought I was cute, but still), it hurt my feelings and made me angry in different way than if my peers had ridiculed me.

I had two heroes as a little kid - my piano teacher Miss Rachel, and our scripture memory leader, Miss Joy.

Miss Rachel has a family of her own now, and I admire her very much. Miss Joy is my friend now, and one of my mentors. God bless all the mentors our there who lead others on to righteousness by example and word. I pray that I can be that kind of mentor to someone else one day.

I was talking to a friend recently who mentioned how they hide behind wackiness a lot. I was trying to figure out what I hide behind, but I'm not really sure. Wouldn't it have been wonderful, in the Garden of Eden, having nothing to hide? And then the disappointment and shame Adam and Eve felt once they did have something to hide. We can't get around hiding some things in this life, because there are some things you just can't tell other people - for various reasons. It will be so refreshing, though, when we get to heaven and all our thoughts and motives will be pure, and there will be no need to hide anything!!! I get so excited, thinking about heaven.

So, some people can go on 6 hours of sleep every night. Some people, 8, and some people need 10. I need 10. Which is eternally frustrating. I do not want to go to bed early enough to be able to get up when I need to be up, especially when I'm on vacation. *sigh* So then I end up being sleep throughout the day. It's so frustrating. When school goes back in session and there are days I'll need to be out the door at 9 on the dot it's a bit easier. I get up at 7 and have plenty of time to eat and prepare for school, mentally and physically. If I want to get up at 7, however, I have to go to bed at 9!! If I start getting up at 6, like I'd like to, I'll have to go to bed at 8. That's pretty early. I like to stay up and study from 8-11. Night owl.

Anyway, I need to eat and this has been a great big ramble.

I am so ready for school to start, and to get my piano back, and to join the choir!

Loshie

Parasailing, "Tanning", and Reading

2008-07-09T14:24:00.002-04:00

I will be glad when I get home and join the choir, and go back to school, and start living my regular life again. I'm really enjoying my vacation here, though.

Yesterday we went to the beach! I love the beach so much. I love it best when I'm on vacation at the beach, when I can go swim in the ocean and then go straight from the ocean to a pool, and wash all the sticky saltwater and sand away. When I can take as many trips back and forth to the beach as I like, and can go once for being wet, and once for being dry. I hate being wet and sitting in sand, so I love it when I can take my thoughtful trip separately from my swimming trip. I love it when I can go and walk on the beach for a good solid hour and just admire the waves crashing in, and remember how those waves have been crashing in for as long as the world has been. When I can watch the sun setting on the horizon, casting beautiful shades of pink and orange over me and the world around me. When I can sit on the sand and listen to the water, and the birds, and the wind in the trees. I love breathing in the wonderful, salty air. The only place that I like half so much as the ocean is the mountains, and there is one part of it that I like better - not so much sand. =P

Yesterday we all got ...well, a lot of sun. What's funny though, is my sunburn isn't very bad, and I only used suntan oil. SPF 8. The girls and Caiti used like, SPF 30, and they are crispy red! Aunt Cindy didn't use anything, and she was in the shade the whole time, but she still got burnt some.
I have "sunglasses eyes", however, because I forgot, totally and completely, to put anything on my face, and so I am very burnt on my face, except for where my 100 percent UV protection sunglasses were. haha! Very comical. I shall have to take a picture.

I've been reading a lot lately, on top of my Bible reading I'm reading David Copperfield. It's good, but I always have a hard time reading through Dickens, even though I love his stories. It would be much better on tape.

I really, really hope that next year I can volunteer at Camp Sunrise. After VBS I really want to do something else with kids. :)

<3

Laura

Home

2008-07-07T11:03:00.002-04:00

I have a very strong tendency to be independent, and I work pretty hard to keep that under control. I tend to think that I know best, and even when I submit in action, in though and attitude I'm totally out of line.

I get tired of being places really fast. Tired of being home with my family all the time. Tired of running back and forth from place to place all the time. Tired of being away from home. Then I realize that it's not that I'm tired of any of those things, it's that in the midst of those things and places I lose my sense of 'home' by losing my focus on Jesus.

"In thy presence is fullness of joy." That is home. Anywhere I go, anything I do, I can be home! That is so comforting.

I'm getting a bit tired of being here at my aunt's house. I'm always a bit afraid that I am secretly being judged for something. While these fears have perfectly good grounds, I'm letting them ruin my time here, and if anyone who reads this will just pray for me and my sister while we are here, it would mean the world to me. I want to enjoy my time here, and learn to love my aunt and uncle more. I want them to enjoy me being here, too. So, I'm really going to pray that God will help me out.

I've been doing so much Bible reading lately that I'm starting to crave it. Which is totally exciting!! I've craved God's word before, but not half as often as I am now. I never knew that when you make yourself read it that it would make you WANT to read it! Isn't God amazing?!

I can't wait to join the choir when we get back home. Caiti and I LOVE singing, especially singing hymns together. We used to have "kitchen duty" every night, so we'd always clean the kitchen and sing as many hymns as we could think of. She always takes the melody, and most of the time I sing harmony. God blessed me with a pretty good ear for harmony, and he blessed Caiti with a better voice than me, so it works out great. We haven't been singing any since we were here. Last Sunday we 'sang' some shallow, shallow praise and worship tunes, but that doesn't count.

I'm going to read my Bible! =P

-Laura

I was just realizing....

2008-07-05T10:25:00.002-04:00

how much of a difference it makes when you spend a lot of time reading your Bible.
It doesn't matter what you read, or if it applies directly to an issue you are dealing with. Spending time reading God's Word is such a help. I've found that I have a lot more strength and self-control lately, but the only thing I've been doing differently is spending a lot of time reading my Bible.
VERY awesome.

Gratefulness

2008-07-04T12:27:00.002-04:00

I am staying with my aunt in Florida for a month, and really enjoying it. It's been about a week and a half now. One of the things that's hard is being content with my clothes. I'm not rich or anything, and then I try to wear modest clothing, so I end up with a pretty decent wardrobe. Nothing exceptionally cute, though. I am a girl, and I love exceptionally cute pieces, so that's hard, especially when my aunt wears really cute stuff, that also tends to be more revealing.

I just spent some time looking at the Modesty Survey, though, and I can't say how encouraging it is to know that my wardrobe is really helpful to guys. If anyone who took part in the survey ever reads this, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I finished 1 Kings, and I am nearing the end of 2 Kings. I have to be honest and say that it's getting a bit boring. I hope that the Chronicles will be a bit more interesting. =P Then I can move on to Jeremiah. I still have a lot left.

Re: VBS, I am so grateful for the crew I got to lead this year. I loved every bit of time I had with them, it was such a privilege. I am getting my pictures back, soon, to send to them. The last Sunday I was at church before coming to Florida I went and talked to them for a few minutes and gave them hugs. They pretty much jumped on me. =P That made me feel so good! They were all sad I was going to be gone, and that was just sweet. I wish I could have sent them the pics sooner. I can't wait to see them again.

We went to the mall yesterday, and Bath and Body Works was having this humongous sale. They have this White Tea and Ginger lotion, and wow does it smell amazing. I got two bottles of it I love it so much, and it was super cheap. :D I had some White Tea and Vanilla lotion from Mark(a division of Avon), and I'm pretty much out, so I was super happy to find this stuff at B&BW, especially so cheap.

I am a major sucker for "happily ever after", so it falls in line that I am a major sucker for Disney Princess movies, too. I love them all, and I can't ever decide which is my favorite. Plus, I grew up watching them at my grandparent's house, so that also is a reason I love them so much. Well, Disney came out with this new movie, Enchanted, and it is GREAT. Well, some of the outfits the girls wear aren't great at all, which was sad. Extremely sad. Other than that, however, it is a hilarious, endearing movie. The songs are great, the bit of animation, the acting, the singing...it's wonderful. SO my new favorite movie! =P

I've not been getting my ten hours of sleep every night, just about 7-9, and the weird thing is if I get any more than 6 hours, I HAVE to have all ten, or I'm sleepy all day. If I get all ten I'm good. I got nine last night, so I am going to go get that last hour.

One more thing- I've always grown up in a pretty traditional style church. I am most comfortable in that setting for worship. Well, my aunt goes to a modern, contemporary church, and so I had to prepare myself for that when we came. Fortunately, I was SO pleasantly surprised, everyone was so genuine and real it was very easy to worship God. It was a bit hard to worship him through the music, because it was all that flooshy repetitively repetitive praise and worship. Some praise and worship is good, some is only okay. The preaching was great, though.

Oh, and one more really exciting thing. We got a new music director at church, he's a 20-something, he just graduated from Pensacola, just got married, and he has a baby on the way - he and his wife and so adorable, anyway, he's great! My whole family enjoys him so much more than our previous music minister. Well, we're going to join the choir as soon as Caiti and I get home!!! I am SO excited about this! We never joined the choir before because they always used soundtracks. I hate soundtracks. =P

Anyway, good night.

<3
Happy Independence Day! No matter how long our spiritual freedom lasts, God is good and I will continue to worship him with all my life.

"You're not so smart, are you?"

2008-06-27T23:24:00.004-04:00

I really wonder if God doesn't just sit and stare at me sometimes, I'm so stupid.
I finally got something he's been trying to teach me for a long time, and I am glad to have finally gotten the concept! Now I just have to keep carrying it out.

I have some amazing parents, but they're normal people. They raised me well, and continue to do so. They taught me what a Christian should be like, and they taught me that SO well that in my sin I have really judged them for not being everything a Christian should be. I really, really struggled in the past with bitterness towards them for everything they did wrong that hurt me and our family. God taught me to forgive them, and I did, and I still am. Sometimes I have to remember more often to pull out my "slate" and "wipe it clean", and sometimes I am not even aware of it.

Lately I have been more aware of that "slate", I'm not sure why. Sin patterns, attacks from Satan, lack of closeness to God? Maybe some of all of those. So, I've been constantly battling my flesh, trying to respect my parents. It has been so hard. God is helping me, though.

He has used this struggle to get my attention and show me this thing he's been trying to drill through my thick skull for a long time now : I have to trust him to direct my parents, who in turn direct me in the way He wants me to go. I have to trust them and submit to them with respect, joyful obedience, and love. Not just in big things, but also the small things. Especially the small things, since those are the harder ones.

Took me a long time to get that, and through an ongoing conversation with a friend about one of her struggles, and a comment-conversation on facebook about how I would trust my parents to pick out a husband for me, it finally dawned on me, "Oh! This is what God has been trying to teach me!"

I was thinking to myself, "Funny I would trust them to pick out a husband for me, but I have a hard time when they tell me not to wear flip-flops to church, and that they don't want me going off to a Christian college for four years."I mean it doesn't make sense for me to trust them for something so huge, but not follow their leading in smaller things, does it?

*********************************

Ordering pizza can be, well, let's call it an adventure. *grin*

First I call Papa John's. I can't understand what the young man on the phone is saying. The reception is bad and he is mumbling. I give him my phone number and address, and he can't figure out where we live, so I call Westshore instead. No one answers. I call Dominos. The young man on the phone sounds quite competent, is very polite, but sends me to a different location with my request for delivery. I call the other location. The lady I spoke with was also kind, but doesn't know if I am in their delivery area, so sends me to talk with a young man at their store. Turns out, the other Domino's should have delivered to my house. 0-0 So, extremely frustrated and somewhat hungry, I call Westshore, again. YAY! A lady answers, and they will deliver. I order the pizza, she tells me the total, and they should be here in about 26 minutes. I get online and figure out how much I should be tipping the deliverer, and give my cousin a bath. 30 minutes later, no pizza. 50 minutes later, no pizza. 51 minutes later I get a call from a Charles B. It's the pizza delivery guy! "Ummm, I'm on your road, but I can't find you." "Okay, have you passed a group of 3 mailboxes with a big black mailbox on one end?" "Uuuh yeah I just did. I'm parked in front of it." "Okay, I think I see you. Are you in a truck? " Uuhh yeah." "Okay, just pull in the driveway you are right in front of."

*sigh* Finally, we got our delicious pizza.

Adventurous? ..........I guess.

I made some really cute cards! Only I made one upside down, and the lettering on it is a bit paper-fuzzy on the edges. The design, I think, is cute, though.

Once Aunt Cindy gets back I am going to make some more. :) She has some software with more clipart to cut out on it. I am going to make one with "Summer" and a palm tree on the front.
I love summer!
and I don't know, hopefully I'll think of some other stuff. I'm not extremely creative. Just a tad.

<3
Loshie

It's been awhile

2008-06-18T07:27:00.002-04:00

Well, I won't make excuses for my lack of posting, although I have been busy, there has been time. Lack of motivation, I guess.

VBS went so much better than I ever expected!! One of my kids visitors came, Billy, and I believe he got saved. :) I was so sad when it was all over.

On the last night of VBS, everything went pretty well. I had been tired after a week of VBS, so I saved up all my energy for the night. As I went through the night everything was good, and then I did as much as I could to help clean up before I left. Well, I was also doing all of that (running around, up and down stairs) in a pair of high-heeled wedges. (that's another story to be gotten to.) As I had been every day of VBS since Monday. :D Which, I am very good at, hehe, but it gets a bit tiring after awhile.

We left church and headed over to a friend's house for an all-nighter movie party. I didn't really want to go, because I knew how tired I would be, but it was okay. They're our friends from birth, so they wouldn't care if I went to bed early. When I stepped out of the van I realized how tired I was, and my legs felt just like jello. :D Well, I went to bed around 12:30ish, but none of them went to bed till around 4-6. 0_0.

We all got up around 10, and then Caiti and I left. I had some shoeshopping to do, and ended up buying a pretty white shirt, as well, among a few other little things.

Monday morning Caiti went to Gen's house - a lady at church who has 4 little boys, 6 and under! She and I are helping babysit them this week while their parents are gone on vacation. It's a big task, but I daresay we both are enjoying it more than if it was 4 little girls. I like little boys ever so much better.

One of the sweetest things at VBS last week was getting to see all the guys interacting with the kids and little ones.

In less than a week I am leaving for a month.

I am going to have a new retainer made today. I hope they don't try six moulds on me before they get it right this time. Last time, well, it was NOT pretty. All that nasty gop in your mouth and the back of your throat with a HUGE mould shoved in your mouth, ohhhhh dear. It wasn't so bad when they had the right sized mould.

Voices of Praise have two really good CDs out. They may have more, but the two we have are Crown Him and My Glory All The Cross. I absolutely love them because the singing is good, the accompanying is good, and all the songs are the kind of songs that make you think about life in Christ. Definitely a helper to keep you focused on your walk with Jesus. I am very thankful for good CDs like these.

I just finished reading 2 Samuel, and I'm not sure whether or not I want to read some in the New Testament, or read a bunch of the Minor Prophets, before I go on to Kings and Chronicles.

It's time for me to go start getting ready so I better run. :)

<3
Loshie

VBS

2008-06-09T00:41:00.003-04:00

This week is Vacation Bible School. Some years I love it, some years I hate it. It depends on the church, the leaders, and the program. This year we have a wonderful church, wonderful leaders, and a wonderful program! I am so excited. VBS is one of the times you get a chance to make an impact in a child's life, and even if they don't gain a ton of spiritual insight from it (since VBS is often geared toward those who aren't saved, the children who are sometimes don't get much from it), you have a chance to give them a week so full of fun they will never forget it.

One year I went to VBS, and I remember it very well. There was a Cold Room, an Egyptian Room - complete with desert sand, Egyptian pyramid, and hieroglyphs!, Ocean Room, Camping Room, and maybe one other I can't remember. I don't remember if I learned much, but I do remember that it was the best VBS I've ever been to in my life, and I will never forget it. The songs were wonderful, the teachers were kind and enthusiastic, the rooms filled me with awe, and the games were fun.

This year I am a crew leader. I have a crew of 4 kids, so far. It may get bigger tonight. I have one boy and three girls. My job is to get to know my kids and draw them out, pray for them, find out who's saved. I get to lead them from activity to activity during the night, help them with the activities, and keep them together during assembly time. We are Crew 12, so we get to sit almost at the very front!! I am very excited about my group of 4th graders. Samuel is 8, almost nine, and I've known him for a few years. We used to go to a different church together, and now we both go to Belmont. I am going to teach him piano once the school year starts so this will be a really cool opportunity to get to know him better before piano starts. He's pretty quiet, but very sweet, and he gets involved with the activities really well. Rachel is 9, and she's a very active/physical girl. She is always moving around, touching, grabbing, and reaching for things, but she's very intelligent and sweet. Shannon is quiet, but she is very attentive, and knows a lot of the answers. She's also very sweet. Then there's Faith who is a bit more independent. I haven't noticed anything particular about her yet, except for the fact that she seems a bit more independent than the others. Which is in no way a bad thing. Tonight they'll be making tie-dye shirts, so it will be pretty fun.
Our theme this year is The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, from Veggie Tales. Last night we learned about how God is always with us. We talked about how friends can be dependable, but many times they forsake us, and how Moses was afraid, but God was with him, and for our science experiment we learned about the power of air, and how much more powerful God is. For our game we played a variation of musical chairs. Everyone had a partner, and one was the parrot, the other was the perch. All the parrots stood in a circle, and all the perches stood in a circle around the parrots. Each "circle" walked in a different direction - one clockwise, the other counterclockwise, and when the music stopped, each perch dropped to one knee while the parrot tried to find his perch. The last parrot to perch was out. It was really fun once we got the hang of it. I got to be Samuel's partner for this game.

So, I am really looking forward to tonight, and the rest of this week!!!

-Laura

Staying Up Late

2008-06-05T01:34:00.002-04:00

Well, here I am, up extremely late again. I've been putting off going to bed because I don't like going to be alone. Since I am dog/house sitting, I'm by myself. Caiti, my older sister, has been with me some, but this is my third night alone. I've been here since 3:30 all by myself. I will be here until probably about 10 in the morning they'll pick me up. I really don't know when they'll pick me up.

I'm going to the chiropractor tomorrow!!!!! I am SO excited about that. :)
I'm sleepy.

I'm reading 1 Samuel now. I finished Judges. It was good. I'm in the middle of 1 Samuel. Hopefully I will start 2 Samuel and finish it before this week is out.

I am ready to go home.

<3

Is it really June?

2008-06-02T00:47:00.002-04:00

How is it June already? Remarkable, how time flies. In 3 weeks I will be flying to Florida, to meet my aunt, and stay with her for 4 weeks. :D I am looking forward to it.

I finished reading Judges tonight, as well as Ruth. I admire Ruth very much.

I am house/dog sitting for my school administrator, Mr. Bob R., and having a good time. He has a very nice house. =P Sugar, the dog, is sweet, also. She isn't very much trouble. I feed her twice a day, change her water about 3 times a day, take her out about ten million times a day, and put cream in her eye at night. Okay, so she requires a lot of care, but she is very old. And she has cancer, and is deaf, and going blind. And I am getting paid very well. :D

God is very good. I am praying that he will work out things with my school schedule this coming semester. I have two moms who are wanting their children to take piano lessons from me, as well as one student over the summer. I will have Spanish and Geometry and Algebra, and I might need to be at school for a lot of chemistry help. Also, I am praying God would provide a job for me, during that time, so I am also praying that he will provide a car for me. I would really, really, absolutely love to have a red, four door Honda Civic with a spoiler on the back, but, I am determined to be happy with whatever God chooses. That could mean no car, it could mean a nice car, and it could mean a very ugly car. :D No matter, God's way is perfect, and it's his way I plan to go.

:)

God is good!

<3

Exhausted

2008-05-29T23:32:00.002-04:00

I was disappointed that I wouldn't have a chance to run yesterday, or today. Yesterday I was gone from around 2-9, and I was gone from 8:20-almost 10 today. Fortunately, I had quite the workout, today, so that made up for lack of exercize, but I still enjoy running much better than lugging boxes up and down steep stairs. :D I was curious to see how many trips I would make, and overall I made around 30 trips to the basement. Including the trips I made upstairs, as well as from the basement to the first level, probably around....40 trips. :D I was really hungry today! As soon as I got done eating I would burn off all the energy in like...half an hour. (not really, but it felt like it.) I was also very tired because I got home late and went to bed late last night.

I was reading about Gideon today. I wonder how old he was when he led those 300 men into battle. He was the least of his father's house, so I'm wondering if perhaps he wasn't very old at all? It took him awhile to believe that God would be with him. I wonder how long it would have taken me to completely trust God. I still don't. I trust him a lot more than I ever have, but when I was afraid our home situation was going to go bad, and that we weren't going to have enough money, I know I didn't trust him enough. It's so easy to say you will trust him once he provides, but when you're at the beginning of a need and just don't see where the money will come from, it is SO easy to stress and worry.

I was talking with one of my mentors today about evil spirits, and how real they are. A lot of the time when we start feeling depressed or angry or ugly, or something, for no good reason, it's because we are under attack. I forget that far too often, and I'm guessing that a lot of times when my joy is gone, I've let Satan rob me of my joy, or his demons. That is so sad. With God's power I could have kept my joy, but in my ignorance it was stolen. The neat thing about knowing that Satan and his demons are actively at work is being able to realize that sometimes when you think something horrible, or are tempted, or just all of a sudden feel like a nasty ole meanie and want to be ugly to everyone, it's not all you. (Sometimes, however, it IS all you!) There are definitely times when you can tell the difference.

One time I was at a prayer advance (www. Christlifemin.org), and this thought popped into my head, "*scoff/laugh* You're not really going to go home and change your life over this! phhht." and I was like, "*indignant scoff back* Uh, yes, I am!"

Now that was crazy! I could feel Satan attacking me that weekend. At times it is easy to rebuke his angels, since you know it is them, and just send them packing. This time Satan wouldn't leave. He really bothered me all weekend.

Anyway, I am going to go to bed now. I am so tired.

<3

Laura

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2008-05-28T10:35:00.002-04:00

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

I just added this song to the bottom of my page. It's a version of it by Fernando Ortega, sung to a new tune. The new tune makes you really think about the words you are hearing, since it's a little different than you've always heard it. This is my song right now, and I am cinging to all the truth it holds. Especially the last verse! God is so good.

Have a great day!

2008-05-27T10:40:00.002-04:00

Well, yesterday was wonderful. I didn't do anything much, and it was relaxing. I finished reading Deuteronomy, and cleaned the back bathroom, and the kitchen (twice). Watched an old Jimmy Stewart movie, Shop Around The Corner (You've Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan was a remake of this). It was really sweet! I didn't care so much for the heroine, though. She was typical of a lot of heroines from that time period of movies - somewhat annoying. Jimmy Stuart's character, however, was pretty much awesome! I think he is my favorite actor of old. Him and Frank Sinatra, and Bing Crosby. Very much awesome.

Today I have a few phone calls to make. I need to catch up with a friend I haven't talked to in awhile. Earlier this year I started talking to her, and found out that she was going against God. Not just going astray, but completely, purposefully defying Him. As I talked to her I found out part of her theory was, "if I get out all my youthful sin now, I can be a good Christian later", and "I'm tired of trying to be good and disappointing God." So, I told her that she needed to realize how seriously she was disappointing him in her current actions, and that she was rejecting God's grace. I don't remember what I said, but even when said in love it still sounded extremely sobering and harsh. Anyway, she thought about it for awhile, and then I talked to her on the phone again later, and she told me how she had committed, with a friend, to just throw out "all the rules" for a whole year, and start fresh the next year. As I talked with her I let her know, "You know girl, I've been talking to you and telling you where you are wrong, and if you don't start making a change, I can't be friends with you anymore. " She completely understood, and I was afraid that she would just understand and say, "OH well. There goes another friend."
I asked so many of my friends to pray for her, on a specific day. There were so many that said they would! And she is definitely changing. I can't imagine how hard the road is going to be, and has been for her, but God will be glorified.

I also need to call a lady whose house I am going to tomorrow and Thursday, and let her know what time I will be there.

I also want to read a significant portion of Judges, plant my jalapeno seedlings, and find a place to plant my Sweet William seedlings. And run. Maybe even SWIM. Our pool is finally clean!!!!! I can't wait to get back in the water. I've only been in the water once this year.

God is so good, I was just talking to another friend who I've been encouraging to forgive others, and she said that she is doing MUCH better with that! I am so, so encouraged by that. God is amazing! I would not serve any other. I could not serve any other. I could not respect them, but my God has all my respect, and fear. And yet, he is still so tender and personal. He is wonderful.

Deuteronomy

2008-05-23T23:48:00.002-04:00

Tonight as I was reading Deuteronomy, I found a few things that were very interesting to me.

The extreme measures God commanded the Israelites to take to prevent worship of anyone but himself
The widows and fatherless
God's rules regarding lending money
The way God expected the Israelites to treat their poor

If ever there was anyone who worshiped a false god, the matter was to be closely examined, and if the person was found guilty, he was to be stoned. If anyone tried to get you to worship a false god, you were to have him stoned, and you must throw the first stone.
Can you imagine if your best friend one day starts trying to get you to worship a false god, how horrid that would be? Not only do you have the pain of knowing that your best friend has gone astray from God, but you have to kill them.

God was very, very clear that worship of any god other than himself was not to be tolerated, and the consequences would be extremely severe, so as to discourage anyone from taking part in it. (chapter 13)

I had never really thought about this before, but it dawned on me just now that the widows and fatherless were in a much different situation back then, than today. The husband/father was the head of the family, protector, provider, everything. Women didn't just go out and get a job if the husband fell ill and died. There were ways for her to take care of her family, I am sure, but definitely not like today.

God required that every 7 years, if you had lent someone(a fellow Israelite) money, on the 7th year you were to release him of any debt he had not repaid. Even if it were the 6th year, and you knew he could not repay you by the 7th year, you were to lend him the money cheerfully and generously. God was pretty clear that he would bless you for this. I know that God's blessings in return for our generosity are wonderful, and that even when we are not generous, if we seek him he still provides for our needs.

God expected the Israelites who were better off in life to provide for the poor, and when they did, God would bless them. It's like he was saying to them, you know, you don't have to worry about not having any money. If you give it all away to the poor, I will bless you and take care of you!

So, this was just neat to me. :)

-Laura

Running

2008-05-22T13:01:00.002-04:00

I have never been much for running. I like to jump rope. Actually, I like running, but I've never had the endurance. Anyway, today I felt like going out for a run, and I did. Once I got back I was like, "*breathe in- breathe-out-grab the chair so I don't fall over*" lol! So I was looking up breathing techniques and found this list of reasons to date a track runner. I've officially decided that I am going to marry a track runner. *grin*

10. Track runners are very handy in emergency situations. Ran out of gas 16 miles from the nearest town? Got lost somewhere in Yellowstone National Park’s 1 million acres? Send the track runner for help. Your date may turn out to be your best chance of survival.
9. Any good track runner will never leave home without adequate hydration. When amusement parks request six dollars and the rights to your first born child just for a fancy bottle of water, your honey will be ready with a bottle from home tucked sneakily into a jacket pocket.
8. Track runners are energetic to a fault. Harness this energy and use it for a worthy cause, such as a variety of home improvement projects that beg to be done.
6. Track runners are excellent at running in circles. When your sheep break free of the pasture and no herding dog can be found, you will be ready with an excellent replacement.
4. Track runners have discipline. This means that you do not need it. When the kids require someone to hover over them and force them to do homework, your significant other will be perfect for the job.
2. Flexibility. Useful in a variety of interesting situations.

Great isn't it?

Infinitely Glad

2008-05-21T23:12:00.002-04:00

I am so, so, so happy that Jesus is my rock. Without him I don't know where I would be, and I do not like to think about it. A long time ago someone pointed out to me that Jesus was supposed to be my identity, and while they had no clue, that changed my life. Living life with someone else as my stability is so much nicer, and easier.
The thing I love about God and all the rules he has set down for us, is that they are always for our own good. Everything ends up making us happier or better, or just something positive. He never asks us to do something that isn't for the better. Many times we warp the outcome of circumstances, and they don't end up better, but that's our fault.
I love hymns. I was emotionally flustered earlier today after finding out that things at home had gone bad. Last year things were really bad, my parents almost got a divorce, I hated living at home, everything was frustrating. Well, one of the things that made it so bad has come up again. Just recently my parents were talking about how much better things were. I'm having a bit of a hard time just letting go of wondering why God would let this happen again, and now. I do trust him, though. Especially because I've been through this before. Back to my original train of thought, though, hymns are so amazing. I can sit down and play the piano and be so encouraged, or turn my iPod on, and memories of God's love and faithfulness flood back to my mind.

Ps. 91:2
I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Exodus 15:2
The LORD is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him.

Psalms 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Psalm 73
23Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.
24Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
25Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.
26My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

You Know You're Best Friends When

2008-05-21T10:55:00.005-04:00

You ALWAYS leave something at their house when you go over - even when you're not spending the night
You call each other names no one else can understand, like Sheesh and Wally
You "get on to" each other's siblings
You stare at each other and just laugh for no apparent reason
You make fun of each other mercilessly
You share a large drink at the movies
You laugh about things that went on at birthday parties that happened ten years ago

Dedicated to my best friend, Alicia

Past my bedtime

2008-05-21T00:06:00.003-04:00

I went to a choir/band concert tonight. My best friends, Katey and Alicia, and their siblings are all in a great group. It was really fun, but it lasted forever!!
I am memorizing Ephesians 2. :) I love it!
Didn't read any of Deuteronomy today. See, I hadn't been planning on going to the concert. My sister was supposed to tell me, and my two other sisters, that we were supposed to be ready at 2:30 to leave, if we wanted to go. Well, heh. She didn't mention a thing about it. :-/ So, 2:30 rolled around, Mama got up from her nap and was ticked, and my feathers were ruffled, but it was fine. I grabbed some clothes and threw them in a bag along with my makeup, curling iron, and camera...and my memory verses. Drat. I think I left my curling iron at Alicia's house. *sigh*

Ephesians 2 talks about how God "before ordained" us to good works, that we might walk in them. That is so awesome. God planned that when we came to him, our lives would be spent in living for him, doing good works. People say that Paul and James preached differently about salvation by works/faith, but honestly, they harmonize just wonderfully.

-Laura <3

Hmmm

2008-05-19T22:09:00.001-04:00

I went to bed at 9:20, and got up because I forgot to brush my teeth. Then I got up and went outside and jumped 200 jumps, and stretched. I couldn't go to sleep, thought it would help. Now it's 10:10 and I just got up and put on some music. Hopefully that will help.

HOPEFULLY, Goodnight.
<3

On The First Day Of Summer I did a lot of things!(sung to "The Twelve Days of Christmas)

2008-05-19T20:29:00.002-04:00

Well, today was "officially" my first day of my Summer "Do Hard Things"...thing. Which is why I have 29 minutes to write this blog post, have a conversation, write in my journal, and memorize some of Ephesians. Unless I decide to go to sleep at 9:30, which I may do. I am so used to going to bed much later that it will be hard to go to bed on time. I am so tired tonight, I may just take advantage of that and go to sleep early. The other things can be done tomorrow.

Today I:

Cleaned my room(did some of it the other day, but most of it today.)
Read the first 5 chapters of Deuteronomy
Wrote a letter to Becca

Heh. Not much, but considering all I've done so far, it's fine. Also, considering how dirty my room was, it's a lot.

In Deuteronomy it's neat to read the kind of an overview Moses is giving the Children of Israel. I've been dreading getting back into the Old Testament, which sounds horrid, but sometimes it can be(most times) so hard to read. There are some pretty interesting points, however, and much to learn from. I think my favorite part of the book of Joshua was when one of the tribes goes to Joshua, complaining about how big their tribe is, and how little land they have. Joshua told them, "Guys, if you are a great, powerful tribe, then go over to those woods you have and cut you some land where the Perizzites and giants live, if your mountain is too small for you." So they say, "But Joshua, that mountain isn't big enough for us, and all those Canaanites that dwell there have big chariots." (I can just image they are getting a bit pouty here.) So Joshua just tells them, "Listen, there are a lot of you, and you are strong, so if you need more places to live, go kill those Canaanites. If y'all are strong, you can handle it whether or not they have iron chariots."

Heh. Now, that's not exactly how it goes, but, that's my paraphrase. :D I found the whole scenario pretty amusing.

I have a friend who's grown up in a really strict household, and lately she's become pretty rebellious. I've been trying to gain her confidence for awhile, and it's going pretty well. She shared some stuff with me the other day that she really shouldn't have (I didn't ask her to tell me), but I was glad that she trusts me enough to tell me. I'm really praying that God will change her heart.

Goodnight! <3

Loshie
This is the "seaPod" I made at the beach earlier this year. :D

Hah! This scheduled posting is great.

2008-05-19T09:51:00.003-04:00

So, my plan was to put in all my old posts from the other blog on this one through the Summer. I had them all set for scheduled posting. But then I had a little idea. Why don't I see if I can post it as LAST year. And it does that! So now I can stick them back in the order they were originally posted in. Too cool!
So now, if you want to read any of the old posts, just check out my old posts!

Prince Caspian in Theatres

2008-05-17T17:18:00.000-04:00

Thursday I worked, and had a generally good time, and then I went to the orthodontist. He checked my teeth, and I asked him some questions about my retainers, my bite, and my gums. Oh, and about how long and when do I wear my retainers. haha. He told me my teeth were looking just fine, and that my retainers were really clean. =P Yay!

After I was done at the orthodontist, we (Mrs. Lisa, Katey, and I) did some shopping, and went back to the L.'s house. We had supper, and pretty much went to bed.

Friday morning we went to a church nearby for their band and choir practices. I sat outside and read Do Hard Things, and finished reading Joshua. I also talked to my good friend, Sierra, and she told me how the grades for the Geometry A test had been messed up. Come to find out, I didn't make that atrocious 19 after all. All my pain for nothing. =P

Actually, not nothing. God was teaching me that, yes, I could have studied harder for that test, and no, it's not the end of the world to have an overall grade of 89.

We had lunch, and hung around the church for awhile. It was great fun. Then we went "home"(their house is pretty much my second home), and got ready to go to the movie. *yay!*

We went to the bank before we went to the movie, because I needed to cash some checks. I cashed them at the bank the check-giver uses. =P Actually, the lady I work for, her husband is one of the important, "up-there" bosses. Every time I go in, it's, "Oh! How do you know Mrs. K.?", or, "What do you do for the K's?" It's pretty funny, except then the tellers all get really friendly and talkative, and when I am in a hurry, it's like, I don't want to be rude, but I have to go.

THEN we made it to the theater, and waited in line for the movie. Alicia(one of my very best friends) and I bugged each other, we sipped our coke, and waited in general excitement for movie. I tried to get a good shot of me and Sidney and Ryan, but it didn't work. Even the second time around. =D Kids can be so annoying, but life is generally much better with them.

We all enjoyed the movie immensely, though we were all disappointed with something they threw in the end. It was unnecessary, and not in the book.

Vendetta's Pizza is a pretty interesting place, and we went out to eat there after the movie. I was trying to find out from my brother back home what my grade was, (on the geometry test), so I was a bit uptight, and we were completely squished at our booth. It was really fun, though, and I found out that my grade was MUCH better than a 19, so I was totally ecstatic. It was a blast spending time with such awesome people. There were 8 people around my age, and it was just great.

Here are some pictures from our adventures.

Ryan!!! Come on......

Forget it.......
Models? lol

DO HARD THINGS

*rolls eyes*

Funness!

Today I babysat for the wedding, and I wasn't officially paid, so we'll see if I get officially paid......I have got to remember from now on that anytime you do a service for a wedding,make sure to get paid before the wedding. Afterwards the people don't ever remember, or if they do they can't make it around to you. =D

Now I have to clean my room, and perhaps I start planting some of my stuff.
I have 4 lovely jalapeno seedlings!!! I can't wait for them to grow and produce peppers. I LOVE jalapeno peppers!

<3

New address, same blog

2008-05-17T17:15:00.000-04:00

Beyond Ordinary was my blog, originally. Then I wanted to share it with my friend, so we could post together, since we weren't writing Justified by Faith anymore. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, so it's just my blog.
I moved it to joyinhispresence1611.blogspot.com, though, so I am transferring my old posts here. :) They will be coming in throughout this Summer, and will be titled with the date they were written.
-Laura

May 15th

2008-05-17T17:14:00.001-04:00

Well, even though it seemed like things would not work out, they have. Or rather, God has. I worked today, and finished earning back the money I was loaned by my grandparents. For that I am truly happy. Now I can pay back what I owe. I do not like being in debt.

I am reading Do Hard Things, and wow. It has made my Summer reading list - the Old Testament, and Wives and Daughters, seem quite measely. Perhaps I may broaden it.
Today is quite dreary, and although I normally find no goodness in dreary, grey days, I am enjoying this rain. A grey curtain has fallen over the lawn and the trees. The rain lazily drips and drops, swaying with the breeze. All is calm and the flowers rejoice for the showers, the kiss of life.

I am continually amazed at my God.

I have a babysitting job at a wedding on Saturday, and that money will be mine to use as I will. Excepting a few dollars of my tithe money that I had to use, since my check had not yet been cashed. However, I am going to give what is not tithe to the Kenyan orphanage. I am so grateful for what God has given me, and I just want to give back to him. I feel that he is pleased with my decision, and it is so nice to feel that God is smiling down on me. For once, I am not giving this because I have to give my tithe, and it feels so good. I hope I don't come across as being boastful. I feel so priveleged that I can give what little I have to God....it feels rather freeing. At the same time, though, I feel like he would have me give this to him, but after that, to continue tithing my ten percent, but save the rest for a car. I am praying for him to give me a car, and I think he would have me work in faith towards the goal I am asking him to fulfill for me. It is a neat feeling to know that you are giving what God would have you give, no more, no less.

Reading things like, "Do Hard Things," often makes me discontent with where God has me. I want to go out and Do Hard Things! They talk about doing all these great things, and sometimes I wonder why God has me in a place where it is impossible for me to do those kind of hard things. At times I wonder if maybe I am just not trying hard enough, but then when it comes down to it, I know that's not it. God just has a different plan for my life that involves being faithful at home, and that is a very hard thing.

The grey curtain is becoming darker and darker, and I am going to bid you farewell.

"Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus. Oh for grace to trust him more."

~<3~laura

Worrying, stressing, Not worth it!!!

2008-05-15T09:41:00.000-04:00

I am always stressing over something, worrying about some little detail of my life, and I've always known it, but lately I have come to realize the sheer stupidity of it. Stressing over something, well, what happens happens, and if I give it my all, and still fall short, I have nothing to be ashamed of. Worrying, worrying. That's really, really stupid. God has shown me this month how he takes care of everything. He is so faithful.

Can you believe the beauty he gave us? I love sweet williams, and I am hoping to grow some.
I love flowers. They are so restful, and when all hope fades, and there is no water left, no room for their roots to grow, they simply fade, after the order of life they've been given. As God gives them sun, rain, nutrients, they grow. As he takes them away, they submit to his will with a beautiful peace. Okay, so "they're just flowers," but I think God has given us something to learn from everything he created for us.

My final grades came back, and I did very well. In every subject, (Psychology, English IIA, English IIB, Algebra IIB, Chemistry A and Spanish IA), except for Geometry A, I have an overall average of 100. In Geometry A I have an 89, because I made a 19 on my final exam.
I was extremely upset about it yesterday, and I cried for awhile. A lot of things all came down at once in about the space of 5 minutes, so I dealt with it. (Meaning, had a little breakdown, cried it out, prayed it out, then was fine.) I was tired for the rest of the day, though. And an overall 89 is NOT the end of the world.

I love impatiens, as well, and hope to get some very soon.

<3 Laura

Summer is here!

2008-05-14T11:08:00.000-04:00

Summer!!!
My favorite season of the year is definitely Summer. This Summer is going to be a lot different than any of the 16 summers I've had so far, though. My 17th Summer is all about growing into a more mature, diligent, organized girl. It's going to be an uphill climb, but I am determined not to fail.

I've been home schooled all my life, until this year. This January I enrolled in a little private Christian school called Faith Academy. It's a ministry school for kids who dropped out, or got expelled, but still need their high school diploma. It's also great for kids like me, who don't want to go to school full time, but still need teachers who understand the higher maths and sciences. It's also really nice to have a Spanish teacher, and someone who can plan out my school year. I've really enjoyed it. It was a challenge, and I think I'm going to finish out the semester with A's in everything. I just need my finals to be graded. :D

I was really worried about my own finances this Summer, but God is showing me that he is in complete control. He keeps providing money, and opportunities to earn money. He is so faithful, and this I say with all my heart. I really pray that I will draw closer to Him this Summer.

Picture of the Day : Me goofing off while getting ready for school

Insights from Jeremiah

2008-05-14T09:09:00.000-04:00

Jer 9:23
Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise [man] glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty [man] glory in his might, let not the rich [man] glory in his riches:
Jer 9:24
But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I [am] the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these [things] I delight, saith the LORD.

I was doing my nightly Bible reading last night, and came across this verse. I do like it. It really spoke to me.
Don't boast or feel pride in how smart you are, don't show off how strong you are, don't brag about how much stuff you have.

Your mind will fail you. As you get older, your mind deteriorates. It won't function to its fullest extent. If you go to hell, it doesn't matter how smart you were, because you didn't spend your life using your wisdom for the glory of God. If you are using your wisdom for God, remember, you didn't give yourself wisdom, or the ability to get knowledge. Who did? God.

Your body will fail you. The older you get, the weaker you'll be.

Psa 71:9 Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth.

If you go to hell, it doesn't matter how strong you were, you didn't spend your strength to further Christ's kingdom. If you are living for Christ, remember, God gave you a strong body, and he constantly keeps you healthy.

Your money will fail you.

Proverbs 23: 5 "Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for [riches] certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven."

If you go to hell, it doesn't matter how rich you ever were, if you did not give your money to glorify God.
If you're using your money for the Lord, remember, he gave you every cent of it.

We shouldn't glory in anything our own, rather we should glory in him. In that we know and understand him! How awesome is that? We should glory in that he exercises lovingkindess, judgement, and righteousness.
God is so loving, so merciful, so gentle and kind that he sent his own dear, pure, holy son down to earth, to become sin, so that we could have a relationship with God.
He is the Great Judge, and he will reward every good and evil deed- if not in this life, in the next.
Our God is a righteous God. If he were not, he would not be God.

I am so thankful God showed me these verses last night. I love when he speaks to me. :)

His Always,
Laura

1/28/2008

2008-01-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

Don't Close Your Eyes!

"My faith looks up to Thee,
Thou Lamb of Calvary, Savior divine!
Now hear me while I pray, take all my guilt away,
O let me from this day be wholly Thine!

May Thy rich grace impart
Strength to my fainting heart, my zeal inspire!
As Thou hast died for me, O may my love to Thee,
Pure warm, and changeless be, a living fire!

While life’s dark maze I tread,
And griefs around me spread, be Thou my Guide;
Bid darkness turn to day, wipe sorrow’s tears away,
Nor let me ever stray from Thee aside.

When ends life’s transient dream,
When death’s cold sullen stream over me roll;
Blest Savior, then in love, fear and distrust remove;
O bear me safe above, a ransomed soul!"

"My faith looks up to thee," that's an action, isn't it? How, then, can I have faith in him, if my eyes are shut? With bravado I talk of getting through the next 2 weeks, 5 months, 4 years, only by trusting him. In reality most of them time I've got my eyes squeezed shut as tight as I can, blindly stumbling through those 2 weeks, 5 months, or 4 years. How pathetic.
How can I close my eyes to my Abba, who wants nothing less for me than absolute purity? The Dear One who gave his life so willingly for me, that I may have a rich, full life in him! If I would only remember that he will not ask me to go where he will not take me!! How can I follow, if I cannot see? How can I be strong in him, if all I see is what circumstances demand of me? If I accept what circumstances demand of me as my fate then I have lost sight of my Redeemer, the One who can and will and DOES miracles.
To take your eyes off Jesus is dangerous, and painful. Once you've truly seen him, to block him, even/especially unknowingly is just awful! To not have his sunshine and warmth is devastating.
Sometimes things seem too hard, and you want to hang your head and cry, but please don't. Just keep looking up to Jesus, don't lose sight of him!! Sometimes life gets easy, and you get distracted, and want to look at something else. Please don't. You just purpose to keep your eyes on Jesus, keep looking at him, he will give you strength! Sometimes things get so scary, and you just want to close your eyes and bury yourself in your pillow, but please, please don't. If Jesus is leading the way, and you have your eyes on him, you will go through with victory!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, and don't close them, no matter what happens!

1/04/2008

2008-01-04T03:00:00.000-05:00

Having Joy All The Time

Another year has come and gone. Now that I'm in the new year, I am happy with how last year went. There were victories, and defeats, but last year was more victorious for me than any other year has ever been.
By God's grace I was able to conquer the bitterness I'd been so desperately holding on to. I was also able to learn joy in Christ's presence. A very sweet lesson to learn. I know that this year I will be learning perseverance in hard tasks, so joy in his presence will come in very handy.

How can we have joy in his presence alone? Does that mean that I am not allowed to take joy in the people I love, the things I have, and the places I go? Absolutely not. God created those things for his glory, and we glorify him by living our lives and enjoying what he has given us! They key is not letting those be your only joy. Those things, as wonderful as they are, only give us surface joy. There is one thing that supplies a truer, deeper joy; a joy that goes beyond all comprehension.
How can you have joy when God has taken your loved ones from you, and placed them in concentration camps, and you, too! How can you have joy when you see your sister lying cold and dead in a pile of bodies. How can you have joy when you share a bed with six other miserable, rude, sick women. It seems impossible, yet with God, nothing is impossible.
There is a time when you can have everything good around you, yet your joy is gone. Then is the time to get on your face before your holy God, and come back into his presence. The best place to find fullness of joy is there - in his presence.
Psalm 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures forevermore.
The Hebrew word used for "fullness" here implies the "state of being fed or gratified to or beyond capacity." Wow! Joy beyond capacity. I want that.

There are many times I find that I don't have joy. Sometimes it's because I have my eyes on those around me. For example: I used to go to parties, looking for, wanting to see/spend time with a particular person. If he/she was not there, I would be disappointed through the whole party, and depressed when I got home. Fun party, eh? No, the party was fun. I was just stupid. =D Really, even if it was someone I'd not seen for a year, why, why, WHY let myself get depressed?! Think of all the friends I DID see. Besides for that fact, think of the wonderful God I serve. When I find myself in this situation, I either stay depressed until it wears off, OR, (here is the option I would chose if I were you, and the one God would have you chose), come before Christ, confess to him my wrong (taking my eyes off of him, esteeming others higher than him), and come back into his presence. When you have that restored joy, wow. It's indescribable.
Sometimes my joy is gone because life just becomes stale. I don't know why, but sometimes I just get a "block." I feel like I'm in a dense fog. I can't see or hear Jesus...I can't feel him in my heart and soul...and it aches. To feel estranged from Christ is one of the worst feelings in the world. (as a side note, imagine what it felt like for Christ to be estranged from God!) At times when I have a block, and no clue what's causing it, I am driven to my knees, begging God to show me what it is I have to do to get back into the clear. There have been times I've just prayed with ever ounce of sincerity in me, crying, begging Jesus to make himself real to me again. Calling out to him to, asking him to show me how to get back to him. He always comes through. Most times I have to repent of some sin, and make some thing right, and then I have restored joy.
There are so many things that take away joy. Lack of things, too many things that end up causing us to take our eyes of Jesus, circumstances, hurt, sin. In every situation all you must do is confess your sin, and come back into his presence. It's a beautiful thing!
My challenge to you is this : purpose to live in Christ's presence today, or maybe your day is about to end, then tomorrow. Write a note where you can see it, or do what I like to do, write it on your hand! (disclaimer: if your parents would rather you not, please don't. Mine don't like me to, so I had to quit. :[ ) "Stay in HIS presence!" So when five bajillion things go wrong in a row, don't lose that joy. Come to the throne, as for grace, move on, and keep your joy. It's pretty simple, and it makes life so much more beautiful.
Living in his presence is so beneficial, even beyond giving you joy!
-Laura

7/11/2007

2007-07-11T22:55:00.000-04:00

But You Don't Know What I've Done!!!

When it comes to accepting Christ, sometimes people can't fathom that Christ could accept them, much less LOVE them, and they don't understand why we care. "You don't know what I've done!" they say.
I was thinking about it, and you know, it really makes no difference what the person down the road did that seems so horrible. I am no better than they are because I didn't get pregnant out of wedlock and have an abortion, or I'm not on drugs. The only thing that makes me different from a serial killer is summed up in one word - repentance. I have repented from my sin and accepted Christ; I've committed to live a life that glorifies him. When God the Father sees me, he sees his son on the cross. As soon as a serial killer accepts Christ as Lord, repents, and committs to live a life that glorifies God, guess what? God sees CHRIST. Not That person and the deeds he has done.

Now, you can't take this concept and run with it, everything has to be in moderation. Just because you are no better than someone doesn't mean that you can be close friends with them, if they are living a life of rebellion against God. Proverbs specifically warns us against 'going with the ungodly'. If you have an acquaintance that needs God, share him with them, and if they continue to reject him, it is only your job to pray for them. They will tear you down. Only God can change their hearts.

-Laura

7/06/2007

2007-07-06T22:56:00.000-04:00

God, Heaven, and Prayer

So, earlier this year I prayed, "God, give me a servant's heart."

Weeeell, he answered that prayer! He says, ok, you want a servants heart, lets get started. Kinda makes me think of something like a hairdresser. I go in and ask for a haircut, and then when he starts whacking away at the hair I start freaking out and saying "HEY, Wait a minute! I didn't want this!!" Of course, in the end, the haircut is exactly what I wanted, but during the process I'm sitting there freaking out. I'm such an idiot.
On the way to be dropped off to go to camp, Mama started talking about how I was going to be in charge of the house a lot this year, since Caiti and Mama are both working at preschool. I'm telling you, I seriously started flipping out when she started talking about it. Just inside, I didn't say anything to her, but I was like, "AH! God, no..this is so not cool, this is not fair! This is MY sr year of high school HOW AM I GONNA DO IT?!"
haha. I can just see God sitting in heaven laughing at me. Either laughing or shaking his head. I'm sure he must get a kick out if it sometimes, though, when we pray for something and he gives us a very good answer, and we just go bonkers.
So, we get to camp, and I forget all about it, but the whole week(for me) was centered around selflessness and being a servant to others. *cough*
Then I got home and was reminded of my situation. I was resigned, but I was very scared. I frantically expressed my fear in about 2 minutes, and after that I was all good. Now It's like....like a game. I'm standing in position, ready to jump at every ball that comes my way, psyched about the game and the challenge it poses, and ready to win!! Then last night I realized that this is an answer to my prayer for a servant's heart. *laugh* I'm so silly.

Sunday night our children's pastor preached on heaven. (he's the pastor's son.) As I've gotten older, I've lost many of the views I had on heaven as a child. I feel for all the poor deluded children like myself, who envision heaven as a bright, translucent city where everyone floats around five inches above the ground in robes too long to see our feet. *hehe* I read Narnia, and loved C.S. Lewis's picture of heaven. The REAL Narnia. Well, that's pretty much what Pastor Nolan said heaven would be. Just like earth, but no sin!! Who has been taught that there will be no time in heaven, and no night? I was. Think again though, there will be time in heaven! And night! I have references, but I'm too lazy to go find them right now. If you want them, comment and I'll get them for you. Just imagine the joy and laughter there will be in heaven. I am convinced that heaven will be the most amazing place anyone could ever imagine!! Just think - we get to worship God in all purity; without sin to mar our relationship with him! Perfect fellowship with God!!! We get to spend time with him, laugh with him, sing with him, with other believers. Anyone who thinks God hasn't got a sense of humor needs to get to know God better. Plus, why do you think we enjoy humor so much? God created it for us to enjoy. God created us to enjoy life and thus glorify him. In everything we do, we glorify God - as long as it isn't tainted by sin. And in heaven there will be NO SIN and we will glorify God in everything we do!!! Astounding.

Prayer is such a magical way of communication. Like telepathy sort of. (A side thought here - everything that is sinful is a distortion of something God created for us to glorify him with. I never really thought of that before.) God always knows what we are thinking, and he can put into our minds things that he wants us to know. The power of prayer is unbelievable! At camp I was in a group called the Plank Setters, which consisted of a girl and a guy cabin(brother and sister cabins) and two counselors. I have committed to pray for everyone in this group as specifically as I can for ...as long as I can. In asking others what can I pray for them, they are more than willing to ask me the same thing, and that gets so many people praying for each other! It encourages me so much to know that someone I don't know very well will pray specifically for me, because we are brothers and sisters in Christ. Well, I've been thinking about what could happen if many of us in the group will continue to pray for each other for years. If we do that, just imagine the change in our lives, and the change in the world! There are 16 of us, and 16 young people who are completely devoted to Christ could TOTALLY change the world!! Isn't that exciting?!
-Laura

6/20/2007

2007-06-20T22:58:00.000-04:00

Send Me Lord, I want to go.

I believe God has a plan for me.
Ever since I began having a personal relationship with Jesus, I just had this feeling that there was something big, something HUGE in store for me. I've always loved babies. Always. I've always been interested in missions. I can remember, as an 8 year old, reading a biography of Gladys Alyward and thinking, "*I* could never be a missionary. You have to be really Godly to be a missionary." I always wished I could, though.I've been interested in nursing since I was a preteen. When I was 15 I felt God's specific calling for me to be a nurse. He confirmed this calling in a very special way. When I had prayed for confirmation, I asked that it be through a verse in the Bible, and in faith, I opened up my Bible to a random spot, and read the verse my finger landed on.
It was half a verse, the first half of it was on the front side of the page. The part I got was astounding.
"and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people."

That's Matthew 4:23b.
Amazing, isn't it?

It was only this year when I fully realized that God had called me to missions. Pastor preached, and I don't remember much of anything, except in the invitation he asked us, would we go? I do remember answering yes with all my heart, Lord, please, send me!! I want to go! And since then the desire to go share the hope of Christ with others just grows and grows.
I think He might be calling me to Africa, but I don't know. I just know I've always thought of myself as a missionary to Africa, been interested in it, and several of my friends, and my mother, (without them knowing I was interested in it) thought of me going there. My desire is to run/work in an orphanage in Africa, specifically with the babies and young children who are dumped, or left without parents because of AIDS.

The reason I posted a picture of the ocean is this: last year, I was carried out by a strong rip current, and I thought I wouldn't make it back to shore. Thinking back to how I felt still makes me somewhat sick. I have learned some valuable lessons from that experience. God has a plan for me. If he did not, I would not be here today. Also, I am in his hands, and he can do with me what he will. I may think I have a will, but I do not. There in the ocean, with the water dragging me back farther and farther from the shore, pushing me underneat the surface, I had no power. None. I couldn't help myself at all! We were swimming to the side, swimming, swimming, getting nowhere. Completely powerless. If I am so powerless in something as small as the ocean(small in comparison to God) then how much more so in God's hands? The only difference is this- God gives me free will to make my own choices. BUT if I do not make the right choices, he ultimately will punish(non-Christians) or chastise(Christians) me, and do with me whatever he wants.

6/15/2007

2007-06-15T22:59:00.000-04:00

Stand Fast!

Galatians 5 is one of my favorite chapters in the new testament. Soon I hope to do an in-depth word study of the whole chapter, and post on my study, because I know I can gain so much more insight that way. Also, there are some verses in the whole chapter that I don't completely understand, so I need to study it.
For now I'll just post the first verse.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

Do not forget, that we have a freedom from sin, through Christ! Satan will come and trick us into thinking that there is nothing we can do about [a particular sin you struggle with], and we get to feeling helpless and tied up, so that we sink further and further into that sin. If we will only remember though, we are not slaves to sin any longer! We are free!! It is only by our own choice that we stay in sin. The moment we choose, we can claim our victory by the blood of Jesus Christ. If you ever struggle with feeling helplessly lost in a sin, I would encourage you to memorize this verse, and meditate on it often. I know it has helped me to gain victory over sin.

-Laura

2/17/2007

2007-02-17T23:01:00.000-05:00

He's so faithful

Life at home can be tough. It really can. The way I feel affects those around me. The way those around me feel affects me. Lately my parents haven't had the best moods. Things have been really rough. I just had a great week away from it all, with my friends, and some adults I really look up to. Then I came home to the same thing I left. Depressed, frustrated parents. Wow. That really puts a damper on life. I was getting discouraged before I even got home! God really shoved a few things from this week back into my head though. It was like he said, "Hey! Remember that? It's true!" hehe!
All things work together for good to them that love God, and to them that are called according to his purpose. (not exact quote) Romans 8:28.
Day by day, and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials near.
Right now I'm going through this situation where I'm trying to stay positive and happy and cheerful while my parents are going through a really, really tough spot. It grinds down on me, and makes it hard to go on cheerfully, but God reminded me of those things.
Then he gave me tons of verses that a dear friend had sent me the references for. She didn't even do it on purpose, but God led her to, and I looked up the verses, and they were exactly what I needed at that moment. It's amazing how God orchestrates life.
He'll always pull me through, if I hold on to him, and trust him.

2/05/2007

2007-02-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

Evergreen

This is a drimys winteri, an evergreen tree

I was thinking earlier, how God's love is constant. Like an evergreen. He always loves, they always have greenery. Then, when I looked up the definitions, I found that they more paralleled what kind of Christian I want to be, than what God is.

Evergreen-
A plant that retains its leaves for more than one growing season.
Its leaves persist until a new set has appeared.
Bears foliage throughout the year.
Is never entirely without green foliage.

I go through seasons in my life where I don't show that I am a Christian.

If a tree looses all it's leaves, it will die. Right? Unless it's winter, and it has shed all it's leaves and gone to sleep. Trees can do that! By doing that, they follow their natural pattern of life and glorify God. Well, I'm not a tree. It isn't right for me to fall asleep to God, and quit putting out leaves. It isn't glorifying to God when I do that. Maybe this isn't the most profound thing in the world, but it really struck me.
I want to be evergreen. A girl that keeps her relationship with God for more than just camp and the prayer advance. Someone who holds on to the lessons God teaches me, until he gives me another, and then holding on to that, and applying it to my life 'till the next. I want to bear testimony to Christ living through me throughout the year. To be never entirely without some token to show that I am a girl living for God. That is what glorifies him.
-Laura