"Miss Stacy took all us girls who are in our teens down to the brook last Wednesday, and talked to us about it. She said we couldn't be too careful what habits we formed and what ideals we acquired in our teens, because by the time we were twenty our characters would be developed and the foundation laid for our whole future life. And she said if the foundation was shaky we could never build anything really worth while on it. Diana and I talked the matter over coming home from school. We felt extremely solemn, Marilla. And we decided that we would try to be very careful indeed and form respectable habits and learn all we could and be as sensible as possible, so that by the time we were twenty our characters would be properly developed. It's perfectly appalling to think of being twenty, Marilla. It sounds so fearfully old and grown up." - Anne Shirley


So, my "life theme" for Summer 08 and being 18 is "Grow Up" to put it simply. Over the Summer I did a ton of Bible reading trying to finish reading it ALL the way through. I got so burnt out that By September when school really started getting more intense I just flopped and kinda ..quit everything. One of the things I have done in my campaign for "growing up" is start pursuing evangelism. I am going to be a missionary, and I am going to start that NOW. And then being a good active role model to younger girls is something I've been working on, too. Concluding that Africa is definitely where God wants me is another one of the steps I've taken.
My next big step is to form consistent habits.
I'm trying to get realistic about having a real, consistent life in God's Word, consistent prayer life, and waaaaay less consistent computer life.

You guys, that is HARD!!!

I've enlisted a couple friends and Caiti to call me out when I'm on the computer too much. I'm going to start really being accountable to Tay again (things simmer out so gradually sometimes you forget they ever existed).

I want to establish good life habits by the time college gets here, and I graduate this May. So, 18 is my designated year for habit and character development. Actually, habit will automatically flow to character, because when I get my habits straight (reading God's Word, memorizing and meditating, and praying) that totally changes my character. I need this. It is so easy to sit down and look at all the what-if's and then totally get flung further off track. What if I don't get married before I go to Africa? What if I don't go until I'm 40? What if I don't make a good mom! (Okay, so I plan on going and working in an orphanage. I don't think bad moms would do so good at that!) What if I really am stupid? What if I really am ugly? But it doesn't matter if I will make a good mom and if I am stupid and if I am ugly, because when Jesus Christ shines through me I will become the best mom I can ever be, the most brilliant I can ever be, and the most beautiful I can ever be. I need God's Word to totally transform my mind because I really do struggle with the whole "I'm not good enough" thing. It makes me feel stupid to admit that I struggle with it because it seems like everybody in the whole word struggles with it and I'M a mature, wonderful Christian so I shouldn't, and I feel even more like a failure. *pride alert*
*augh*

I can do all things through Jesus who strengthens me.
I can be consistent in reading/memorizing/meditat

ing/chores/school/praying
I can be a good mom (okay, yes, it is one of my biggest fears in life that I'm gonna be a horrible mom! even though I want to have like 15 kids.....maybe Satan knows it's crucial for me to be a good mom in the future and is trying to scare me and whatever....)
I can be really and truly intelligent
and, I can be beautiful.

Now unto him who is able to do far more abundantly than all I could ask or think, according to the power that works in me, to HIM be glory forever and ever.