Exhausted

I was disappointed that I wouldn't have a chance to run yesterday, or today. Yesterday I was gone from around 2-9, and I was gone from 8:20-almost 10 today. Fortunately, I had quite the workout, today, so that made up for lack of exercize, but I still enjoy running much better than lugging boxes up and down steep stairs. :D I was curious to see how many trips I would make, and overall I made around 30 trips to the basement. Including the trips I made upstairs, as well as from the basement to the first level, probably around....40 trips. :D I was really hungry today! As soon as I got done eating I would burn off all the energy in like...half an hour. (not really, but it felt like it.) I was also very tired because I got home late and went to bed late last night.

I was reading about Gideon today. I wonder how old he was when he led those 300 men into battle. He was the least of his father's house, so I'm wondering if perhaps he wasn't very old at all? It took him awhile to believe that God would be with him. I wonder how long it would have taken me to completely trust God. I still don't. I trust him a lot more than I ever have, but when I was afraid our home situation was going to go bad, and that we weren't going to have enough money, I know I didn't trust him enough. It's so easy to say you will trust him once he provides, but when you're at the beginning of a need and just don't see where the money will come from, it is SO easy to stress and worry.

I was talking with one of my mentors today about evil spirits, and how real they are. A lot of the time when we start feeling depressed or angry or ugly, or something, for no good reason, it's because we are under attack. I forget that far too often, and I'm guessing that a lot of times when my joy is gone, I've let Satan rob me of my joy, or his demons. That is so sad. With God's power I could have kept my joy, but in my ignorance it was stolen. The neat thing about knowing that Satan and his demons are actively at work is being able to realize that sometimes when you think something horrible, or are tempted, or just all of a sudden feel like a nasty ole meanie and want to be ugly to everyone, it's not all you. (Sometimes, however, it IS all you!) There are definitely times when you can tell the difference.

One time I was at a prayer advance (www. Christlifemin.org), and this thought popped into my head, "*scoff/laugh* You're not really going to go home and change your life over this! phhht." and I was like, "*indignant scoff back* Uh, yes, I am!"

Now that was crazy! I could feel Satan attacking me that weekend. At times it is easy to rebuke his angels, since you know it is them, and just send them packing. This time Satan wouldn't leave. He really bothered me all weekend.


Anyway, I am going to go to bed now. I am so tired.

<3

Laura