Beautiful??

It has been a long week you guys. Drama drama drama, life is changing, God is changing me, and I'm just coming to realize a lot of things......
one of which being the fact that I have previously found my worth in the things I accomplish and how I look. That has made me so tired. I have been so driven to accomplish things the right way, and when I don't do it the way I think I should I get upset and discourage. When I don't look just right in an outfit, or have a bad hair/makeup day I just get in a bad mood.

I grasped last night that what I think isn't what I know. Like someone will ask, "what do you think?" and I'll respond with what I know to be the truth. But for some reason when it's just the thoughts in my head no one is asking to know, somehow, what I think is so far from what I know. And, I also realized that what I think is what makes me. Y'all, what I think is so messed up.

I have a hard time not focusing on my faults and failures, and just being down on myself in general. I was thinking about some stuff the other day and I was like, "psh. nothing like that would ever happen to me." and God kinda gave me a look and was like, "Um, you're talking to me, and I'm God. You are praying for this specific thing, and you're telling me that it can't ever happen to you because you're not worth it? First of all, I am GOD! Where is your faith? And, I made you! You are beautiful."
I was doing my devotions tonight, and it just hit me. I'm beautiful. That is profound. Like, not my looks, but me. Me beautiful??? Me. Beautiful. I really don't get it...but what Jesus tells me, I believe. And that makes me feel special. That I am beautiful. I've never really felt beautiful before.......not like this. I've known I looked pretty, or that I was a nice person and that people liked me, people have told me I'm beautiful, and I knew that Jesus loves me and thought I was beautiful (but that was not anything special because he thinks that about everyone). But this is much different. I am worth so much to Jesus, as a unique individual, and he loves me for my personality, my quirks, my flaws, me. This is such a different and wonderful feeling, to know and believe how much Jesus loves me! I don't know why I didn't ever see it like this before.

God is good. =) And he is changing me.