And so I have completed my sophomore year of college. Almost. I haven't quite finished paying for it, but I have finished and passed all the coursework! Hooray!
Had a lot of hard times, had a lot of good times, learned so so much and .... I'm glad it's over. =D
I really need to learn to rely on the Lord more. I pushed Him out of the way so much, when I could have had His help if I had spent some time with Him. It's a learning process. =) I'm so stubborn I learn the hard way, a lot.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sophomore!!
Well, here I am, getting ready to go back to school! I am a sophomore.
I went to school in the fall with much anticipation. I can remember riding down to school thinking, "This is insane. This is just insane. Let's just turn around and go back home. This is impossible. This is never going to work." My stomach was in knots, and I was so nervous. My first day at school my cell phone broke, and I was a wreck. It took a couple of months for me to get used to life at school, but I finally adjusted. I made it through the end of the semester and came out with my GPA where I wanted it, and had a great group of friends. I went back to school and worked for 3 weeks of Christmas break before school started. Second semester was FANTASTIC. My group of friends grew, and we found our "core" group. We had fun, we studied, we wrote research papers, we laughed, we cried, we fought (some of us), we ate french fries, and we conquered finals! I made it into the nursing program!!! I'm going to nursing school in one of the top 10 nursing school in the nation! SO exciting. We all parted ways to get summer jobs, but as the weeks passed by, I still had no job.
As I was praying, God lead me to stop searching for a job. He told me to wait on him. So I waited - impatiently. "Okay, God! Bring me a job! Drop it in my lap! I'm waiting!!" One night as I was praying I told him, "Lord, you know I need a job! All you have to do is give your word. One word and I have a job. It's in your hands, Lord. Please!" Sometimes God will reach down from heaven and give me a clear word, or a phrase, or a sentence. He'll send a thought, and I know it's not my own. He said, "Laura, you don't need a job. You only need for me to provide for you." So I stewed for a few days. Huffed and puffed. "I can't believe this. I'm sitting here all summer, not doing ANYTHING, when I could be working! I don't understand! I want to work. I'm WILLING to work!! I will work HARD and LONG. I'll do what it takes to accomplish my goals! I'm not lazy! I don't want people to think I'm lazy. I want to go back to school! This is my dream! What am I going to do?!" When I realized that I was hating God's will for my life, I was a little schocked. Romans 12:1-2 talks about renewing the mind so that one can accomplish the "good, perfect, and acceptable" will of God. If God's will is really perfect, then how can I hate it. I started praying that God would change my heart, and I also started thinking about all the pros of not having a job. First of all, how cool is it that God would send me to college, but not make me pay for it? How cool is it that I get to stay home without a job this summer? I've been able to spend a lot of time with friends, and family, help with VBS at church, and I even held a yard sale at home. Very cool. I'm getting SO MUCH REST this summer. At school, rest is like...unheard of.
Most of all, God is teaching me to have faith, and stretching the faith I have. I don't understand why he works the way he works, not at all. It is hard, to believe that he will provide for me through this journey. Now that I'm a nursing student, I have even more costs than if I were pursuing some other study. I have to have health insurance, a background check, uniform, tools (stethoscope&hemostat, etc.), my books are going to be very expensive, and then there is the normal tuition, room, and board, as well as other expenses during the school year. Going into this with NO MONEY and trusting God to provide is extremely difficult. The Lord has reminded me though, that this is his idea, not mine. Last year he told me he would make it "painfully clear" that this is his idea, not mine, and that there is no way I can accomplish this without him.
So, here we go. Not too long, and I'll be setting out for school, once again, pretty much penniless. Not destitute, though, because I have God as my father and he will provide for me. He loves to take care of me, and to prove himself.
I went to school in the fall with much anticipation. I can remember riding down to school thinking, "This is insane. This is just insane. Let's just turn around and go back home. This is impossible. This is never going to work." My stomach was in knots, and I was so nervous. My first day at school my cell phone broke, and I was a wreck. It took a couple of months for me to get used to life at school, but I finally adjusted. I made it through the end of the semester and came out with my GPA where I wanted it, and had a great group of friends. I went back to school and worked for 3 weeks of Christmas break before school started. Second semester was FANTASTIC. My group of friends grew, and we found our "core" group. We had fun, we studied, we wrote research papers, we laughed, we cried, we fought (some of us), we ate french fries, and we conquered finals! I made it into the nursing program!!! I'm going to nursing school in one of the top 10 nursing school in the nation! SO exciting. We all parted ways to get summer jobs, but as the weeks passed by, I still had no job.
As I was praying, God lead me to stop searching for a job. He told me to wait on him. So I waited - impatiently. "Okay, God! Bring me a job! Drop it in my lap! I'm waiting!!" One night as I was praying I told him, "Lord, you know I need a job! All you have to do is give your word. One word and I have a job. It's in your hands, Lord. Please!" Sometimes God will reach down from heaven and give me a clear word, or a phrase, or a sentence. He'll send a thought, and I know it's not my own. He said, "Laura, you don't need a job. You only need for me to provide for you." So I stewed for a few days. Huffed and puffed. "I can't believe this. I'm sitting here all summer, not doing ANYTHING, when I could be working! I don't understand! I want to work. I'm WILLING to work!! I will work HARD and LONG. I'll do what it takes to accomplish my goals! I'm not lazy! I don't want people to think I'm lazy. I want to go back to school! This is my dream! What am I going to do?!" When I realized that I was hating God's will for my life, I was a little schocked. Romans 12:1-2 talks about renewing the mind so that one can accomplish the "good, perfect, and acceptable" will of God. If God's will is really perfect, then how can I hate it. I started praying that God would change my heart, and I also started thinking about all the pros of not having a job. First of all, how cool is it that God would send me to college, but not make me pay for it? How cool is it that I get to stay home without a job this summer? I've been able to spend a lot of time with friends, and family, help with VBS at church, and I even held a yard sale at home. Very cool. I'm getting SO MUCH REST this summer. At school, rest is like...unheard of.
Most of all, God is teaching me to have faith, and stretching the faith I have. I don't understand why he works the way he works, not at all. It is hard, to believe that he will provide for me through this journey. Now that I'm a nursing student, I have even more costs than if I were pursuing some other study. I have to have health insurance, a background check, uniform, tools (stethoscope&hemostat, etc.), my books are going to be very expensive, and then there is the normal tuition, room, and board, as well as other expenses during the school year. Going into this with NO MONEY and trusting God to provide is extremely difficult. The Lord has reminded me though, that this is his idea, not mine. Last year he told me he would make it "painfully clear" that this is his idea, not mine, and that there is no way I can accomplish this without him.
So, here we go. Not too long, and I'll be setting out for school, once again, pretty much penniless. Not destitute, though, because I have God as my father and he will provide for me. He loves to take care of me, and to prove himself.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Just a walk, but now I'm changed.
I took a walk today. I wanted help. I wanted healing, and I wanted to forgive.
You see, earlier, all the anger and hurt I was pushing back came welling up inside of me with a force that overwhelmed me. I wanted to forgive, and I didnt want the anger I could feel poisoning me. I couldn't help it though. I had been wronged, again and again and again. I had forgiven, again and again and again, and now I was facing a frustrating situation which, while not very important, made me realize just how upset I was. Abandoned, I was now helpess to fix my problem. A problem that could wait for a solution, but presented me with a terrible thought. What if it had been a much bigger problem? What if it had been life changing? No matter the problem, the one who was supposed to protect me and care for me was gone, wasting time and money on things that do not matter. Unprotected and uncared for, there I stood, trying to fight for myself, for those I love, and for the one leaving us vulnerable.
I was helpless to put away my anger. I was powerless to forgive. I couldn't do it on my own. So I took a walk. I cried out to the One who will never leave me. I gave Him my anger and asked Him to wash me clean. I asked for help so I could forgive and love again. The One who is eternally faithful heard my cries, took my heart, and made me clean. He forgave my sin, washed it away, and gave me His strength so that I could forgive.
I took a walk today, down my best friend's driveway. And when I came back, I was changed.
You see, earlier, all the anger and hurt I was pushing back came welling up inside of me with a force that overwhelmed me. I wanted to forgive, and I didnt want the anger I could feel poisoning me. I couldn't help it though. I had been wronged, again and again and again. I had forgiven, again and again and again, and now I was facing a frustrating situation which, while not very important, made me realize just how upset I was. Abandoned, I was now helpess to fix my problem. A problem that could wait for a solution, but presented me with a terrible thought. What if it had been a much bigger problem? What if it had been life changing? No matter the problem, the one who was supposed to protect me and care for me was gone, wasting time and money on things that do not matter. Unprotected and uncared for, there I stood, trying to fight for myself, for those I love, and for the one leaving us vulnerable.
I was helpless to put away my anger. I was powerless to forgive. I couldn't do it on my own. So I took a walk. I cried out to the One who will never leave me. I gave Him my anger and asked Him to wash me clean. I asked for help so I could forgive and love again. The One who is eternally faithful heard my cries, took my heart, and made me clean. He forgave my sin, washed it away, and gave me His strength so that I could forgive.
I took a walk today, down my best friend's driveway. And when I came back, I was changed.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Dear Blog
Dear Blog,
48 hour work weeks are crazy. Especially when it includes all day at church Sunday, Wednesday all evening at church, and possibly 2 more nights out all evening.
My dad's dad passed away in January. He was buried on his birthday. It was bittersweet. So glad he got to go home, though.
Family is going through some issues. I won't lie, it's tough. I've decided to save my money so I can go to Pensacola Christian College.
I get really tired of all the teasing at work......the youngest white girl, pretty, single, innocent, naive, etc......
it's so dirty at work....dirt, and vulgar people. *sigh*
I want to go to college!
Lord, help me be a light in the midst of the darkness at work.
I'm always tired. But the next 4 saturdays are mandatory.
I love my church SO MUCH. My kids in children's church, youth choir, adult choir, the Easter program, Sunday School...it's all so good and refreshing.
Good night, blog world.
48 hour work weeks are crazy. Especially when it includes all day at church Sunday, Wednesday all evening at church, and possibly 2 more nights out all evening.
My dad's dad passed away in January. He was buried on his birthday. It was bittersweet. So glad he got to go home, though.
Family is going through some issues. I won't lie, it's tough. I've decided to save my money so I can go to Pensacola Christian College.
I get really tired of all the teasing at work......the youngest white girl, pretty, single, innocent, naive, etc......
it's so dirty at work....dirt, and vulgar people. *sigh*
I want to go to college!
Lord, help me be a light in the midst of the darkness at work.
I'm always tired. But the next 4 saturdays are mandatory.
I love my church SO MUCH. My kids in children's church, youth choir, adult choir, the Easter program, Sunday School...it's all so good and refreshing.
Good night, blog world.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
And so the new year begins
My dear friends, it is now 2010! And for this I am extremely grateful. I think this calls for a bit of retrospect.
2009
I have made a couple of goals for myself, so far.
SO, here are some pictures from 2009 to finish up my posty.
2009
- I got my driver's license! w00t!
- I went to the beach
- I graduated
- I was an assistant counselor at camp with one of my best friends
- I was a camper for three weeks
- I drove -out of state- to North Carolina, accompanied by a dear friend
- I turned 19
- I moved back to the city where my mom grew up
- I drove, alone, to Kentucky to meet my best friend in person for the very first time, and attend her wedding.
- I went to VA for a short week and got to see Washington D.C. for the first time!
- I got my first full-time job
- I only got sick three times! Astounding!
I have made a couple of goals for myself, so far.
- I want to read more books. At least one book a month.
- I want to work out at least three times a week with my best friend, Alicia.
- I want to take the SAT in March.
- I want to wear all of my jewelry, instead of just a few pieces.
- I want to celebrate all the the reasons for all the different holidays on days OTHER than their designated national holiday.
SO, here are some pictures from 2009 to finish up my posty.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Oh dear blog, I ask thy forgiveness for I surely dropped off the face of the earth for half of November.
Things were just a bit .... tough is a good word. And I just didn't feel like posting. Not that I wasn't grateful for something every day, but I didn't feel like posting, so I didn't.
Would you like an update on life?
Thanksgiving was a wonderful day. We had almost all the food prepared beforehand, so there wasn't much to do but bake on Thanksgiving. We watched the parade and the dog show, I made a souffle with as much topping as there was souffle. =) It was very awesome. We sat down to dinner together and ate, and then later that night our best friends came over and had leftovers and coffee with us! It was magical. =P
I am currently scheduled to start working a new job on Wednesday. It is a full-time, first shift job, and I am very grateful for it! It's going to be interesting.
I finished painting and cleaning my room. Now I'm on project Get Everything Organized Before I Go To Work. Its going really well! I'm about halfway to completion.
I finally got a bookshelf to display all my lovely books on, and perhaps I shall take some pictures and show you all!
I've decided that it is time for me to take the SAT. SO, I'm borrowing a book from a friend until I can buy my own, and then I shall be able to write in it. I plan on studying it for an hour or more every day, and hopefully taking the SAT in January. I may wait until March, though.
I was cleaning my bed room today, and picking up some glass that I was planning on throwing away, but it had falled out of my trash bin. In the process I pulled my lamp off the desk and shattered one of the glass plates on it. It's pretty much history now. I need to buy a new lamp. =l I've gotten plenty of use out of it, though.
And now I must depart and clean up the glass. <3
Things were just a bit .... tough is a good word. And I just didn't feel like posting. Not that I wasn't grateful for something every day, but I didn't feel like posting, so I didn't.
Would you like an update on life?
Thanksgiving was a wonderful day. We had almost all the food prepared beforehand, so there wasn't much to do but bake on Thanksgiving. We watched the parade and the dog show, I made a souffle with as much topping as there was souffle. =) It was very awesome. We sat down to dinner together and ate, and then later that night our best friends came over and had leftovers and coffee with us! It was magical. =P
I am currently scheduled to start working a new job on Wednesday. It is a full-time, first shift job, and I am very grateful for it! It's going to be interesting.
I finished painting and cleaning my room. Now I'm on project Get Everything Organized Before I Go To Work. Its going really well! I'm about halfway to completion.
I finally got a bookshelf to display all my lovely books on, and perhaps I shall take some pictures and show you all!
I've decided that it is time for me to take the SAT. SO, I'm borrowing a book from a friend until I can buy my own, and then I shall be able to write in it. I plan on studying it for an hour or more every day, and hopefully taking the SAT in January. I may wait until March, though.
I was cleaning my bed room today, and picking up some glass that I was planning on throwing away, but it had falled out of my trash bin. In the process I pulled my lamp off the desk and shattered one of the glass plates on it. It's pretty much history now. I need to buy a new lamp. =l I've gotten plenty of use out of it, though.
And now I must depart and clean up the glass. <3
Monday, November 16, 2009
=D
You know, I'm just not any good at posting every day. Good thing I am good at making up when I forget! I have 3 thankfuls today. Saturday, Sunday, and today.
I have some amazing grandparents. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but they love me. They let me go over to their house pretty much whenever I feel like it. They let me eat their food, and sleep in their bed. They don't even mind if I leave a little mess, once in awhile. I am so grateful for them! <3
I also have an amazing church. I am infinitely grateful for it! I've never been to a place like this before. I have the opportunity to serve, and be served. I'm part of a family there. There are people who have become like family to me. Ladies who take time to mentor me, friends who take time to love me..... My choirs are FANTASTIC. This is our second Christmas with Tyler and Janson, and they have really done a lot for the music at Belmont. The music ministries have blossomed under their care. =) It has also been encouraging to watch THEM grow in Christ as they lead us.
Today I am thankful for my sister, Caiti. She wrote a hilarious blog post about a game my siblings and I used to play as children, based on a NatGeo documentary. Caiti has such a different perspective on life than I do, and it shocks me sometimes. We are pretty different, but I love her to death. She is amazing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I have been getting back into doing some deeper devotions this past week, and actually DOING them. It is SO easy not to. I was thinking, like I do a lot, and my train of thought was going all over the place. I eventually ended up thinking about a set of tapes a dear lady gave me. In the tapes she talked about how important it is for girls to protect the purity of their brothers in Christ, instead of being a stumbling block to them in dress or conversation. She talked about being the kind of girl that is respected by her guy friends, and makes them want to be more like Christ. In my "growing-up" as a Christian since then, it has been one of my unspoken goals to be that girl. I wonder if I have achieved my goal?
On a lighter note, I'm hungry.......
=P
<3 Laura
I have some amazing grandparents. We don't always see eye-to-eye, but they love me. They let me go over to their house pretty much whenever I feel like it. They let me eat their food, and sleep in their bed. They don't even mind if I leave a little mess, once in awhile. I am so grateful for them! <3
I also have an amazing church. I am infinitely grateful for it! I've never been to a place like this before. I have the opportunity to serve, and be served. I'm part of a family there. There are people who have become like family to me. Ladies who take time to mentor me, friends who take time to love me..... My choirs are FANTASTIC. This is our second Christmas with Tyler and Janson, and they have really done a lot for the music at Belmont. The music ministries have blossomed under their care. =) It has also been encouraging to watch THEM grow in Christ as they lead us.
Today I am thankful for my sister, Caiti. She wrote a hilarious blog post about a game my siblings and I used to play as children, based on a NatGeo documentary. Caiti has such a different perspective on life than I do, and it shocks me sometimes. We are pretty different, but I love her to death. She is amazing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What if you and I went for a walk out in the rain
And you turned to me and you said you’d like to share Just a little of your pain
Well my brother I thought you’d never say
I’ve been waiting forever for this day
What if you were to call me up and ask
For a minute of my time’
And you cried and said you were different from the rest
Like it was some kind of crime
Well my sister I hoped that you might come
And I promise that you are not the only one
Look me in the eye and tell me honestly
What ever lies behind your broken heart
Is too complex for me
Come and talk to me if for only for a while
I am reaching for you
What if you were to tell me you were through
With the way that you live
Cause you take so much from an empty world outside
You've got nothing left to give
Well my brother I’ve felt the same way too
But someone changed me and He’s got his eye on you
What if you remembered who you were
Before people broke you down
And you realized you were someones little girl
And he loves when you’re around
We'll my sister, your dad has seen you hurt
And He’s waiting for you with open arms
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nothing hurts Him more than seeing you in pain
Just to see you come so close to Him
And turn and walk away
Hide yourself in Him, He will make you brand new
He is reaching out for you
Your God is reaching out for you
He's reaching out for you
I have been getting back into doing some deeper devotions this past week, and actually DOING them. It is SO easy not to. I was thinking, like I do a lot, and my train of thought was going all over the place. I eventually ended up thinking about a set of tapes a dear lady gave me. In the tapes she talked about how important it is for girls to protect the purity of their brothers in Christ, instead of being a stumbling block to them in dress or conversation. She talked about being the kind of girl that is respected by her guy friends, and makes them want to be more like Christ. In my "growing-up" as a Christian since then, it has been one of my unspoken goals to be that girl. I wonder if I have achieved my goal?
On a lighter note, I'm hungry.......
=P
<3 Laura
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)